If I am 17 years senior to my girlfriend, is that too large of a gap? Or I am worried about nothing?

JRS

Wow almost engaged and she doesn't know your true age ... now that's some sh!t !

I don't think the age matters I think you lying for so long is the problem !

As long as she loves you and you can keep up with her then you should be fine !

thnos

Ok this is strange...Your situation resembles mine a lot...I am in a similar situation....He is older than me 17yrs and i dont know his true age...He never tells me.....I dont know him for many yrs only 2 and i like the way he looks....Too me it dont matter the age difference!!!! I like him because he balances me in every day life and i look forward to talk with him about everything. I dont hide from him, i cant lie to him and when we fight it hurts us both like mad....we cant stay angry to each other more than a day....I can open my self to him and he to me and the strangest thing is that i dont care of the outcome. We are both forgiving and we always discuss everything...There are times when he palys secretive and i really dont like him for that BUT i tell him directly to stop it. The best thing ever is that although the age gap he listens to me and he cares about me....Or that is what he shows to me...some times i cant figure him out, and then i say its the age gap between us and just let it go.....Thats all i wanted to say....One is for sure, i dont know what i will do if i ever loose him....He has my heart and i cant live without him.....hope that answered your question....

Joy

If you feel you have to hide it, you look like you are doing something wrong... LOVE HAS NO AGE LIMIT If its no big deal to you and its no big deal to her then its no big deal but you dont have the right to make that decission for her. Tell her

don Quijote

you must be faire, you must tell about your age, tell now!

cowboy

Don't worry like you said if she truly loves you then you have nothing to worry about. Go by your gut ,Does she love you?

lhee

i know someone whose age gap is even 20 years and their marriage work well. they recently had their first baby. and i can see that they are both happy,
don't worry much about it. age does'nt matter. if she truly loves you she will take you no matter how old you are. it's love that matter most. if she can't accept you because of your age then she does'nt love you that much. that means, you are not meant for each other. just my thoughts.

mrsjatice

This may sound gross and disturbing, but is she looking for a husband or a father figure...i know yousaid she did not know your age and whatnot, but I am sure the way you carried/presented yourself gave it away some what...i am 23 and was with some 13 years older than me...so, i was in that situation and maybe it would have worked but who know...i did not try...one of my many problems...anyways...if you guys truely love each other than i could work, but just remember how much you grew up and change when you were her age so she is not going to be the same person 5 years from now

melodyanne1

i don't see a prob with the age gap if you 2 are happy. i know my 7 year gap between my husband and myself caused a few probs cause i wasn't ready to settle at first. i wanted to party and he didn't. now that i am ready and so is he, we make a perfect match. if the relationship is worth it to you, then you can make it through the rough times!

UnkowntoMyself

Do not worry if both of you know about this fact and if she agrees about this fact but try to tell her how actually the gap is and leave the decsion for her

+++++ SPOOK ++++

JUST TELL HER STRAIGHT YOU ARE OLDER SO WHO CARES!

DENISE

i was married to a man 22 years older to me,we was married for 18 yrs.and had three kids (all grown now ) and we had a wonderful marrage and it didn't hurt us at all.
just rember not to be her daddy and don't let anyone tell you you shouldn't marry her if thats what is right for the both of you.
i did and i'm not sorry for it,he died in 99 and i'm happier for doing what i did.

magz

well so long as it works for you and her!

painfully blunt

If you guys are nearly engaged and she doesn't even know how old you are...you have deeper issues.

Marriage is about trust and honesty.

So, strap it on, step up to the plate and lay it out there. If you love her she needs to know the truth.

By the way, this isn't some awful secret...age is just a number if she is in love with you, it shouldn't be an issue. I think you are worried about nothing. It's not like you are covering up some horrible past, like a former marriage or worse...you are just older than her.

Worse case scenario is that she is changing your diapers while she's still in her 60's...LOL. But true love is blind.

singer

age doesn't matter at all as long as you feel healthy but don't you think it time to tell the truth big boy?

Lisa W

You mustnt worry about these things it is emotionally draining and you need to focus on continuing to love her be honest with her in everyway always let her feel what she means to you. God bless and good luck

All4Christ

man you made it sound like your 50 and she was like 20. ahhahaha. dont worry about the gap. its not large at all. i know a lot of people who love eachother and are together and have a large gap between them.
but how in the world did you keep your age a secret? wouldnt she have found out on your birthdays? or you just would tell her? you know what? you keeping your age a secret could have her thinking that your not honest about things. so be carefull. dont keep it a secret no more. tell her. if she loves you it couldnt matter. good luck

mandylou9880

first of all, be honest, tell the girl how old you are, let her make up her mind about the gap....but the longer you don't tell her, the better chance she is gonna be pissed when she does find out

samane

i think theres nomatter if she really loves u,but lying........its a bigger problem ,try to find out how to tell her it's better to solve it right now,cause i'm sure if she loves u,really,she won't get angry with u and will understand ur fear and concider that as ur big amount of love,but if u delay telling her thetruth......maybe......so come on!!!!! why r u still sitting get up and call her!!!!!!!!! explain it for her she will understand! hurry up!!

StraightDrive

Address your fear first by telling her your age. For all you know, she may not mind it at all. If she objects to it, it is better to separate before marriage than after marriage. Her view is most important, not ours on the internet.

Me and my shadow

She is being deceived by you. What else haven't you told her?

helping_hand_only_4_u

MY HUSBAND S 17 YEARS ELDER TO ME. WE GOT MARRIED LAST YEAR, AND EVERYTHING IS GOING FINE TILL DATE. IT IS NOT GOOD TO HIDE THINGS ESPECIALLY YOUR AGE FROM YOUR LADY LOVE. IF THE LOVE BETWEEN YOU TWO IS TRUE, THEN I AM SURE SHE WILL BE CONSIDERATE. KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED.........

usmchawkeye

I believe you should be honest and see how she feels about it.

Cathy L

The main problem here is that you have been lying to her by hiding your age. Have you never really talked about personal things like that? If not.....you are NOT ready to get married. And she is very young at 21 to have two children and be thinking about marrying a man she really doesn't know!

Miss America

I don't think that age gap matters at all, what matters is that you lied to her.

hot chocolate

Well is your girlfriend over the age of 18? People say that age is just a number and I agree but you shouldn't have kept that from her. That is a big deal to some and may be to her too. Tell her and see where it goes from there. If she really loves you, then it won't matter.

Dangus B

if u trully love her! tell her!
i might believed that she can understand!
age doesnt matter
it is just a number:)

Kris

I dont see no problem with it. My cousin is 21 and is Dating a 36 year old. And also my best friend dates men at least 15 years older then her and she is only 20. So I think if she loves you there should be no problem, but you sould have told her from the get go..

Billie G

If she loves you age should not matter .age is only a number love is alot more then age . if you love someone it does not matter on the age there was 22 years between me and my kids father.

hmmmmmmmm

Dude you need to sit her down and talk to her. explain that you wasnt expecting it to go so far hence you never bringing it up. explain that you were worried of losing her and thats why you never said recently and say that you couldnt let her marry you without her knowing your real age. you might be in the dog house for a while but at least youll be able to sleep.

doc

Be open and honest with her and tell her that although you may look and act much younger, you are 17 years older and you care so much for her that you were afraid of losing her if you told her your real age. You should sit down and talk to her soon, before you are engaged. You are absolutely right; if she really loves you your age difference won't matter. Best of luck.

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