If a woman's husband does not love her son, but is loving to her, should she stay with him?

ska8ter

no it,ll damage your son emotionally

cmomma

My child ALWAYS comes first.

tickled blue

You are a package deal......you should be with a man who loves both of you....truly, he doesn't love you if he isn't willing to, at the least, spend time with the most important 'little man' in your life!!

lauren

I'm sorry but the son should come first. The husband is a grown man and should know and do better.

hopetohelpyou

I would say if the son is being abused, get out of the relationship. If it's not abuse, try talking to him first. How long have they been married. Sometimes it takes time for them to bond. I am a step mom and I tried very hard to bond with my step daughter, we had full custody of the kids. But the biological mothers family was telling lies about me to her and we never did bond at all. Not that I hated her, I did things with her, took her to practices, went to her games, everything a normal mom would do. But you just can't make them bond if its not going to happen.

iAm notArabbit

I was about to say that maybe it was alright that he doesn't love him as long as he isn't unkind to him in any way, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I couldn't be with someone who didn't love my child just by default.
On the other hand...I've met some children who ONLY a mother could love. If the son is a holy terror then it might be understandable.

Lindsay G

Has she talked to her husband and asked him what the h*** his problem is?
If so, the son is more important. Yes, the woman's happiness is important, but NOT at the expense of her son's happiness and well being.

Molly

Maybe she should tell the husband how she feels, and that it's important to her for him to include her child.

jcheek2010

she should ask her son what he feels and tell her husband how she feels because i hated my stepdad when my mom first married him and he never spent time with me but now he does and hes amazingly cool

Katie

What do you mean by neglecting? It's not the child's father...

Ms. GTO

Hell no!

I could never be with someone who mistreated my kids.

He'd be out the door on his a*s!

notyou311

Exactly what is his attitude toward the son and how old is the son? If he dislikes him or is hostile that would be terrible for a child. Maybe he needs to take a parenting course. I would not get involved with someone who does not love my child.

MelC

no your child should always come first and I think this could have a HUGE effect on your childs self esteem and many other things. I think you need to find someone that will love you and your son. there are lots of guys out there that will do that!

greenfaerie

Well if they are a family then yes, it matters that he is an active remodel for her son, and she talk with her husband. I'm sure its not that he doest love him, its just maybe he doesn't feel he, can,.... be it that its his stepchild, he may not know what his "parenting role" should be.

I don't think it comes down to leaving or anything like that...just sounds like some communication issues there.

Good luck

Seanzy Pittsburgh

As a parent your responsible for your son's well being and happiness in till he is mature and becomes an adult. You should put no kid through a relationship with a step father that doesnt care about him. Besides if he only loves you and not your son. He's not very loving in the first place

beth

if she *cough*you*cough* is considering a long term relationship like idk marriage hes not right for you unless he can learn to love him too

michael d

Well you can't force the husband to love her wife's son, it is a matter of choice. But as a step dad he has resposibility too with the kid. Love is not just can be said and forget, it will come naturally without pressure.

x2000

If he is not abusive or negative towards the son in any manner, then I think the relationship is fine. When I was growing up, my mother stayed with an abusive step-father and alcoholic, and indifference would have been a pleasure.

Mallory

how long have they been together? how old is the son? maybe he just doesn't know what to do, she should talk to him first and find out what is going on. he seems to be a loving person.

sick.kientt

son is much more important.

humboldt1965amy

how old is your son? have you told your husband that you would like he and your son to be closer? Where is your sons real father? Is he around? Could your husband possibly feel like he would be intruding on that relationship? And how long have you been married? Have you given it enough time for any sort of bond to form? If he is not abusive or mean, he could just be doing the "dad" thing the way "his dad" did it. Does he work alot, alot of dads really don't spend as much time as you may think....and neglected would be a harsh term to use.

Mary P

Oh, that's so hard to deal with, I have the same problem! My husband has two kids of his own, when I first met him, he pretended to be there for them by going to the school to (check) on them and taking us places but that stopped shortly after we were together for a little while! I have two daughters and he has never paid any attention to them- but he doesn't pay any attention to his own kids either! My daughters don't like him!! That puts a strain on our relationship. But I look at it from anothers point of view and we don't have much of a relationship, just one-sided. Once you are married to this person, it's not so easy to just walk out! I've tried leaving three times, and the last time didn't even make it out the door! My oldest daughter got married and moved out and finally the youngest moved in with her and is here on weekends...(no offense guys) but the men I've known have all been dogs and I have to live with the decisions I've made!!! Just follow your heart, if you are like me, no matter what anyone else says in the long run, you will do what you need to do! Try to talk to him and do little things to help your husband to realize this is an important part of your relationship with him. I can't talk to mine...so if you can talk to yours-Thank God!

â™¥Top Notch Mamaâ™¥

son is waaaay more important, i wouldnt be able to be with a guy who does not accept my kid. if he really loves u he should love ur son aswell because he is a part of u

SaraSparklez

Well if it involves neglecting the son then of course the son should come first. On the other hand if her husband is ok with her son but just doesn't feel close to him then theres really nothing wrong with that as long as they get along ok. You can't really make someone love someone else, as long as everybody gets along well and nobody is left out I think it is a fair situation, not ideal but fair. Sometimes people take a long time to warm up to other people and sometimes personalities just don't click as well as others might. Hopefully the husband is nice to the son and doesn't make him feel like an outsider because that would not be acceptable.

DONNA W

Heck No!!! When it comes to women that have children, it is definitely a package deal. No exceptions. Love me, love my children. Now if the woman's husband is good to the son, and non abusive that is fine, depending on how old the child is, it may be difficult for the husband to make the bond as the woman may like. As long as the husband is respectful to the child, the relationship can grow over the years. It's bad enough that the child does not have the biological father in the house, but to have to feel like he is also lossing his mother to another man is even worse. Either the child is included, or the husband becomes an ex also.

heathergriggs

family is always more important it could give her son problems later in life if she continues to stay with him. kids don't like it when a guy is chosen over them

sweetthang

i know exactly what you mean!!... my children mean the world to me. how was he with your son before you married? let me guess.. he put on the ritz, then you married him..? OR he has always treated him like this and you thought after you married him, he would change. i am a firm believer in... if they love you they will love your children!!! no man is worth more than your child being hurt emotionally, verbally, etc.... i am in a similar situation... my husband and i have a son together and i have a son from a previous marriage and same for my hubby.. however, i sat my husband down and i told him that i expected him to treat my son just as i treat his children... i treat his children as if they were my own. he knows where i stand when it comes to my children... i will not let anyone hurt my child.. no matter how much you think he loves you... always remember if you do not protect and stand up for your son..... who will? if you decide to stay with your husband, let him know where you stand when it comes to your son. your husband is an adult he can handle life by himself! your son needs you!!!!!!!

Kortne J

CHILDREN SHOULD ALWAYS BE FIRST IN YOUR LIFE!!!! If your child is being neglected than its not a relationship or marriage you need to be in. Trust me been there done that but I was the child in the situation.

clara

Who is the boy's daddy? If the boy is not his biological son, this should have been taken care of prior to marriage. His mind is he married you. In the man's mind he may be saying let the boy stay with his daddy.

BikerChick

That is one very selfish lady. The boy will later on in life end up hating her for it too. Children should ALWAYS come first no matter what - they are YOUR creation, and YOUR responsibility.

I am still shocked you even have to ASK this question.

grycld1967

leave it's a package deal

fufufu

Children should always come first.... Men are whenever and Children are for ever...

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