I think I love him or am I just being selfish?

My bf & I were together for 5 years. It was an up & down relationship but @ the end of the day, when i needed him he was there, he accepted y daughter as his pwn & does more for her than her real father does. So maybe 3 years into the relationship he cheated on me. Naturally i was hurt & wanted out of the reaaltionship. We tried that for about 2 weeks, but then i decided that we would work things out. since then it has been reallt rocky. So we broke up, ( I think) but its always like we find our way back to each other. So anyway that has gonw on for like the last 4 months. In January we decided we would take it slow & get back together, but by now I had already started seeing other people. So we would be like okay, he is gonna move back in, but then I would find a way to pick an arguement so that I could put him out so that I could chill with another guy friend. Then later on a few days later, I would call my bf back cuz I missed him. The samrthing would happen again a few days later & so on & so on. Well in Easter Sunday without notice, he picked up & moved to out of state with the girl he cheated on me with. So part of me thinks he never ended whatever he had with her, another part of me thinks that he got fed up with the yo yo game & decided to move on. I dont know. Im confused. The girl knows all about me & my baby. She knows we've been together for years & all about our relatioship. Even two days before he left he sttod outside in front of me & the girl & denied even liking her, she said nothing but now today, he's gone with her. So now Im sitting here depressed because i think I lost out on a good thing or should i just count my blessings & try to move on? Please help

janyface

This kinda situation is hard, as when youre with someone for so many years, its hard to see life going on without them.

it could be a matter of some kind of cycle going on, you cant make up your mind, when there around you , you visulize yourself with other people, when hes gone , you miss him.
Its a hard situation to be in.....
but i think he has made the desicion for you, which kind of makes the desicion easier for you, as he done the desicion making, he left you for someone else, he made that desicion, now he has to find out if he made the right descion by doing that.

You dont have to think if its the right thing, as he left, now that hes done that, let him deal with that descion, and the concequences it may bring.

As horrible as this seems, sometimes people need to be apart from someone to really no how they feel about them, you will hurt around this time, and you will think about the good times you had with him, some nights u will miss him, sometimes youll feel anger towards him, u probably will go through many stages , but u need to go through these to get over it, or to realize what you really want.

give yourself the time you need, be happy within yourself, then maybe try and find some new men out there, test the waters, see what else you may or may not find, its all this you should do to realize what you really want, what else is out there for you, or if you feel you want ur old partner back.

i was away fro my boyfriend for 9 months for us to both realize we wanted to be togther again, as we threw away what we had before, but everyone is different, you no what u will tollerate and what you wont from peoplem but just remember, he did cheat on you, so maybe this really is a blessing in disguise?......and you just havnt realized it yet?

do dont anything at the ,moment.....just give yourself some time, do some thinking, crying, talking with friends, whatever u feel u want or need to do.

time will do the working out for you, and will come to you eventually.
then everything will make sence, either way, you will come out the other end, knowing what you want to do.

i hope this helps.
i wish you all the best.
hold your head up girl.

Sasha's Mommy

You didn't think he was such a good thing when he was available. Now that he's moving on with his life you're starting to second guess your decisions. It seems to be human nature to desire what you can't have. The only thing I see that you've really lost is your fall back guy. You were using him and only wanted him around when it was convenient for you.

Time to move on and not worry about what he's doing or who he's with. There is someone out there for you who will truly love you and be faithful to you.

Good luck!

gismo

Sounds like your sad cause he closed the door to this mess before you were ready to, so please don't waste time on what if and the rest of the sappy stuff. You sound like a smart woman who has self awareness, enough so to realize that you were sending the various signals to suit your dating needs, so it was never about him, you always had him as a reserve, perhaps you finished with him emotionally when you found out he cheated on you. Regardless, move on (you already have) just move on in your mind, let this guy go - good riddens as they say, and concentrate on finding a nice healthy and stable relationship for yours and your baby girls' sake. Good luck.

I don't know that I'd push you to count your blessings just yet, but being stuck in a yo-yo relationship - especially one that's involved an affair - isn't good for anyone. Something had to break the cycle, and if that something turns out to be both of you moving on, then it will eventually work out for the best. Hopefully you'll be able to find someone else who can be a good male role model for your daughter, assuming he can't fill that role any more (although honestly, given the cheating, do you want him to?).

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