In Your Opinion, What Should This Indian Boy Do?

Ok - been there, done that! I am the white girl, married to the Indian boy. My in-laws were not at all happy with the situation, as you well know. It took over a year of my husband saying he was not going to marry anyone else, was not going to look at any other girl's pictures or anything for them to finally agree to the marriage. In the meantime my husband had to make one or two emergency trips to India because his parents had health issues related to his wanting to marry me! In the end, they chose agreeing to the marriage over losing their son. We went to India, had a huge Indian wedding and slowly they started to warm up to me. Once the grandkids came of course - all problems were solved! As an aside - my BIL had an arranged marriage that ended in divorce - just goes to show you never know how things will turn out.

All I can say is have patience and be firm with your parents. Let them know that they will have to make a choice between loosing you or keeping you. Give them time to get used to the idea. Don't waiver. Tell them you won't agree to marry anyone else. Once you start getting too old they will just be happy you are married.

Good luck!

SidBridge

He should runaway with the caucasion girl. Plain & Simple

abbyrose

For one thing, u are not a boy, you are a man. being a man, you have to make decisions that your family may not agree with. Your family must be of the old ways. I am an American woman most likely close to your parents ages. I say you should follow your heart. Just make sure the woman u want to marry, is totally serious about the adjustments ahead of her. Make sure she is embracing Hinduism because she herself wants this. Not because she wants you. I hope things work out between u two, also I pray your parents will look past their customs and see what is in your heart. Good luck.

Mary

AtiaoftheJulii

He has two choices.

1) Marry the girl of his dreams with the knowledge that his parents will never forgive him or accept her

2) Marry the girl his parents have selected for him and try his best to make the marriage work.

My friend was in the same situaition. Her parents no longer speak to her because she married a white man.

sbautzy

Is this girl worth your family possilbly dissowning you?If you think so than this love better last forever,because if it don't your family is all that you will have and if it dont work than your family won't be there either.That's a tough question..but if you knew they were like that,why set yourself up like that in the first place.My opinion I think if you love someone and they love you back it shouldn't matter what they are.And exspecially if she is willing to learn your culture and raise kids that way and everything,I don't know why your family isn't more open to that.They would be raised how you were.If you love her that much,go for it,how do you love someone in an arranged marriage from your family?!!Good Luck!

100

if ,it is ur true luv,she will be definitely urs on the other hand ur parents r thinking of ur better future
but they shuld understand tht if a grl is ready leave her cultural ,then they shuld also move a step ahead

nina

Love only happens once...if he think she's the one, he should go for it, having indian parents is difficult and its known that they would never accept a marriage of a different race for their son/daughter, its up to him to make the decision if HE want to be happy or if he wants to see his parents happy...if he's really in love with her, he should be able to choose her over the world. =)

lego

It appears to me that out of respect for his parents he only wants to what is right with them. Perhaps if this lady he wants to marry is committed to him she will embrace his rituals and religion and educate herself to a level that is acceptable with his parents. On the other hand regardless of what she does may not be suitable for his parents because of the cultural differences. If possible the young couple and his parents and her parents for that matter should meet with a mediator to see if it is possible to come to some sort of agreement for this young man to marry the woman of his heart.

acidten

Don't ever leave such a sweet girl. True love transcends race & religion. Try to talk it over with your parents. Convince them that your marriage can work in today's modern day & age. I have seen so many mixed marriages (Caucasion & Indian, Chinese & Indian etc) which have turned out great. Don't give up, keep persuading your parents & your efforts will one day bear fruit.

tushar

here if he do a true love then he will say yes or he will no be a true lover.SALAAM-E-ISHQ is a good example GOVINDA's story is the same from which u r telling

Jessie M

Cover your ears....
Follow the sound of your heart.

peace

Bluelady...

Hello,
My dear life is JUST to short,
Find happiness KEEP it, Caresse it and never let it go.
Tell mom and dad," In order to have love you need to be loved"
You have raised me to be like you, taught me respect, honer, love, so then why are you trying to now teach me dishonour?
I am what you made me today, nothing will change who I am.
Please be happy for me, share my happiness of a life time, together.

Go with your heart. If you feel this strongly about the lady you love then why in god's green earth would you want to marry another? To what make 2 people so unhappy just to make 2 other people happy on paper?
Not to speak of innocent children born into a fruitless home. Without seeing happy loving parents can't be a good thing.
Sandra

Mzscorpio30

He should do what makes him happy and be ready for the negative consequences that will come about. If both he and his girlfriend are ready for those, then they should marry and be prepared to live their lives in the US.

letsget_dangerous

He should pull his head from his *** and do what he feels he needs to do to be happy. Take charge or his own destiny and get on with living.

elke

I'm sad for you too ... It's really too bad that we are bound by cultures and traditions and that family members think that this is more important than love and the happiness of their children ... And everyone that sides with the culture and tradition I feel sorry for you too because this is a matter of the heart and when one finds true love (if in fact that is what this is ) then we should go that route because WHAT is more precious than love? Its not easy to find ones soul mate . There are so many people in unhappy marriages ... Marriage is a life time committement ...do you want to be in a loveless marriage and unhappy so that when you get totally fed up you go out and cheat to satify that love you lost? ...

