I was just told to leave by my husband what do I do?

Butterfly

i have a friend who is exactly in your situation. Listen.....you should get out and take your child with you. he's a ba$tard straight out. i'm not sure how long you've been at your job, but go and have a meeting with your boss....tell them what's happening and tell them you would really appreciate a raise and u will work harder...cry if you have to....anyway, be strong. once you get that raise....i'm sure you have a friend or two. go to a friends house and stay there for a while. when you husbands at work, take the day off and go to your appt. gather whatever you want....sign up for a credit card under your name, and go ahead a rent your own apartment. WITHOUT him, you will only be spending money on yourself and your child.....keep all the bills with him. so you'll only have an appt to take care of and food. in time, u will become a stronger woman and move on with your life...no matter what he does, don't ever go back to him, he's a selfish, irresponsible a$$hole....good luck

tw9111

Girl - it is a sneak plan. God knows that I have done it for myself and my sister. Make like all is good. Don't argue with his ***. Then one day, when he is out for long time - get your girls and get your **** and leave his ***. Pawn the good stuff and get a new begning for you and your child. If he cared, then he would be aware of how he is treating you. Don't forget the lovely numbers of 911 when leaving. You need a down home girl to be your back bone..

JoeH

This is obviously a very serious question and you are in a serious situation.

A friend of mine was dumped and forced to move out, find her own place, and furnish it -- all on her own and with no warning. She was able to get a good deal from an apartment complex by lamenting her situation. It may not work for everyone but if you are in dire straits I think you'll be impressed with the generosity of strangers.

Because you have a full time job you will not be automatically turned away from leasing companies. You should be able to find a decent place without much more than a day or two of looking. Call an apartment locating service for help. If your credit rating isn't too bad you may be able to talk your way into a deal that allows you to move in immediately without a significant deposit.

Since you have a child you may be eligible for some financial assistance from local or state government or local charities. Call your state's department of human services and tell your story. Then call the local United Way and they will direct you to organizations that may be able to help.

Also, since you're legally married your husband can't simply abandon you to the streets. Get a lawyer. Again, you'll be surprised how willing people are to help. You will be entitled to alimony, child support and other benefits from your husband.

If you have any friends that you trust now is the time to call in any favors. I know you will be going through a horribly stressful and emotional time and anyone who can help you with moral (hugs), physical (help with moving) or financial (money) support will be indispensible.

Also remember -- and this is important -- that the world cannot conquer you! You have what it takes to survive and you will -- there is no other option.

I'll be thinking about you.

NuckinFutz

by calling legal aide and getting some legal advice and support

Malissa Z

first of all I want to say that I am truly sorry for all that you and your child are going through at this time. You have already been through an emotionaly draining relationship, and now you are left to fend for the welfare of his and your child alone. The answer I can give you is not much, but I felt compelled to answer. There are many places you can find help. First turn to your friends, you will need a support group if you are going to stay strong for youself and your child. If you do not have any close friends, you can call or visit a womans shelter. I know it sounds drastic, but they can offer information on housing and items that you will need. Also it is a good place to find the support if you do not have anywhere else to turn. Next, you can try the county or state, they have options for you as far as extremely affordable child care, housing, housewares etc. Also look inside youself for strength, you really need it at this time, and I know you may not feel that you have any left after the long battle you have just gone through(your relationship) but you will be amaized at the strength you will find if you look. Finally, look to your child when you need the extra umph to keep you going. Every smile, laugh, and excited look from your child will help you realize what you are fighting for and you will be able to keep going. I wish you the best of luck and hope that my answer has given you some hope.

lauren

wow, i'm only 17 so i can't really help, but i'm going to pray for you and hope that your husband rots in hell!!!! what kind of person does that to his wife???

lizvrooman

try shelters if you are really bad off and second had stores... try talking to some sort of government that can help you with finances and housing

snowbody

You can get stuff at Goodwill, or see if anyone will loan you stuff. You can always buy a blow up bed, I think they are about $25. Just be patient and it will all work out. I was in similar situation 2 years ago and can finally support myself and my kids on my own.

McDreamy

No spouse in this United States can dissolve a marriage just by saying so. So the first thing to do is stay put. He can leave if he wants. Right now that is not an option for you.

You have to stand by your rights and the baby's rights. Key words: social services, legal aid, family court. Although he may not have much now, there is a remote possibility he might someday. So current and potential incomes need to be addressed in any divorce settlements. Divorce may sound like a dirty word right now but from your narrative, chances are good you'd be celebrating it with gusto someday. Good luck!

Ontheotherhand

I suggest that you stay. Make him or Mom evict you. That will give you time. Save every dime of your pay to get money for a place of your own. Then, go to Friend of the Court, in your local county, and file for child support. As for furnishings, try good will or St. Vincent's, or any church. Pastors can provide info and help.

daniekrunk

slap him accross the face! call financial support or insurance

Jecht

divorce lawyer be the first place to go. he can file all the paper work to freeze the checking accounts and stuff. also have him to file custody paper work for the child. then take him to the cleaners and enjoy.

see if you can crash with a friend untill you can get on your feet to get an apt of your own.

Kacky

My ex husband told me to leave at 4AM. I went to work at that time anyway so I took my child to daycare and asked for the morning off. Then I borrowed a truck and took my stuff. I was moved into my new apartment by 11 and back to my job by noon. I don't know what to do about the money, I would never have put myself in a position not be able to get at some money. If he really wants you to leave, he'll give you some money. If he doesn't, leave anyway the first time you get any money, unless you enjoy this drama. Because it won't ever stop.

