I really don't understand, help?

J*A*K*C

Sorry you really messed up, and in the end, you'll get what God believes you deserve!

abyzmal_wretch28

Sorry buddy...
Adultery is a one way ticket straight to Hell.
You reap what you sew... oh and by the way...
Not ALL of us have done it...
So keep your blanket statements to yourself.

juicygrl

no dumba.s.s you ARE the scum of the earth to her and always will be and no not everyone cheats just the pathectic cowards who have issues. Deal with it cause its not going away!!

Kat

you cant do anything but stay out of her way.. you have hurt her to the core and she is now left to deal with it... hine site is 20 20 just dont do it to the next one.

M R

You detroyed any trust and relationship you may have had. And you wonder why she has a problem with it??? Question is why are you two together?

box of rain

At this point, all you have left is prayer. Get down on your knees...

(*_*)chica(*_*)

You had the chance to evade the affair in the first place, but you continued to deceive your wife. There is no simple way to go around this situation. Only time will tell if your wife will regain her trust in you, but dont count on it happening until hell freezes over.

kitty1972

i wouldnt forgive you for that either..i was cheated on while i was pregnant too...and its the worst thing ive ever gone through...its tough luck mate..was your doing...but i didnt stop him seeing our child...thats way out of order..its not the childs fault and the child needs you in her life. .forget the relationship...youve blown it...just be a good dad and dont let your daughter down. and learn from your mistake in a new relationship...the grass is never greener is it??

Linda K

You can't justify your actions by saying "ok, we've all done it". Not everyone cheats and convincing yourself that they do to justify what you did won't help. I don't expect her to ever trust you again. I wouldn't. She treats you like the scum of the earth because that's what you are.

Diana

To start with, we haven't ALL done it, but, I understand the frustration of trying to gain the trust and forgiveness.

It takes a lot longer to forgive and trust someone when that trust has been betrayed.

All you can do is keep the communication open. Be as honest and truthful about everything. Do not hide ANYTHING from her. In time, after the hurt goes away and she truly loves you, she will trust and forgive you. It's not easy and it's going to be hard. Hang in there if you truly value this relationship.

Sorry

David please pray this prayer with me:

I thank you, Holy Father, that you keep your promises. I know I don't have to worry that you will keep your word to me; your love, character, and kindness guarantee you will. Dear Lord, please forgive all my transgressions and heal all people I have wronged and hurt. Help me be understanding and sensitive to their pain. Teach me to be a faithful person to seek and honor my commitments to you. I know this is important to you not only because I need to learn obedience, but I also need to develop a character more consistent with your own. Thank you for hearing my heart, in Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

jenny

Your help isn't here, Go get help.

Jimmy

You EFFED up !!!

You have a personal problem with fidelity that you owe yourself to overcome. Never cheat again. From now on be and act like the kind of man you want your daughter to meet and marry someday. This should be a lifelong goal for you now!

HONESTLY Decide.. If you can't be sure you can stay with your wife without thoughts of cheating, move out!

You don't deserve her forgiveness until you can ALWAYS put your daughter and wife before you. Always think and do things to ensure their happiness first, every week, and every day.

Time to become a Man now

Racist Answer Man

If your marriage was as convoluted as your question it's no wonder things are screwed up.

Call it quits. Get divorced. Sorry to all the therapists out there but trust is NEVER going to be rebuilt.

Women really do never forget.

You are not husband material. If I were your wife, I'd have flattened the back of your head with my cast iron skillet. How dare you think you can do the things you did and your wife is just going to forgive you like you forgot to bring the milk home. I hope she stays on your butt like white on rice for the rest of the time that she (for what reason I can't imagine) is with you. You should be ashamed of yourself.

Da B

To regain her trust you must become an open book for her...allowing her to know where you are at ALL times and NEVER allow gaps of time where she has right to doubt. To begin, start calling her TOO many times a day to the point of harassment or stalking. When the calling becomes an issue, start telling ALL ABOUT your day especially & exactly to who you even talked to. Bring her unexpected gifts that are for no special occasion other than to say, "I love you". This WON'T be easy but YOU CAN DO IT if you truly want back what you had. It is good to remember what you did to get her is what you will need to do to keep her. I wish for you forgiveness & happiness

Stephanie

Ahh, my father did the same just last year.. You know what? I think it's best to leave your wife, get divorced. She can never trust you again after what you did..

Of course, she will houd you, you think when you say sorry, it'll be gone in a snap? That everything would be alright?

Take responsibility for your own actions, act like your age.. Deal with the consequences, you created this mess, you find a way to finish it.

