I think spouse is cheating!?

So i've really just had a very upsetting week-my husband and i have been working out some trust issues for a couple of years now-i almost divorced him after i found he had been text messaging and flirting with some other woman or women on his phone and internet-he swears it was all innocent he was begging to make the relationship work and tells me he loves me so much even though our communication has not been the best-so we have been trying to work things out. We are getting ready to celebrate our 12 year anniversary next week-we have no children thank god-and a couple of days ago i find some nude frontal pics he took of himself (like a dozen different ones) sent from his cell phone to email. Well i guess he forgot to erase it out of the sent folder where i found them and discovered they were sent to a private email he created-i got in there and had to change his password. I didnt find the pics or any saved data but i did find 2 saved contacts in that account-a phone # for messaging and an email address-with further investigating i found out its the same woman for both contacts and she works for him! I erased the pics because i freaked and panicked when i saw them-can i just asume he's taking them and not sending them to anyone? I have no solid proof that they were sent to her but it seemed like the only obvious thing-i'm not sure how to approach this whole thing :( i need advice

honest girl!

Your husband cheats on you 2 yrs ago, and you are getting ready to celebrate your 12 yr anniversary? He takes nude pictures and sends them to other women, and you still put up with this?

Something is seriously wrong with this picture and wrong with you

chelsea19622000

Tell me why are you planning on celebrating 12 years of marriage? You've got nothing to celebrate. You don't trust him for obvious reasons so why not get rid.

candi redd

Yes! he is cheating. A married man has no busy sending nude pics of himself to other females point blank. It is not an innocent act. Confront him with this information, but in a calm manner. Try not to let your anger show.

life goes on

he;s a man in a teen agers body.
divorce him and let him send nudey pics, and you go out and enjoy your life without this weirdo.

carol

It sounds like your husband is back to his old ways and up to no good.
The only way to approach this situation is to be honest about what you found and ask him what the hell is going on.
Be prepared for him to come off with a stupid answer and make him accountable for his behavior.
He is taking pictures of himself like that for a reason and I would find out what his issues are and what he has been up to.
Anything that he needs to discuss with this woman that he works with should be on the job and only pertaining to that work.
If he was not hiding something he could have told you that he had this woman's phone number and email if things were innocent.
What you found here is indicating that he may be up to no good. If you decide to work through things again with him I would definitely seek some marriage counseling with him.
He has already rocked your boat once and with that history you would think he would know better than to do something so stupid?

Shell

Get rid of him is the best advice I could give you

missymojo

You can pretty much assume he is doing something very wrong, why else would he have nude pics of himself? I have been where you are, only my husband was cheating with a 20 year old who he was crazy about. He would keep saying it was over when I left him, but then I would find proof, like the time I put a recorder in his van and heard them together and the bank statements of all the money he spent on hotel bills. I left him because even though I felt weak, that is something I would not turn a blind eye to. He ended it almost 4 years ago and we are together now , we have kids and I thought I should try if he was willing to and believe me it is not easy and if I could do it all over again, I would of stayed away. I was so completely in love with him and when he fell for this girl he broke something in me, I can't really say what but we aren't the same, I am not the same. He is very remorseful and concerned that I can't seem to get over the past, but my problem is why he did it in the first place. I always thought we were okay, I always trusted him. Think about what you are made of, can you handle always doubting his feelings for you? Because you will, and you will always wonder who he's with and what she looks like and if you look good enough. No man is worth what you will go through, I know. I feel like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop, I feel like I made my bed and now I have to sleep in it. You need to talk to him, no distractions, and lay it on the line, tell him what you found and ask why he would have nude photos. See what kind of story he comes up with, but be prepared for him to tell you the truth. Don't fall for a story though, if you think something is wrong it probably is and have a plan, know what your going to do and stick with it. Maybe counseling if you want to stay with him, it didn't work for us but maybe that is your answer. Be strong and good luck. You can reach me if you need someone...jenniferreihner@ymail.com

Logi

Hi,

If you want to confront him and have some proves about it I suggest using a keylogger. A good one, that sends reports right on your email. I used with great success Inside Keylogger.
You might wanna take a look, and after getting the proof than try to take care of your heart because it seems to me you have wasted many years with someone who does not know how to appreciate you.
Every step in our life is neccessary so do not regret anything. Just move!

Jon's girl

Sounds to me if you are working on trust issues for 2 years then there is no reasonning to his continueing to create more hes not trying so i would go ahead and file why work on something and have him distroy you fully

Susan

You think??? get some self-confidence and some self-respect- sounds long overdue. tell him if you ever catch him again, you are gone. i would suggest you start planning on life without his cheating ways. maybe he'll wake up in the meantime.

Kenneth J

On the technical side you did the right thing by changing his access password but he still can use the facility of "forgot password" and get his password mailed to his alternate mailbox. So you might have to take screen shots of each and every relevant mails and keep it safe for future use.

From your mail it looks like you have already decided to give up your 12 years of relationship with him. If so then get an attorney to sue him and claim a good settlement for yourself (in this economic recession it will be helpful).

If you decide that you can forgive him and make things work then you should get pregnant. Some men change when they realize certain things in life have changed.

Rocky

Your assumptions are right. His is cheating, and you may as well prepare to deal with it.

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