I told this guy that I loved him first, and I am hurt by his response. How do I move on?

I've had my share of painful relationships and I didn't think I was going to meet someone genuine, but I did. I really connected with this guy. He and I are not "official" yet but we talk every single day. It's been only 3 months. You may say it's too short, but the connection we shared was amazing. I was genuinely falling for this guy. Well...I know people say don't say i love you first until the man says it first, but I had the urge to last night. I texted him i love you in my cultural language. He didnt respond right away, so I texted again saying.."haha are you going to run away now?"

He texts me like 5 minutes later saying this.. "noo..to be honest i've never said that to anybody...not even my parents. i really like u..but i want u to understand that its something i have trouble saying."

i didnt reply back. i knew it was quick for me to say it, but I did. I guess a part of me wanted to really know how he felt and I guess he doesn't feel the same way. I know he was in 2 serious relationships, does it mean he didn't tell them he loved them too when he said in his text that he never said it to anybody? I'm honestly a little heartbroken and I don't know now if I want to stay with his guy so I'm planning on telling him lets stop talking although it hurts. But i know he won't be hurt by it. How do I move on?

blueberry

you know, not everyone says i love you so easily, you should be happy he was honest

You texted him that you love him?

Send him a note instead, and fold it up like a football. Say this:

"I like you. Do you like me?
Check one:
[ ] yes
[ ] no

And don't tell anybody!"

That's about the same as texting him.

IndyGirl

You made the mistake of having a face-to-face moment via text, and it went poorly.
Don't compound your error by being too hasty in letting something go that may still have potential.
You should be sorry you used your texting the WRONG way and give the guy another chance.
Good luck, Sweetie.
xoxoxo

Bernie

Lady, you really need to lay off this guy. Here you have a decent man and you are smothering him like a Mormon missionary. Give him some room. I am flabbergasted that you are even uncertain on what to do. You are blanketing this man with way too much emotion, and he just wants to have a relationship for now. Drop the "love" and just love on him. Three months is Hollywood love timeframes. You are in the real world, and love takes time to mature.

Charles D

I have known many men and women who had trouble saying I love you. I think it is harder for some men. There could be a number of reasons. Maybe his Dad never told him that. If you are one who needs to hear that, (and most of us do need to), you wont be happy with him.
Some people are just not affectionate. Don't take it personally just find someone who is more affectionate. Easier said than done I know.

Lady

Some guys have a hard time saying those 3 words. Look for things that he does to show you he loves you. He may not have been brought up with saying those 3 words. And to say it now? Well, it just may feel awkward for him and not saying he doesn't have the same feelings. If you need to hear those words for assurance of his love for you then tell him, but understand we woman are different then men and 3 words may be easy for us to say, but for men it can be hard. I know it doesn't seem fair, but express to him your concerns. It seems that he already told you way he doesn't say those 3 words already.

disneyite519

"I love you" is one of the most important sentences a human being can say to another. I know you wanted him to say it right back to you but he's a bit more conservative with his feelings than you are. I think that's a good thing and you should respect his feelings. It doesn't mean he won't feel that way. It just means he wants to be really sure before he says something so important. I think that speaks volumes about the quality of his character. I wouldn't give up on someone like that.

craig b

Sorry......but, what are you ? Like 13 y.o.?
Where do you get off in thinking that "love" is about what one says?
And if you expect a mutual response for every one of your childish quips, you are going to be sadly mistaken about your future partners. Love is not about what the other person says or does - it's all about what YOU say and do!
Good luck with that!

munkeroos

So, you're not official - and you knowingly, really early, said I love you - and now you don't want to talk to him?? That's not love.

Love isn't conditional on them loving you back, if it's real love. Especially if you're ready to leave and not talk to him the next day.

Someday this guy might love you for real, even if he never says it for a long time, but he'll show you in 101 ways every day. The guys obviously got hang ups about the L word.

Or maybe he was just being nice to you and didn't want to just say he doesn't love you yet. Who knows. But it's pretty unfair to want to leave someone because they're not quite at the same spot you are.

LindaR

Coming from the other side of it I will tell you that for some people it is hard to get those words out of their mouth.I was one such person.Even if I really wanted to say them,I couldn't.I would just kind of choke on them for some reason.I overcame that.Don't think for one minute that just because he can't say the words that he doesn't actually feel that way.That is not always the case.He probably has some sort of insecurity issue and is afraid to say,"I love you" to anyone,by the way you put it in your question.It's not personally about you if he can't say it to anyone.Give him some time before you get rid of him.As I said,I overcame that problem,and maybe he'll be able to as well.

ouragon

I dated a man once who didn't like to kiss. It didn't seem like a big deal, until I realized it was.

This is one of our cultural norms, to say I love you, though I'm not sure how you love someone you've never met. If he doesn't engage in one of our cultural norms. you won't be happy with him.

The no kissing man turned out to be a sociopathic, alcoholic, abuser. He was broken in countless ways. I wish I'd paid attention to the first signs.

Also, it seems you told this man you love him to elicit a particular response from him, then when you didn't get it you were 'hurt." That's not very mature.

INTERNET HATE MACHINE XXXV

He sounds like an emofag.

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