I won't wait around for him, what is it he wants from me?!!?

I have been going out with this guy for two weeks, he told me since day 1 , he sees we should start as friends then best friends then things can escalate. then all of a sudden he told me he will take a long long time to commit and there are no guarantees. My response to him was very blunt : " Mr I am more than ready for a relationship and a commitment and I want someone who is equally ready" and i backed off..

he has been calling me ever since , and i have avoided his calls.. I am 40 divorced and he is 49 divorced both of us has kids and i can't afford to waste time, effort and emotions on someone like that , why won't he just leave me alone , what is it he wants really?
Additional Details
forgot to say , that i told him i do also need lots of time to understand and trust a partner before i commit but that is a totaly different story from what he was saying, cause i am ready and my heart is open but he is not ...

Rocker Wife

I think you 100% did the right thing. BRAVO to you. A relationship won't work if you're not on the same page. Guys like that will string along forever and have you thinking that any minute now he'll commit.

If he's not ready, he's not ready. Let him go string someone else along.

He could be calling you because he thinks he can still manipulate you into being with him as "friends" or maybe he's had a change of heart and wants to give things a try. You could hear what he has to say, but if it's the same old story, then you know you have to move on.

Good luck!

Jared

All you have is time. You've already had kids and probably aren't looking for more. From what I'm reading, both of you want the same thing but have slightly different points of view about how to get it. I think you don't want to get married tomorrow and want to get to know someone first, same as him. He just wants to get to know you a bit more before taking it further.

If you feel as though you won't wait a long time for him, then move on. Love the life you have and find someone who's willing to step into it, not for someone to complete it. That's up to you.

Gia

Don't wait. i bet there is a good man that wants a good woman that is not into playing highschool games. You deserve better. At our ages we want commitment and not 10 years of games.

Jim

He finds the challenge of you exciting. But he told you how he wants to deal with things - no commitments. You want a relationship and a commitment. You made it clear to him. You gave him the right answer. Now let him go. He should learn his lesson from it. Find someone else who is ready to commit like you are.

sunshine11

He most likely wants laid (but in a round about sense). Forget him, tell him to stop the harassing phone calls and try finding a decent man with your sensibilities. He's one of those professional game players.

Krisco

You go girl!!
That is AWESOME that you told him straight up what you want! I admire that.
From an outsider's pov, I'd say you got your point across and either
1. He wants to apologize and leave it alone or
2. He wants to take you up on that offer

Amarante

Move on.

JodiBaby

Sounds like he is playing games. He is still on the hunt and once it seemed like he had you he lost interest. By you being blunt and backing off made him realize he hadn't caught you yet so now he is back on the hunt.
If i were you I would turn and run, if hes playing games with you like this already just think how bad it would be if you had your emotions invested.

Your kidding, right? Two weeks?
Both of you have come out of broken marriages and you want instant commitment?
Maybe you are willing dive head long into another instant committed relationship mistake after two weeks - but maybe he is not. I see absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to make another mistake - but instead to take some time to make sure that you are both right for each other.

Lovely

Then I don't think you should waste any more time with him. You've been divorced, so you know you don't want to be hurt again. Or strung along for something that may or may not happen. He just doesn't sound like he's right for you, and I think you deserve better than that.

Tell him to quit calling or you will file harassment charges.

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