I want to leave my husband...?

If you've seen Juanâ„¢

Check out battered women's shelters in the area. Give them a call. They help women like you ALL the time. They'll know what to do.
Good Luck,
Juan

riece2

You have to find a way out. That sounds like a VERY unhealthy relationship. Find someone more qualified to ask, not Yahoo. You need to get away from him and preferably go somewhere he can't find you.

DreamOutLoud

I don't believe in divorce unless the spouse has become physically and mentally abusive or unstable. In your case I feel that for you your newborns safety Divorce might be an option...Im sorry. I'm sorry that you get treated so badly, you dont deserve that.

midniqhtblue

You can go to a women's shelter and get a restraining order on him. You do have options. Here's a link to the National Domestic Violence Hotline: http://www.ndvh.org/
Call the number and they'll be able to tell you what you need to do to get away. I think this would be the most helpful considering your financial situation. Also, don't be afraid to call your local police. They can help you too.

Edit: I was reading on about people giving you tips on how to leave. I agree with most. So after you make the necessary calls and decide you need a quick escape, recruit those close friends and your mom to help you pack. You can be out in a few hours. Start making a list of the things that you definitely need to bring with you.

bradley w

seek professional help. this is matter that needs more help instead of people off yahoo answers

missie x

follow your heart and dreams don'tt let him destroy you. dont worry about stayonf for your child he/she is still young it wont wreck their heart

Megan M

Get out of that relationship!
Im worried for you, that isnt good for you baby, growing up in an abusive relationship! Maybe just go live with a friend of relative, dont tell him where your going though, dont answer his calls, texts, even threats. Take them to the poilce!
Im more worried about the poor child.
Good luck though.

BoredinVA

I was in the same exact situation except I had a 4yr old, 2 yr old and 5 month old. I was miserable. I hated my life. I hated waking up in the morning. I was a stay at home mom with no money. I was lucky because the a$$ decided to have an affair and walk out on us. As a result I was evicted and had to move in with my Dad. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. The only thing I would change when I look back is me not leaving. I'm disappointed that I didn't have the courage to leave myself. It took him leaving for me to find myself again.

If you can stay with your Mom for a few months or even a friend, do it! You'll obviously have to swallow some pride, but it is very worth it!! You're life would be soo much better and you'd have so much respect for yourself for having the strength to leave.

Best of luck!

Ashy

The best thing for you to do for yourself and your baby is to leave the marriage. Divorce him if you are unhappy and if he is not treating you well. If you don't do it now you will never be happy with him if he is not willing to change. You can also file a restraining order against him if he is threatening to harm you. I would file a complaint with the police department so that it is on record. I would also try and find a good lawyer who can help. If you have a close family member or relative willing to help you and your baby then you could move in with them. Good luck!

Bethany M

Oh hunny, i know how u feel. well actually no i don't but my friend had a similar problem earlier this year. If u really really h8 it just slowly but surely pack ur bags so he doesn't notice but u r ready to leave when he is at work. U need to get as far away as poss. Leave a note and watever u o dont give him any details wat so ever.
Only do this if u h8 his guts and never want to see himagain though.
Baring in mind a talk sometimes makes a difference

Karin

If he is physically hurting you, leave now and go stay with a friend or a family member. When you divorce he will have to give you money...leave now. You deserve someone who appreciates you and you will find that. God has the perfect match for everyone.

wishingstar840

There are all kinds of shelters for abused women where he cant get to you. Also just because he says he is going to make you miserable does not mean that is fact. Most of the things he says are not correct so don't let that hold you back. Go stay with your mother if you can and if he trys anything call the police. If you don't feel safe enough with the police I would buy a gun keep the bullets out of it and put it somewhere far away from where the baby plays or goes. And when this is all over get rid of it.

Brad

Start squirreling away some money. Lie about what you spend and save the money. Hide it. Tell your mom what you are going to do. She will help you. Plan on a place to stay, probably with your mom. She will be your best friend at a time like this. Plan on what to take when you leave. Be organized. Plan it all out. Then just LEAVE!

sheena m

save up some money for a while and get out while hes at work, if hes abusive he could hurt your child as well. its best that you get out before the baby gets old enough to know what going on. im sure you could find someone better, someone who take care of you and your baby.
good luck and make a decision that's going to benefit that baby.

~*Honest Blunt Opinioner*~

just leave anyway. you need to think about your child, he says he regrets you and the kid, so why would he care if you leave? just LEAVE!! order a restraining order if you're scared. get some divorce papers ready. otherwise stay in an unhealthy relationship and continue to be scared.

Makilee S

well yahoo is not a good place to ask this ?. but my parents aqre divorced and now can barley talk on the phone with out fighting but im so glad that they got divorced. i remember as a little girl watching them fight and im a much happier kid knowing that i will never have to go through that again. if you do decide to get divorced make it quick so the child doesnt have to go through the pain of them think that is was there fualt!

