Im married but want to get in touch with my ex. Is that wrong?

If you want to make ammends send a card w apology. Getting in touch with him n e other way could cause a bunch of trouble especially if your hubby sees the phone record!! Becareful.....

tipper

Ask your husband what he thinks about it. If he says do it, then go ahead. If not, then you need to abide by his wishes. If there's nothing to hide from him (your hubby), then there's no reason not to ask him. Just make sure he's okay with this first.

Savannah

its in the past. leave it there.

he has probably moved on and isnt bothered.

i think it will hurt your husband and could split your family up.

Katy

just let it go and enjoy your marriage now, if you try to dig up the past it could end up hurting your relationship with your husband.

Candy C

Just think how you would feel if it was your husband who wanted to contact his ex. Does that answer your question?

yes yes yes.

Do not contact him.

Go on with your life. You are no longer responsible for his happiness. You have a husband you made a solemn vow to. Do not f*&k it up.

Leave the boy alone>

shygrl52

I say yes its wrong. If you have no children with him then you kno what dont look for him...Have you ever thought like what if your husband were looking for his ex...how would that make you feel?? I say just forget about him and live your life! If you should ever see him again by accident, fate or whatever life force that wasnt intentionally cause by you then go ahead and talk to him then. But as far as you looking for him I say forget it.

ranger_girl

What has been done has been done and should be left in the past especially now that you have a family.
The only thing you will show him if you try to get in contact with him again is interest and availability.

Dr. Feel Realgood

You are only wrong if you are keeping this from your current spouse. You have to be honest. The man is an ex for a reason. Let it go.

Rachel

You want closure...that's what it seems. Well...I can understand that. I have an ex boyfriend who I parted with on fairly good terms - he just wasn't the one for me. He wanted to marry me and I just couldn't see us staying together so I said no. I've since gotten married to the right one and he is wonderful!

There are times when I'd love to get in touch with my ex...but then I think of my husband and I know he'd be unhappy if I did. Fortunately for me, my ex's mom still emails me so in a way, I do find out things!

Whatever you decide, bee careful :) Don't ruin your marriage over an ex!

devil_pixie

Well, you love your hubby, right? So why not talk to him. If you're scared of asking him, because he isn't that comfy wit hthat sort of thing, then you probably shouldn't be trying to contact your ex.
Remember your wedding vows, you are meant to share everyhting with your partener. Doing something like tracking down your ex without telling him could play on your mind and conscience quite alot. Also, hubby could find out and think ther eis more going on than there is.
So, you have to ask yourself the question, is contacting your ex worth potentially wrecking your marriage and destroying your childs family?
this may not happen but it could certainly make things sticky between you and your hubby. IS it really worth it?

Country Girl

I think its nice to want to make your peace although this could be opening up a very large can a worms write it all down on paper and then bun it in your garden and youve apologised energetically it does work honestly xx

lisapf7

You are being tempted to do this so that you will do something you will regret one day, more than you regret the past with this other guy. I suggest you forget about him and just let it go! More than likely he doesn't even think about it and having you get into contact with him will be a sign that you only want to be with him again.

Just learn from the mistake and move on! It's the best thing to do! It's also a case of "the grass is greener on the other side" syndrome and also thinking about the past it always seems so much nicer and sweeter than what it really was with the exes and what you did to him does not matter anymore.
You have a family now, and you better do all that you can to protect it, and that means keeping the hell away from the past!!

prettyfroggy

as long as your husband knows and your not sneaking around I don't see a problem with it however if the shoe was on the other foot would you like your husband attempting such a thing? Depends on what your intentions really are and if you are really being honest with yourself.

xovenusxo

He has made no attempt to contact you ..... right? Think about that. Value what you have and don't cause friction both in your marriage and any new relationship he might have.

freerange00720002000

how would you feel if your husband wanted to contact his x,
It doesnt matter now how you split from your x,you split up and you now have a family and your x also probably has his own family.
Try to put this out of your mind,unless your not happy in your marriage that is.
Maybe you have alot of thinking to do

benn26k

Am I reading between the lines or is there more to this than you are saying?
Whats done is done, move on and enjoy life with your husband and child. Dragging up the past will only cause upset.

