I was a virgin but my wife wasn't? Pls read carefully, I am in lot of pain and answer my every doubt.?

Bumper <3

hey divorce her,,,,start a new life somewhere farway were no one knows u and u can start all over...

If you donâ€™t want a crazy women then look for her in those small towns â€¦because city girls are much more crazier and more liars than the small town gurls

******* Starlisha *******

I think you need to be happy with yourself, and not care about what others think. If you love her and she loves you, that's all that should matter. My husband was a virgin and I wasn't. We are still happily married after 18 years.

Cherryl

wow seriously, get over it dude, it really isnt that bad, if you feel suicidal over something so insignificant then please seek mental help, for your own sake, it also sounds like you have paranoia judging by what you said about a story you read on the news.

She made a mistake, she tried to fix it. Thats all she can do, the rest is up to you, forgive and forget.

Mr. Morality Â©

My wife busted her hymen while fishing for Opilio Crab in the Bering Sea. Don't worry my friend, you'll get over it in time.

Just Me

I don't see why it's such a big issue. If she went through the surgery for you it proves her love. Move on and be happy you have her.

cek

her past is her past and i think you should let that go. just bc she had a past with another man does not mean that she doesn't love you. my husband told me something about his past that made me sick, but the fact is that it was his past, it can't be changed now and we still love eachother just as much. i think you should talk to your wife about how you are feeling. maybe she can make yoou feel a lot better about things. good luck to you

Max c

I think your wife is good because she has told you the truth.

Probably the problem is that you are very possessive, as a husband as to be. Calm yourself, keep away from that guy you urself and ur wife. I think that, that man attacked you mentally and won the company deal.

Smooth roads never make best drivers . God loves you, he won't let u down in you any situation.

Common Sense

Get over it an treat your wife like a loving husband.

likittyslit

i know this guy who's wife convinced him she broke her hymen deep sea fishing in the bering sea...

makl3878

First and foremost if you are suicidal, you NEED to talk to a professional. Not only for the sake of your sanity, but that of your wife. You know that if she knew your torment right now she is going to hurt. And she probably already is knowing you know that messed up. Your mental state is just as important to her as her own. When you are sad... so is she. If you died...knowing that is might be because of her... that would kill her too.

It is very admirable that you saved yourself for your wife. That is something that VERY few men do, if at all. Don't feel like a fool. You didn't make the mistake. Understand that that is between you and your wife and God. It was a gift you gave her. and it is the best one you can give. Yes your wife did not do the same. But she has come clean to you because she wants to be forgiven because she loves you. She did it because she loves you. Marriage is not easy. It takes more work than anything else. It is tough, but rewarding at the same time. You married her because of who she is, what she represents. But she is still human. She should be allowed to make mistakes. As I'm sure you will make them too. And if you do, would you expect your wife to forgive you and love you even through your mistakes? And you should forgive her if she is sorry for them.

As far as her ex. Some people thrive on making others uncomfortable and or angry. Don't let him get to you. Because then he wins. If he says things like that to upset you, take it as a compliment, because he lost what you get to keep for the rest of your life. and you are a better man for it.

I know you think you don't care about love right now because you are hurting. That is completely natural. You can't deal with this on your own, and you shouldn't have to. Talk to her. If you think an argument might ensue, then try this...hold her hand or have some bodily contact. That keeps tempers from flaring, and maintains that the other can feel what you are going through, and though you may be angry... It shows you don't want to be angry. Please remember that you can't change what has happened. You need to accept it, and learn from it, and move on TOGETHER. and you will be ok.

With finances, I too have felt the financial pull on my wallet. If you love your job, stick to it. try and let stressful things roll off your back. If you are forced to work with her ex... maybe try and look for the same type of work through another company to ease you mind, and try your hardest not to let home life interfere with your work. Meditation might work to ease some of your stress. So does prayer.

True love is not fairy tale. But what you don't see in the movies is the work that goes with it. The first year of marriage is a tough one. But you can do it. Trust her. Love her. Communicate with her... and you both will win, because you are a team. Even when one is down. The other needs to be the rock. Let her be the rock for you. She can't if you won't let her.

I pray and wish you success in your marriage. I truly believe that you are a catch. I'm sure your wife thinks so too. That is one of the reasons she married you.

