Im so furious, should I just leave or demand change?
Find answers to your legal question.
Im so furious, should I just leave or demand change?
|
My husband and I argue because he wants his way without caring about what I want. He criticizes me so much and I feel controlled. He started threatening to leave me once he figured out that I didnt want him to leave. About a month ago, he waited until I went to work and he packed up the entire house and moved out. We started talking again a few days later and agreed to go to counseling. We could not afford the house note and an apartment for him so we decided he would move back in and I would go to my sisters. I would still pay my share of the house expenses while I'm gone. After he moved back he asked me not to leave after all because he loved me and wanted to work it out. Things have been good for the last month until 3 days ago he started demanding his way again. I refused and it led to an argument and I can't stop being mad that he broke his promise to me. I'm furious because he also insulted me and acted like he would hit me. I have my bags packed right now and I want to leave him forever. But, I want to also give him a chance to apologize and promise he will never do it again. I dont want us to keep moving in and out of this house. Do I have the right to demand change out of him while I'm walking out the door? Am I wrong because I want him to stop me and tell me how sorry he is and he will never do it again? I desperately want change and compromise but he thinks compromise means I agree to do things his way. We don't have our first counseling appointment for another 2 weeks. I told him he must apologize to me in a way I accept or else I will never speak to him again. I dont understand why he wont just apologize to me. He has a brick wall up but he wont admit it.
Additional Details
He "reminds" me the proper way to do things around the house like how to fold towels, load the dishwasher, turn off lights, wrap the vacuum cleaner cord, and how much toilet paper to use. I do all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, and work a full time job. I take out the trash and cut the grass while he plays video games.
I said he micromanages my life. He says I do too, so I asked for examples. Last week we were at a red light and I said the light turned green when he didnt start driving. Then I reminded him he left his blinker on after he got on the freeway. Then I asked him to check on the puppies who are in the kitchen when he was in there making coffee. I said that is not micromanaging and he is telling me I'm not allowed to talk to him.
Last night he said he had a headache and wanted some peace and quiet but he screamed it in my face and spit on me and acted like he would hit me.
|
 
|
Arleen J
|
You want him to apologize and say he'll never do it again. Hasn't he already done that? He waited until you weren't home and packed his things and left. The two of you talked, kissed and made up and he moved back in. Things were great for a month and then 3 days ago he showed you his true colors...again!
So if he apologized and said he was sorry and will never do it again what would make that promise different from the last one? Are you familiar with, "leopards don't change their spots?" I do believe that applies here. Be mindful about staying with someone who, "looks like they want to hit you." The first time it may just be a threat. The next time he feels that you've said or done something to piss him off you could find yourself flying across the room from a backhanded blow.
Unless he's willing to go to some serious counseling and completely change his controlling ways, he's always going to want things his way and feel that it's your due to go along with it.
I'd get out now before you have a really serious problem on your hands. Find a man who doesn't have a problem considering what you like and want. Marriage is fifty-fifty. Anything less than that is not a marriage. It's a dictatorship. Don't you deserve better? I think so. Good luck to you. |
|
Valerie X Account #20! At Last!
|
I don't mean to sound cruel, but some of these questions REALLY make my life seem BORING!
You know how much time, energy and planning go into moving everything out of a house in one day????
This is CRAZY! |
|
Happy-2
|
How can you not see the the following two quotations make absolutely no sense together:
1. "he broke his promise to me."
and...
2. "I want to also give him a chance to apologize and promise he will never do it again."
Given that he has a history of breaking promises, I don't see why you're hoping for another one. His promises are clearly worthless. |
|
Lisa Marie
 |
Give an example of how he is critical and controlling so I can better answer your question.
Edit: Oh boy this doesn't sound good. Go to your sisters house. Him being on toilet paper patrol and spitting in your face is a bad sign. This is far worse than the normal arguments most couples have. |
|
It's Her Again!!
 |
Neither of you are right in this relationship. You want a fantasy, not what you really have. You both want things your way and don't behave well when you don't get it. I think you should end it now and get some counseling on your own to help you mature. Then you will be able to have a healthy, loving relationship with someone who is also healthy and mature. |
|
prettylittlething
|
You both are acting childish. This is not a mature relationship and you keep on repeating the same things. You are acting like his mother and he is retaliating. You both are wrong and need to step back and look at what you are doing and stop. |
|
China Doll 3
 |
It is up to you, but I would get counseling and see how things goes, give it a chance at least. |
|
mr.c
 |
this is headed for a bad ending.
sometimes you need to stand your ground. this is one of those times. |
|
SlyKitty
 |
As long as you continue to be his door mat, he will continue to abuse you. Why even waste your time in counseling when it is obvious what you need to do & it is NOT wait for an apology from him. |
|
unsung hero
|
Heh....you stay with a man that spits on you? That's disgusting. Honestly, it sounds like you're both in the wrong on alot of things.