Bev J

it seems like you want to make peace with your heart. Now follow Tipper's advice I feel he is so very right

Ontheotherhand

You're married and have a child. So, you want to fix things up with your ex?????? Are you planning to straighten out that fight you had with the neighbor kid back when you were seven? How about the boy back in second grade that you teased? Or, is it just your ex you need to fix things up with? Lady, drop this idea. Worry about your marriage, and let the past stay the past. The only thing you'll accomplish is to screw up your marriage.

juicy

HELLO,
I'M GOING THROUGH THE SAME THING RIGHT NOW. I WANT TO WRITE MY EX JUST TO SEE HOW HE IS DOING AND THATS IT BUT KNOW IF MY HUSBAND FOUND OUT HE WILL FLIP, AND I DON;T WANT TO RISK BREAKING UP MY MARRIAGE FOR THAT SO IF YOUR HUSBAND IS UNDERSTANDING ABOUT IT THEN DON.T HIDE IT BUT IF NOT JUST FORGET ABOUT IT.THATS WHAT I'M GOING TO BE DOING....LOL

Baps .

I think that you should just concentrate on your new life and not worry about your ex. Why have you decided that you want to contact him now, also have you told your husband this and how does he feel about it. If it means so much to you why don't you mention it to your husband and see how he takes it. Also think about it this way, if your husband decided that he was going to track down an ex-girlfriend how would you feel about it?

Personally I think that you should just forget about your ex and just live your life

rattyfraggs

Personally Id try to contact him, but not get obsessed about it. Its a shame when relationships end on bad terms. I see no harm in laying the old relationship to rest once and for all.

justagrandma

You don't have a right/wrong question, you have a dumb/smart question.
It is dumb to start looking for a guy who left years ago, and if he were interested, he would have looked you up. Its dumb to think he cares a penny about the terms on which you left, men don't obsess about that, and if they do they need help. Its dumb to think it wouldn't hurt your husband or that he won't find out.
You sound like you might want a bit of drama in a life that might have become a somewhat predictable and for granted. But real life repercussions could be quite sad for you and your family, even if on contact, your ex tells you to f off and hangs up.
So, whats smart?
Look him up on Google if you must, just to see if he is doing anything notable, then erase the history and forget about it.
No getting in touch, not even across a continent.
Then go out to dinner with husband and child and thank God for them and your every now-and-then dull life.

umm ayman

You know tha marriage is sacred people dont respect it these days? how would u feel if ur husband wanted to get in contact with his ex? would u be understand? i dont thin so you have clearly moved on f ur married with child try to forget him... it will only end in tears

shane892000

it can only lead to something bad.

debbie

it will only end in trouble don't

pinkheart100

Yes, that is very wrong, and Iwould'nt do it, especially if I have a child!!! Just forget about your ex, and be happy w/ what you have
Plus, that is bad influence on your child, it might get your child mad at you. I would think the better of it..

fucose_man

Why do you need to make things right? You are interested in rekindling the things that excited you. Stay away. How much do you want to hurt your husband so you can get a giddy little thrill?

Drop it. Forget it.
Oh by the way your husband wants to "make things right" with some ex-girlfriend and track her down. Do you like that? Or should he pay attention to his wife and forget about it?

pitre

I don't know how you know your ex but if you went to school with him or know what school he went to you can try classmates.com.
You could also do a people search on yahoo and get his address and sometimes a phone number. Sometimes we just need to empty our guilt and get closure but you could be opening Pandora's box. Think long and hard about why you want to contact this person. Sometimes people change for the worse and it would have been better to leave the fond memory you have of them in your head. You could also open yourself up to falling in love with him again. I have a ex that I got in touch with and we are friends but I fell in love with him again and it is hard to hide the hurt sometimes. He has a wife and I know that I will never be with him but the friendship I have with him is a great one and wouldn't give it up for anything. It's a double edge sword. So like I said think long and hard before you open up that door because it could change the rest of your life.

Arthur W

Chances are youre going to reopen a can of worms. You now feel regret for what ever happened yrs ago and now you want to make remends.Dont be suprised if he doesnt want to talk to you as he has probably forgotten all about it and moved on with his life and you may be the very last person he wants to ever see again. Sometimes we dont get to do what we would like,like mending old fences, for whatever reason it just isnt possible, Most of the time it works out for the better. Someday if its meant to be you two will cross paths again and you can tell him then but in the meantime let it go and get on with your life and the rest will take care of itself. Good luck

mikydotcom@btinternet.com

Candy c does it for me. He has moved on, and so must you.

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