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Perfection Is An Art
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Nope.
I think you should have a shared one. AND one each. |
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Gran Gran
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I think you both need premarital counseling. It will cover all these questions. You will be glad you did. Do not get married until these issues are resolved.
Peace and Happiness! |
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BabeHeart
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It's up to you two. My first husband and I had a joint account, and he nearly wrecked my (our) credit with his spending and forgetting to write things down. I vowed I'd never have a joint account with a spouse/lover again.
My 2nd husband and I had separate accounts. |
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ndnqt1966
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My husband and I share all our bank accounts.....If you are concerned that he will go out and buy a bunch of junk that you can't afford....perhaps you should rethink your decision about marrying someone who is terrible with money...
It really isn't that difficult to monitor you bank accounts on line...my husband may forget to tell me about a purchase...but I can see it when I am balancing our accounts on line... |
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VoiceofCommonSense
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When my husband and I got married almost five years ago, we became one. Therefore, we agreed there should be only one account. Ours. So far, there hasn't been any problems. |
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ladilove
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Yes it is fine to have seperate acconts, but for bills, morgage etc should be in a joint account. Like each of you set aside $300 a month in your seperate account, kinda like mad money you can use for what ever. But the key is to be honest about it and not hide the fact about having a seperate account. |
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Poppet
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For my marriage we have several accounts but they are all joint accounts. When we got married there was no more HIS and MINE. All the funds that come into the house are OURS. |
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bigmomma
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My husband and I had three accounts: his, mine, and our house account. Both of us were on all three accounts. Our biggest account was for the house and the other two were smaller. In that way, we could each purchase things we wanted without having to consult the other. Both of us felt good about this and as I said we both had access to all three accounts. I really think your question goes to the issue of trust. You and your boyfriend might want to discuss your fears that he'll buy a lot of junk. Good luck. |
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Rachel
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I think that a good compromise would be to have a joint bank account to use for things such as groceries, gas, living expenses, etc. Then each have a separate bank account that you put a certain percentage of your paycheck into. You can then use that account for your own personal shopping (aka- his junk), and also for gifts for eachother (who wants to feel like they bought their own birthday gift?). |
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nicksgirly
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Have separate accounts and not get married.. |
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Church Street
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Three accounts.
One joint account - both pays go in here.
Two separate accounts - 1/10 of the total of the pays is paid out to each private account as spending money - that's $100 for each $1000 - each. $150 goes to the person buying the food and household goods. Rent and all other utilities are paid up to date out of joint account. In this way both of you can see where the joint money is going to.
In this way you both get equal money and can spend it on whatever you like without argument.
I manage the money in our house, but use the above method. Never had a single fight about money - ever. I have total control. And she has peace of mind she can check. She gets the food m oney. If she spends wisely, she keeps the change. If she spends badly, she makes up the difference. In this way our shopping has become more regulated and predictable - no more cupboard full of junk and no food. |
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<3
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if you're not ready for a joint account, you're not ready for marriage and if he's a spender and you're not, you will have problems... |
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baby boo
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we have a joint account and we both have our own seperate accounts. joint account is for bills and he pays himself a wage into his account as we have our own business. he then puts an allowance in my account every week in case i needs cloths or any personall items. |
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Pinolera
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Tell your boyfriend future husband that finance is the number one cause for divorce. You got two kinds of people in a marriage, those who spend and those who save. Which one is he? What you can do is this: Have two accounts. PUt your names on each other's accounts. Have your income go into one and his go into the other. Have an agreement that you will not touch his account and he will not touch yours unless agreed upon this. I have been married 16 years and this has worked for both me and my husband. Also you need to start thinking who will pay what bills. Mortgage, rent, etc. My husband because he makes more he pays for mortgage, cell phones, entertainment, son's tutoring. I pay for the minor bills like light bill, phone, groceries, insurance. You can also set up a 3rd account where you agree to put the same amount each and that could be money saved up for entertainment or other expenses. |
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Paul M
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If you think you should have separate bank accounts then you arent ready for the commitment and open honesty that marriage requires.
He's probably scared you are going to spend all the money on shoes! |
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Elvira
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I've been married and by law it makes no difference you are one, however, I agree with you, keep separate accts and each handle a portion of the bills. You will probably find less arguing over money. Also if you combine them you will have to figure out who is going to control the bill paying and usually that person gets the blame for all money problems. Go separate. |
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Pinkshrek
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Me and my partner were in the same situation a little bit back. What we have now is one account for bills, car, house etc. and then our own separate account which we use for our car insurance, presents and anything we want. this way we pay all the important things together, but still have the freedom to buy ourselves the things we want without feeling guilty that we;re spending the 'joint' money. |
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Sussy G
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I have been married for 7 years already and my husband and I have a joint bank account, I think what it is, is that you dont know how to behave financially, it doesn't matter how make more money than the other is having the knowledge of taking your payments strictly on your money available....
Good luck!!! you will need it.
When you get married both of you become one person in everything no matter the situation is........that is why is called MARRIAGE 2 PEOPLE IN ONE. |
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Sandy Ego
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Why are you scared he will go out and "buy a bunch of junk"? If you don't trust him, how can you expect to be married to him? The truth is, once you're married, it doesn't matter whose account the money is coming from - you will both be responsible for the debts accrued after marriage. So if you can't be comfortable with his financial decisions, you shouldn't marry this man at all.