If you haven't cried Wolf a lot, people will help you.

.

goodolelady

Wow you sound like me in my second marriage... yes, go to some sort of women's shelter.. even though you're not battered they should be able to turn you on to services available to you.. and put you in touch with legal aid. You need to get away from that man, he's a user and the lawyer can at least assign him half the debts. You may want to cancel your cards he may have an extra one of, right away. Cut him off where it hurts... no pun intended!

bettys

I would tell him to get his butt out, that I had to have a place for our daughter to live.Then tomorrow I would see an attorney, if I couldn't afford one, go to legal services they will furnish you one. If he took your savings, tell the attorney, so that can be added in. Evidently, something has been said because you said you knew this day would come. I will say, if his mother put you and the child out. she doesn't love her grandchild. The mom could take care of the noise, if she owns the apartments.So good luck.

Asuka S

Leave You dont need someone like that Find help by looking in the phonebook for a divorce attorney. PLEASE just leave before anything gets worse I don't want someone getting hurt

meme

*** my ex used to always say that as a bluff. i ended up doin it when i was ready to and never looked back. it's awful tho' knowing u don't have the resources to go anywhere. it's a total control thing on their behalf. i'm hoping he's not serious for your sake, b/c that'd be so hard. if he does relent tho' and u do get to stay my advice to u is to get yourself ready so if he DOES try it again u can go and not look back.

~just_jd~

call your local salvation army. they are suppose to always help those in need. they have the stores that will gift you used items for your new place that i hope you are working towards now. because no woman needs to be told to get out of her own home. especially with a child. tell him to leave until you get the ball rolling.

no family? how about friends?

thisbrit

If this man is a drinker and could be an alcoholic, go to the Alanon meetings (same 12 steps as AA, but the meetings are for the spouses/children/adult children of alcoholics). the meetings are very very helpful so you find out what to do - not to get the person to stop drinking, but so you learn how to look after YOURSELF.

Good luck

avalonspriestess

First go to the social services. They may be able to help with cash for a new place to live or put you in touch with others that can help like Salvation Army or Goodwill. If you belong to a church ask for their help. Legally he can not make you leave if you are married and have kids together, until he files for a divorce or protective order. Which by the way you could do first and then he would have to leave not you. Best wishes.

Diana D

When you get your own place check out this web site.

www.freecycle.org

it is people giving and getting free stuff they don't want or need anymore.

nobodysfool

I'd go for the sneak plan but maybe you should try some legal advise first. You can also write to me if you want to talk to someone or if you want to runaway to sunny Mexico!!. ( no seriously, you can write if you want.).

boosha

God, friends, Salvation Army. Don't know about the TV that's a considered fringe benefits. You can fiind out where local churches are that distribute food and a lot of those people in line can help you a lot, not counting the church personnel who are working. Now, hold your head up take control of what you can even if its making a list of your assets, now I no you have three, God, .yourself and your child. You can do this, but it's going to be very hard work. Good Luck and God Bless

Boriq D

I would start by finding out what is in your community in regards to housing assistance, Find local assistance such as housing, case management by a local non-profit who can assist you finding housing and link you to other local providers who can assist you in obtaining some type of affordable housing. Sadly enough most of this depends on where you live and what is available to you. I live in the city most women in the city where I live go to a Shelter due to how difficult it is to obtain housing on such notice. Basically reach out speak and find out whas out there most places are willing to lead you to other numbers which can be of some type of link to a housing possibility.

if you pay rent there and pay utilities etc... you have as much right as he does, no matter who owns the property. he needs to move! You may want to seek legal opinion and contact local city hall to find out about your rights as a tenant in your city etc...

spud

Your name answers the question.

vannili

. Maybe he is upset too about the noise in the apartment,that he goes out so often. Be civil to him,argumentation won't solve the problems, If you think the marriage is not savable,then, plan your moves.Check out how can you take him in to legal actions.

Hello Dolly

God Bless You at this difficult time!

As long as he is not physically hurting you or hurting your child, I wouldn't leave quite yet. I'd get my plan of action together, figure out your next move, or your next series of moves. Take a deep breath and start making some phone calls. You must have friends who could be called at a moment's notice to help you. Even people you don't think are all that close, but could be, may step up to the plate and help you. Contact your church. There are organizations out there to help women like you make a new start. Seriously. You're not the first one to go through this, nor will you be the last (unfortunately).

But if he forces you to go, and you don't have anywhere to turn, go to a women's shelter. TAKE YOUR CHILD WITH YOU!! Even a call to your local police department can steer you in the right direction. There is NO shame in doing this. You have to protect yourself and your child. You need to get yourself a lawyer. If you can't afford one, contact the court directly and child support services. They can help you get the money your child needs. The important things are your safety, a roof over your heads, food to eat and clothes on your back. Also, you may be able to sue for alimony. I would take this suggestion seriously. He may think twice about forcing you out but it's best for you in the long run, especially if you two can't get along. He sounds like a real loser, I'm sorry to say.

Furniture, tv's, dishes, bedding...these things can all be purchased or even acquired free. The women's shelter will direct you in the direction you need to take. Heed their advice.

My best to you.

zether

start with friends

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