Taylor C

she is your wife and you should talk to her. iisnt that what married couples do?
today not many people are virgins. and we live in a more
accepting lifestyle.
but as for her ex saying that... it was wrong of him to hit you
below the belt but you should just shrug it off.
talk to your wife let her comfort you
because if you're not talking to her then your prettyy much in this alone.

just_c0wb0y

listen bro , i admire your faith and also waiting for the one , but you cannot let this tear you apart , people have pasts , there are many couples who have been with other people before , and they have been married and deeply in love for years , just because she had someone before you does not mean that you are not the love of her life , im sure she is in pain also ,but guess what , who is she with now , as far as this other guy , yes you did lose it at a bad time and place , you should have simply said , (well i guess she did not feel the same about you in bed because she now sleeps in mine ) it is not we on yahoo who need to give you comfort and understanding at this time , it your wife you need to turn to . just remember she married you , not him , you have to let her past go before it destroys both you and your marriage ,

lmao , the poster below me , thats what im talking about , humor , this situation needs something to defuse it lol , loved it !

Wim Wam Woozle

What is the problem? Yes, she lied, but she probably lied because she didn't want to hurt your feelings. She was thinking of you. Just because she was not a virgin when you married doesn't mean she does not truly love you now. You need to focus on the present--she loves you NOW and that will not change.

Pheobe Xanthers

I am married and neither my husband or I were virgins. But we do love each other and we have a beautiful son together now. We both have pasts and people in them but they're in the past, if any of those had been right then we would still be with those people and not with each other. If she says she loves you then I wouldn't worry about her having a past, sometimes first loves end up being the one and sometimes people make mistakes. I personally have made mistakes. I don't ever wish I was with my first, but I am still friends with him, but that's all we were. I wouldn't erase it or change it, but I don't love him. I love my husband. If the fact she wasn't a virgin before you married her is your biggest problem I would be soooo happy, my husband has A LOT more issues that I have to deal with. I would suggest forgiving her, not everyone is perfect, your mistakes make you who you are whether you wish things had been different or you make peace with the past. Be happy you found someone, marriages aren't easy and they take work, people surprise you, sometimes you have to give and take and forgive and forget, If she was currently sleeping with someone else then I would say you have a problem. Life is too short to be angry over the past, try to move on and love your wife :)

joline v

I was heartbroken when I read this and truly feel for your pain. Though I lost my virginity without marriage...I understand the beautiful significance in the gesture. Your wife is very self conscience from what I can tell and I can tell by the fact that she went to great lanks to regain her virginity in order to be with you. Would you have married her if she was not a virgin? Would you have continued seeing her the same? That is most likely the question she asked herself many times and most likely what drove her to lie. Though no explanation or suggestion will help cure the pain you feel. You must understand from her stand point rather than your own. You will never understand her without seeing it her way through her mentality. Overall, god always allows the heart to forgive so know you have the opportunity to forgive her for this and love her. Virginity should not define the love you have for her when you said I do nor when she said those vows. So don't allow it to destroy the one thing in life your suppose to be fighting for. We all have past we wish we can erase...however we can only move forward and let the past make us stronger.

sini

i know that i'm not that old enough to speak about all this but i believe u should trust ur wife(abt lovin u).and u should forgive her for her past and start a new relation wid her once again.as she is ur wife tell her frankly abt all ur problems that u r facing bcoz of her & i believe that guy was her past &u r her present & future.so trust her....everything will b alright...............

frenchieâ„¢

I know that having a virgin wife was very important to you. I understand that because I am a virgin as well, but I gave up about having a virgin hubby because I think its the love that counts. Would you rather marry someone because she is a virgin or because you love her? I do understand and realize that she lied to you, but she IS your wife. As far as you holding back what is happening in your life, that is bad. She is your wife and she should know what is going on.

sabah

I am not like your wife at. I think you feel betrayed by your wife. If my husband was not a virgin I would have left him, but luckily we come from similar backgrounds and fear the wrath of GOD concerning these matters. Trust is essential in a relationship. Even though you claim to be keeping your problems to yourself your wife must know how you feel. It is better to leave her and get married to a girl you can trust. If you stay with her you will need to forgive her and not raise this up again.

essha

hi guy,

just get over it...... you love ur wife n she loves you back...... all that matters is she is loyal to you...... its not a big issue, in this modern world its normal for a guy n a girl to loose virginity b4 marriage....maybe wit her ex she hv decided to marry him, thats y she had relation wit him, n may be later after that she found out their relation is not going to work out, so she left him..... this is called the flow of life......start a new life like u hv just married ok....gd luck