Whether or not you have joint or separate accounts is up to you two to work out. Some people prefer it one way, others a different way. Whichever road you decide to take, both of you need to be happy with it; some roads are mutually exclusive, so it is a very good idea to decide BEFORE marriage how you're going to handle your finances. There's no "right" or "wrong" way to do it, but if you have incompatible views and refuse to compromise, you will run into a lot of problems.
Most couples I know have joint finances. I personally tend to feel that becoming a family involves making everything "ours" instead of keeping it "mine" and "yours". It's important to have common financial goals - and when you do, combining assets often makes it easier to achieve these goals. My husband and I have combined our resources after we got married; if we didn't trust each other's financial judgement, I don't think we would have ended up together to begin with. |
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siava101
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Speaking from experience, have your own account. Sharing will cause nothing but arguments. As soon as money is debited for something small he or you buys, the accusations start flying. Separate the bills and make sure to pay your half on time. If he insists on sharing some sort of account, why not share the savings account? It may be more convenient to share the checking account, but believe me, it's not worth the hassle.
Sharing the same bank account is more than just money. Just because you two are getting married doesn't mean you two have to lose your separate identities. You're still your own people. Don't let that bit get warped or you lose yourself. |
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napqueen
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Judge Judy always says to keep your finances separate. Money has nothing to do w/love or marriage. YOU ARE RIGHT (& WAY SMARTER!). |
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passionfruit_gal
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I think it's up to you to sort out. Plenty of people do both. Obviously not the same people doing both as in a couple both pools and separates their money, although I suppose you could do both with half of your money each way..........
ramble
Bottom line is, it's between you and your fiance and what you each feel comfortable with.
Maybe compromise? All living costs pooled together but each have your own savings pile. |
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calendargirl
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I would keep 3 accounts. A joint account, and you each have your own accounts. You should figure out the monthly bills and each contribute your portion to the joint account. This way it gives you each your own spending money. When birthdays and Christmas come the other doesn't get to see what you spent on the gift. |
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bountyhunter
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no! girlfriend stay with your own account ....my ex-wife would kill me in over draft ....**** the bank would send her thank-you notes for all the over drafts close to 300. a month. |
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Ms. GTO
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If you have any doubts about his ability to manage finances, then save yourself the aggravation and anguish, and get the seperate accounts. That way, if his credit/bank balance ends up in the crapper, yours isn't affected. |
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#1 Steeler Chick
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In most states, money is marital property along with everything else. I'll tell you my experience. My former husband did not want any joint bank accounts when we married so we had separate accounts. He made his own financial decisions and I made mine (under his criticism). I believe that financial separation bled into every aspect of our relationship and we never became a true partnership, even after our children were born--we subsequently divorced.
You seriously need to re-think why you want separate bank accounts if he wants a joint account. Discuss these questions together: What are your spending habits like? Do you have a budget planned? You need to discuss that before you make any decision about joint or separate bank accounts.
My vote is for joint accounts. When you get married, you become a partnership. |
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Nikki H
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Good question, I'm on your boyfriends end of this issue right now..lol, I'm married and have been for 3 years last summer we separated forcing me and him to have separate accounts, when we got back together he thought it'd be better to keep them separate. I disagreed simply because I was barely getting by at the time and he makes 2x the money I make. Well it causes a few little arguments..like when he goes to play golf and I can't do anything extra because I'm broke, childish i guess but oh well. How we do it is he pays the rent, I pay utilities and we take turns buying groceries, and he pays our car insurance, each pay our own cell phone bills...etc. And since he does make more money then me he usually gets the bill when we go out to dinner or something. You can pool your money together and keep your account open and just add a little to it every once in a while...Its good advice anyway, never know when a rainy day will hit. |
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justme
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I think it is a good idea. My husband and I had separate accounts until about three years ago after I had our son and stopped working. I hate sharing a bank account. He doesn’t write anything down and never keeps up with anything he spends. He just guestimates and goes by what the ATM tells him. It drives me crazy. It is no wonder he is always nervous about the money because he never really knows what we have. I write down EVERYTHING. My account was balanced to the t and I knew what I had at the end of every week and month and how much extra I could spend. I am so ready to get back into the work place and have my own account again. I never feel like I can spend any money without explaining it or getting chewed out for the cost. I do not like to go shopping so I do not spend that much. I think he just doesn’t want me to know what he is spending. I think that things worked better when we halved all the bills like you would with a roommate. We split everything 50/50 back then. It just worked better for us because we have two different ways of doing our finances. He won’t just let me take them and balance everything so we know what we have. It drives me to insanity at times. So I would tell you to do what is best for your relationship when it comes to the finances and banking things. I think also that every woman should have an account set aside that her husband knows nothing about that she can set aside money in case something happens that she needs to leave the relationship. You always need that emergency account just in case so you will be able to be financially independent. That is just my advice. |
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The Princess
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It's really for the best for a married couple to combine everything. Having separate accounts leads to too much independence from each other, and if that's the case, why bother getting married at all? However, each individual couple may have different ways of doing things and it's certainly not immoral or anything to have separate accounts. Just decide on a system that you're both happy with, but you both have to agree. |
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Leaf
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My fiance and I are going to have a joint account. It's just going to make it easier all the way around. In your case, just make it very clear that large purchases should be a joint decision not "Look at the 60" TV I bought!" decision : ) |
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rita
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My husband and I have different bank accounts because it is really hard to keep track of who is spending what if you only have one checkbook. You can either have his name 2nd on yours and your name 2nd on his (in case either of you need to sign for the other) or do them in one name each. Maybe you could try to set a certain amount aside each payday that can be spent on whatever each of you want, or saved for something more expensive. |
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