If you go against your parents it will be a tough struggle and you have to ask yourself will your love win over this struggle ...if you feel it can .... go for it ... if you think it will turn your life into hell then you will have to go the other way ...either way it will be difficult because if you go your parents route you could be in a very routine existence and unhappy situation and the arranged wife will also be unhappy .... and the children will be too ....

You have a very difficult situation to decide but it is your decision in the end .... I just wish people would all grow up and realize that we are all just people with the same wants and needs and we should break down the barriers and embrasse the similarities ...

I wish you well ....

maya

he should stand up for his life and happiness it is not right to please other on your expense. by time his family will accept the girl when they see that she hasn't change anything in the guys' cultural and believes(time heals hearts)

JASMINE J

U CAN'T MAKE SOMEONE FALL IN LOVE.LOVE IS SOMETHING U FEEL AT THE TIME U WANT.HIS PARENT'S NEED TO BACK OFF.I MEAN COME ON THIS GIRL IS BENDING OVER BACKWARDS FOR THEM AN IT'S NOT WORKING.THE BOY SHOULD DO WHAT HIS HEART FEELS AND DO WHAT MAKES HIM HAPPY.

Cool_chic

That made me cry.....i think he should stay firm on the ground.....that means if he really loves this girl so much then he should fight for her.....he should stick to the "i will only get married to her" attitude....anyone who is worth having is worth fighting for.....

Ganesh

If he is really so concerned for his parents. He needs to listen to their advise. However, if his heart rules his mind he needs to get married to his girl friend, come down to India, lead a successful married life in front (vicinity) of his parents and relatives and command their acceptance with time.

tony-87

i think wait some time

Smriti

He should marry the girl he likes and then perhaps when the parents see how adjusting the girl is and how she respects them and their ways in every way, they may accept her as their dil. Indian parents have this typical habit of opposing love marriage of their children on every small pretext that they can find and later accept them.

drno

why should the caucasian girl convert to hinduism? if he really loves her...he wil tell her to remain christian. why does he listen to his parents? if he is not independent in thinking, she should not marry him. then he will ditch her if his parents say so. but what am really alarmed is that the girl wants to convert to hinduism...tell her not to.

kevferg64

Inter Cultural marriages are hard no matter what they are. If they TRULY Love on another, then Pray on it (To whomever it is you pray to) If you don't feel the answer given to you, God always listens and will answer your prayers. If you love her and Marriage is what you want , then get married. But wait on the answer from God first...

Marriage is a union between a man and a woman, not a man, woman, and parents, cut the umbilical cord and go for it.

bisexualmale s

Simply marry her what else!!!! After all he has to marry not his parents & he is to spend his life with her not his parents so what to think just tell him to go ahead & marry he donâ€™t require anyoneâ€™s permission for this either in Indian laws nor any other countries law as he is adult more then 21years minimum age required for Indian Man to marry. What parents will say is that one day they will compromise with his decision as it so happens in so many similar cases which I know being an Indian & seen such drama happening in ever second home where son goes out for studies or job & get married to a foreign girl without the permission or consent of parents & after few days of family drama every thing settle down. Tell your friend to be brave hearted & marry this Caucasian girl without any delay or second thought...!!!!

Renee D

Grow up and marry whom HE chooses!!

sassy gall

IT IS NEVER EASY TO MAKE A DECISION THAT MAKES OUR PARENTS UNHAPPY. THEY LOOK AT IT AS A SLAP IN THE FACE AND ACT LIKE YOU TURNING YOUR BACK ON YOUR UPBRINGING. FOLLOW YOUR HEART AND PRAY THAT ONE DAY THEY ARE ABLE TO ACCEPT YOUR CHOICE. USUALLY WHEN GRANDCHILDREN COME ALONG, YOU WILL SEE MORE ACCEPTANCE, UNLESS THEY ARE REALLY HARD CORE.

southerngirl

Be a man and marry who he wants. I understand wanting your parents consent but sometimes you have to go ahead without it. Either him , the girl, and his parents can be unhappy or him and the girl can be happy and his parents can get over it and put their sons happiness before their own on the matter.

Ramya R

i think he shud bear eny number of difficulties, bt he shud never leave such a sweet gul.

montralia

I have a feeling that the boy you are talking about might be yourself. In any case, I believe at age 28, a man has enough wisdom to choose what is good for him and his future and this includes happiness. matches and arranged marriages sometimes lead to complete disastres. Whose happiness is important to this man ? I do not know much about the Indian culture, so as far as this is concerned I cannot give you an answer. Only on the human aspect. When two individuals love each other, everyone involved should try to understand their differences and the best way of course is through dialogue. Love conquers all!

Good luck... If this is a friend of yours try to cheer him up and tell him not to give up the dialogue.

Balthazar

As for his parents...their beliefs will kill them. He and the girl should do as they please.

allengineers21@gmail.com

Respected Sir, I am 22 years old. I am single.I am biomedical engineer. I want to get married in Armenia.Can you please help me to find best match. Thanks with best regards.

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