<3

oh, dude. you need help. you can't keep all of this bottled up; you need to tell someone and not random people online. maybe you and your wife should go to therapy.
and the hymen reconstuction... my god, that's so horrible. it sounds like she did it because she didn't want you to be disappointed in her because she loves you... but at the same time that's such a lie, i think it's almost ground for annulment. i mean, your relationship started with a lie. but at the same time, don't regret waiting for her, if that's your religious belief that that's the right thing to do.
dude, you and your wife have really serious issues. i think you should go to marriage counseling, otherwise there's going to be a day when you can't keep it bottled it up anymore and you lose it. and then who knows what'll happen? this isn't healthy..
also, why do you lie to your wife? lying on either side about Anything isn't good for a relationship. if you're so hurt and suicidal, share with her. if you can't do that, then at least tell someone who can professionally give you advice, aka a therapist

deepi

if she married u to please them then it wuznt her choice and she doesnt love u...i thnk u shud talk 2 her and if it doesnt work out divorce her....i wud never marry a guy for my parents....and how long hav u been married?? but u shudn try to make her jealous by saying u cud hav slept with women who r MUCH MUCh more better luking than her...just try to talk 2 her and if it doesnt work out......divorce....but honestly i dnt believe in love anymore! anyawyz gud luck and keep ur job

Horse Up

Sounds like your just not happy with her to began with and after finding this out it just threw you off the horse. But your solution is very simple.....
Accept it, and move on with your marriage.
Or shut up stop whining, and dump her.
That simple!

shanandeps

hi friend i can really understand your situation,see past s past,u cant do anything,really u think what can u do now on knowing about her past? u dont compare urself with others,see when we are confused, some things will happen around us relating to our situation it has both positive and negative,but our human mind will look deeply in to the negative things.so that newspaper incident s like that?
u r educated dont u know that today's newspaper headlines r just to catch the readers attention.

forgive her,no one s perfect in the world,if she has contact with him now its not fair.so.first u talk to her,if u r calm u cant do anything,first u tel ur business problem to her and see her her reaction if she really loves you she will understand u surely.

ALL THE BEST,NOTHING WORSE WILL HAPPEN FOR YOUR GOOD HEART.
I PRAY TO GOD FOR YOUR GOOD.

loving

The only problem is that she wasn't completely honest with you. She was afraid that you wouldn't want to marry her. The comment that her ex made, was completely inappropriate and I don't blame you for losing it. But I think that you should not pay much attention to him. Also, I think you should express all your emotions to your wife. Don't keep anything from her. Let it all out. She did wrong by fooling you, but I'm sure she didn't do it to fool you, but because she loves you so much. Give her a chance and let her explain all the details.

First of all, if you're feeling suicidal and acting out in destructive ways, please, please, please get help from a more qualified source than Yahoo!Answers. You can worry about people judging you later; the important thing right now is to take care of your mental health.

Secondly (and the professional you go see will probably be able to assist you with this if you can't do it on your own), you need to stop projecting your relationship with your wife onto what she had with her ex. Sometimes "first love" turns out to be a lust-fueled mistake that one or both of the people involved have absolutely no desire to revisit. I don't condone her hiding the truth from you, but the fact that she went to such extreme lengths to erase this part of her past supports her claim that she doesn't view it with any sentimental attachment. Once you're in a better place emotionally, the two of you need to work together to rebuild your trust.

pictureshygirl

You feel betrayed and in a sense you were. You were fooled into thinking she was a virgin when she was not. From what you wrote it sounds as if marrying a virgin meant a lot to you and you lived your life by being a virgin yourself to fulfil your dream. I will not undermine your dream of having a virgin wife because I know how much you had put into this and can imagine how fooled you feel. So to try my best to answer your questions. . I am sure your wife was pressured by her culture and parents to get that operation. Now you feel cheated, as if in your eyes your wife is now less valuable. In many cultures it is accepted to marry a woman who has had prior relationships with a man. It is how you were raised to believe that makes you now devalue your wife. You need to work through this and get into therapy to help you decide how to handle this. As for the comments made by that other man regarding your wife being good in bed, I believe was only said due to anger and his goal was to hurt you. Seek help either by a religious leader or a counselor to help guide you through this very difficult time. Good luck to you!

Spindrift

You are a total basket case and for her sake and yours get a divorce. You are so full of self pity is is disgusting and what she did before you is none of your business and few women would even go out with a guy who is a virgin, ugh. You are totally out of control and you need serious psychiatric help, there is no way you should even be dating women let alone marrying one. You are VERY unstable and you absolutely have to get therapy before you do anything else, you are a walking time bomb.
You will not find many women who are virgins just so you are aware and if you continue to expect that you will never marry and frankly, as you are now, you need to be alone until you can get some control over your life and your emotions.

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