You:Don't be a side seat driver, no one likes that. Check on the puppies yourself, if you want them checked do it, he's not your slave. Stop making demands on eachother, thats not what love is about.
Him: No spitting (gross!) And let you do the house chores your way, he should be happy you're doing them at all.
Two weeks you're waiting for your counselor to be free?? You need to find another one that's much too long, an it sounds like there will be another explosion before that. A good counselor will get you in the same day if you're having serious problems. |
|
|
|
|
|
 Have you ever acted on your fantasies and cheated on your spouse? |
| No, I'm NOT thinking of cheating. I do however believe most people have their fantasies of someone else. If you choose to act on it or not is the question. Anyone here that was so unhappy or ... |
|
 Do my husband had the right to take my daughter? |
| i am planning to separate with my husband, so this is what im thinking, i am planning to work, i know i can do it, but my income would probably not that much money for me and daughter 15months old to ... |
|
 I need a divorce lawyer in ST.Louis who will take payments.? |
| I live in the STL area and am in desperate need of a lawyer who will take payments so that I can take my ex to court she left me and is now keeping my children from me. I work hard but now have to ... |
|
 Why are most 18-year-old-women...? |
Why are most 18-year-old women not virgins?
I am immensely frustrated. I'm 20, never had a girlfriend, and it's impossible to find any moral girls around my age to date.... |
|
 Ladies what should I do? |
| Me & my wife of 10 yrs have been having problems concerning another man. For 3 months we where separated because she told me didn't love me anymore. I later found out she was talking to ... |
|
 Is this true about marriages/divorces or not? |
| i have a friend who is married but her and her husband are seperated. Throughout the process she started dating another guy and got pregnant by him. is it true that she can not name her baby after ... |
|
 How would you feel if you shared a very hurtful childhood with your husband? |
| If you shared a very hurtful childhood with your husband, things you want to open up about just to feel better, and later had a big fight about other things, and he tells you that you need medicine ... |
|
 What am I supposed to think about this? |
| My wife just went back to school. I support this 100%, I want her to do well get good grades and be successful. Since she has taken on a full load we have not seen each other very often.. she'... |
|
 Whats one of your favourite memories with your husband/wife/SO? |
I keep seeing such sad questions so I thought maybe I'd throw in a nice one in :)
Pretty self explanatory, whats one of your favourite memories?
Mines when I flew 9.5 hours ... |
|
 Anyone else in a situation like me? |
I have heard that with this recession, the rate of divorce is dramatically decreasing. People just can't afford to get divorced right now.
I am a SAHM with a 5 and 3 year old. I ... |
|
| Please answer: what does his actions mean? |
being very concerned about your opposite gender friend's welfare. Worrying about thm when they dont respond. Or is it normal. They have been friends for 3months
Just friends?... |
|
 Ladies, do u get in to it because u like it or because he likes it? |
| i m talking about oral. most of the women i spoke said that they dont like it and only doing it because he loves it or he forces her to do it. I want to know how do u see that?... |
|
 Should I or should I not? |
| I got the opportunity to go work at a camp in Hawaii for the whole summer, But my husband does not want me to. He is in the military and could be deploying in the next year and wants to spend as much ... |
|
 Am I required to be friends with my sibling's IN LAWS. She just got married? |
| just went to my sister's wedding. met her new hubby's 6 sisters and bros. they SEEMED snobby and we had little to talk about. i can act civilzed but am i required to be friends with them ... |
|
 Ok, so u've spoken to ur partner about it, afterwards he does it..then what? |
| Even if they don't necessarily understand 'your problem', yet they do the things you've asked them to do...does it mean he's doing it under duress? coz he doesn't ... |
|
 When do we stop with child support? |
| My husband has a daughter from a previous relationship. They where never married. The child support is coming right out of his pay. My question is: His daughter will be 16 in August, and she is in 8... |
|
 Can u tell if your partner is just sort of using you 'for timebeing'? |
| Someone mentioned to me about not knowing whether their guy has the same idea about the relationship as she does, she thinks he's honest with her. But sometimes she feels like he's just ... |
|
| Can we divorce our mom & Dad? |
| This is the question of 8 years old boy and 9 years old girl who are next door. Yesterday these kids were playing my kids as usual and I was giving them some chocolates and chatting with the kids. S... |
|
|
No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