Mi$$.Confu$ed?

l take the baby and go stay at a friends house and say your out shopping . dont tell him where u r and call him from ur friends house and tell him its over

CrazyÂ¬OhÂ¬Yer!

know that your mother will be there for you-so you'll never be alone. But at the end of the day you need to do whats best for you and your son. Is it so good that the poor child has to grow up hearing & seeing all of this-no. If he doesnt value you, why stay. Hes a bully and if I were you, I would leave him. It maybe tough but at the end of the day, do you want to stay with someone who bullies you? Leave and dont let him blly you no more. Why dont you move with your mother for a little while. Good luck and contact me if you need anymore help- your deserve more then him xx

Jules or Juliet

You need to tell your close friends for help. You need some solid back up besides your mom. I'm sorry you're going through this (offers hug) but I don't know what else to tell you. Sorry...

carl c67

of course u will get through it 1 u ave the suppotr of your mother n im sure ur friends will rally round u as well wats the point in staying with this idiot if hes abusive to u if he makes ur life hard 4 u get a restraing order on him please please leave its 4 u n ur childs best intrest

Sour

Contact a divorce lawyer. He knows you have no self confidence so he uses that to scare you into staying with him. He's lying to you - as long as you're not cheating on him, not doing drugs, and you're not an alcoholic then you can easily take him for every dime.

Lawyers will work with you on the payment thing.

Zo0o0oZeeee

Leave him, you don't have be miserable the rest of your life by staying with him plus it's better for your son in the future.. he won't be happy either if his parents aren't and they're together for no reason

Dee

The best thing to do is go to an attorney. Call around most have free consultation. Tell them the situation and see what your options are. Not sure where you are located, but most cities have a crisis center. Try talking to them, sometimes they can help you leave. Start documenting everything, times, dates, and what is happening. Keep in safe place. Best of luck to you.

canajen

You NEED to leave. But you need to understand that it will get a lot worse for a couple of months until it gets better. Once its better, you won't beleive that you were considering staying.

Here is the major issue, the majority of women in your situation finally get the guts upt to leave, but they can't handle the month or two that are even worse before it gets so much better. It will be one of the hardest things you'll ever do. To make matters worse, your husband will either insult you until you feel absolutely worthless or try to get you back (or both).

In a moment of weakness, when you're thinking 'how can I do this alone?' and 'this is just too hard for me to do!', you will psychologically try to convince yourself that the best option will be to go back to your husband. It is the same thing that you see when a person who quits smoking says 'I need to smoke this cigarette because I'm stressed, it doesn't mean I'll start smoking again'.

A couple of tips to help you get through it:
-Keep yourself busy. Go out with girlfriends and talk a lot on the phone when you're at home
-Try to find someone to babysit while you're going through your relationship 'withdrawal' symptoms. A couple of hours alone will make a world of difference and might give you the strength you need
- Take a new class. Whatever interests you but you've never done, like bellydancing, pottery, salsa dancing, sushi making etc.
- Do not speak with your ex until you start to feel a lot better, but even then, don't let yourself become involved. Cutting off all phone communications for two-six weeks is needed, otherwise your moments of weakness could happen at the same time as he calls, which will be disasterous.
-Remember, you have a choice of two options. 1- Leave him now and feel all of the pain very intensely but for a short period of time (1-6 months) 2- Fall into the routine of 'Leave him and get back together and the leave him and the get back together' which will not be as painful but because it will be spread over a couple of years, it will be a huge amount more pain than in option 1.

Good luck!

kathyw

Talk to your pastor. Confidentially.

J D

u have to leave...if ur scared..wait til he leaves to work and leave...if u cant go with family and friends go to a womens shelter..they will help u find a place to live, give u the support u need. That's no way to live, he tells u those things to mess with ur self esteem, to keep u there, thinking u can never leave. Once u leave, after a while, u will get that garbage outta ur head and see that hes the loser...u will be better off and it will b the best thing u have ever done. I really hope it works out for you and your baby. U dont want ur baby in a relationship like that...

chloepowell23

just leave him and find some one els befor ur baby gets old enoth to remember him just walk away dont wory bout ur stuff get out go to ur parents and rebuild your life

phattybiggums

Where ever you are call the abuse hot line for that area. They will tell you what steps to take with or with out money. You can leave and he will never know where you are. But you will have to take the first steps to free yourself, which is getting the information. Start today you could be out by the end of the week.

mellishw

Go quietly to a women's shelter! Take your baby and get out! Call 911 and do not say anything. the police will pick up you and your baby. You both will be safe.

goodgal30

I also am unhappy and at this very moment trying to decide what to do we also have a child together. you need to do whatever is best for your child the younger they are the less affected they will be. maybe you could stay with a friend for a little while while you get your finances figured out.

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