WORKING OLDER SMARTER BLONDE

YOU PLAY YOU PAY SERVES YOU RIGHT TO LOOSE YOUR WIFE don't go boo hooing for your wife after you cheated. you deserve to live with the results of your decision.

the archer

Perhaps you should think about how you would feel if she cheated.

indydst8

She's going to hound you until she's over it or she believes you have met some artificial marker of fidelity and honesty. Your best option would be to get some therapy as a couple and see if there is a midpoint you can both work to otherwise you'll always be paying your debt to her--and you are in debt to her--and always be feeling attacked and put upon.

mmurray001

Let me tell you something you really hurt your wife really bad she has taken you back in your home treats you really bad.
but she doesnt feel that she can trust you so whats the sence staying married for the childs sake. Do you and wife still love one another? she doesnt allow to attact to your daugher this is out of anger and out of control. Things dont look like they are gonna return like befor. Best of luck do what makes you happy this is not good for the child either.

paula t.

I'm surprised you re still alive and well after asking your wife to be friends with someone you cheated on her with. cheating was your first mistake and asking that of her was your last, that's why she doesn't want counseling anymore.

hogsnotbubbles

She's not for giving you for the scum bag you are, because you haven't went out and beyound your abilites to show her you won't be a scum bag anymore or again.

You need to go get counceling. After awhile, involve her in your sessions.

You need to clean up your act big time, and in doing so, it's just not going to work just by saying so.

rightio

Maybe your wife knows that you are not really committed to her. You obviously had deep feelings for this other woman if you asked her to marry you and raise your child, so it wasnt just a physical affair, it went a lot deeper than that. Your girl obviously turned you down and probably the reason you went begging back to your wife. Do you really love your wife, or are you there because the other girl didnt want you? Decide if you trully love your wife and if you do and want the marriage to survive you will need to cop all the abuse your wife puts on you. What you did destroyed her trust in you and it is going to take a long time until it comes back. Maybe the next time she starts abusing you, instead of becoming defensive, tell her that you deserve everything she is saying and you wont defend yourself and you will never defend yourself until she can get this out of her system. Maybe also suggest that if this marriage is going to have any chance of success, then both of you need to get into counselling. She needs help to learn to trust you again. If you think that she will never let up and she refuses to go to counselling with you, you have 2 choices......stay and put up with the abuse for the rest of your life, or leave and try to start again......but do it right next time.....cheating tears a hole so wide in your self esteem that it is very hard to close and I believe without counselling, your relationship with your wife doesnt stand a chance.

Dreamy S

There is nothing you can do to undo what you have done. I would not have taken you back and she may feel like she made a mistake by doing so. Time is the only thing that will heal the pain you have caused. I realize this is not what you want to hear but it is true. Maybe you need some time away from each other and you can stay away from other girls during that time to show her your devotion. You need to get as far away from the ex-girlfriend as possible.

â™¥â™¥â™¥MiSSYâ™¥â™¥â™¥

Until you put yourself in her place and totally understand how she feels and the pain you've put her through....unti you've proved to her that you really get it and understand just how she feels she will never really be able to move on and let the healing begin in earnest.

l33nix

she is never going to truely forgive you. But your daughter will see through her hate if you stand faithful from on now (yea that means becoming a monk ). its up to you now really coz you cannot do anything to change how your wife wants to act or forgive you. But can commit yourself and your life to fullfil in true love to your family without the physicalness you threw away that day of your adultry. Eventually your wife will mend slightly and show some compassion but it is going to take a long time to even close this scar in her life. Do not try to buy it from her with gifts and things. But dont forget her bday and Valtines and XMAS and aniversary. Just keep telling yourself you love and will not do anything to change that. And always tell your daughter you love her. Find a church and a pastor that does not side with either of you but you can trust to tell him your sorrows. This will help you get throught the tough times. May God have grace and mercy on you and give you dicspline and strength to fullfil your broken promise.

Tsunami

you lost the most dear thing to her and that was trust shes angry and i am not sure it will ever leave unless she goes to therapist. in fact if she doens't go it will proably get worse. she probably hates you and therefore i am not surrpized what she is doing but the child is the one that will be messed up in this mess. I am sorry that you went looking around for fun i guess or whatever. but now i am sure that you may as well pack it up and leave or if she wont' go to councelor you will have ot leae or it will get meaner and i think that is sad.

cookie

women never forget. we might say we forgive and forget, but we never really do, especially if you caused us emotional pain(in our hearts). the only thing you can do is just try to wait it out and do your best to gain her trust back again, it may take quite awhile but if you want the relationship to work you have to do it.and dont cheat anymore and maybe in awhile you'll regain her trust. good luck

Marriage Counseling seems to be a route you can take.
If you go to church, contact someone there who does counseling.
It's already a problem that obviously you can't fix yourself. The best advice I have for you is to get help from another professoinal source. If your wife won't go, then the problem will stay the same or get worse. Forgiveness is a big word for most people and extremely hard to do. Seems to me she has no intention of forgiving you anytime soon.
Seek help.

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