In need of serious advice?

alpha & omega

When you pass the point of praying, you pass into action: neglect your mother-in-law's existence. Two days ago I asked a question about in-laws and I said that the anagram for mother-in-law is :

WOMAN HITLER

What do you expect from her existence?

Sandy Ego

If your husband is unwilling to stick up for you, best you can do is ignore their behavior; it's not going to change. No need to keep getting upset over the same thing again and again. Try to stay away from them as much as you can.

regjoeschmo

Go beyond the high road, the next time they bring over gifts for your daughter and husband go out of your way to thank her for it......(this will piss her off). She is doing this because it pisses you off and she hopes it will ruin your marriage. Dont give her the satisfaction of controlling you.......

Im going to assume that your husband was pretty controlled when he was younger, and the mother hates you for "taking him away". Abusive people do stupid things when they do not get their way, understand it to overcome it. How does she treat her own husband?? She may just be an all round abusive person and you husband learned how to deal with it by not confronting her......

Never make ultimatums that you do not mean just to get your way......

lilly

Well my advice to you is stop going to her house altogether.
if she is going to treat you and your daughter like that why would you want to be around her?
my boyfriends family do not do a thing i say when it concerns my dayghter and disrespected me in everyway so i avoids going down there and am only down there about 4 times a year.
tell your husband to start respecting you to,at the end of the day he should start putting you and his daughter before his ignorant parents

Jade M

Why don't you try talking to your MIL yourself. If that doesn't help, than just blow it off. I know it hurts; I've had problems with in-laws too.If you love your husband as you say you do; I sure wouldn't let his family get in the way of that. It's a shame that they are treating you this way but don't let it ruin your marriage. Avoid the in-laws if f you have to.

chucknorris

You are considering splitting up as you're TTC yet another child? Best advice I can give is ignore your stupid MIL - but I can't believe that your husband doesn't have the balls to lay out the boundaries. It just boggles my mind.

craig b

I'm afraid that you are really stuck for you cannot control another's words, actions or behavior.
You can try to establish the proper boundaries that your husband is SUPPOSED to already have done......but if he is not going to support you and child FIRST......you are stuck.
You do not have a man for a husband but a little boy.
You feel fully wounded and justifiably so for your husband has not bound himself to you and the marriage. In doing so, he's not even really married.
Gen 2:24 tells us exactly what we are to do in marriage. "For a man shall leave his father and mother and he shall cleave unto his wife as in one-flesh". Ahh.....he has not left his family, he has not cleaved unto you.......and you wonder why you feel completely left out!
What to do?
Get the book "Boundaries" and see where you can START protecting your own self for your husband's only concern is himself.

bonnie

You can't make your husband do anything he doesn't want to do. But it's better if you just stay away from your in-laws because it's hurting you, and your marriage. Just stay away from them. As for your husband and daughter let them go visit your in-laws. You don't have to go.Stay away. Don't make your husband choose sides because you'll be creating distance between he, and his family, and you never know maybe he'll blame it on you someday.

LaLALALA

First off cute baby! Ok here is what you do ignore, ignore, ignore and act like they don't exist it's hard at first but trust me it can be done! Just show no mind to them just go about your biz and do your thing. When they have something going on don't go if your husband goes fine. But you and the baby should not go it's uncool how they are treating your baby. They act like one child is more important than the other that's just gross in my opinion.
You got to love the low life idiots that talk about a person behind their back because they don't have the ball to say it to your face. That alone my dear is telling you they are not even worth your time. Screw em all! Now it's time to act like they don't even exist and go about your every day norm. If your husband brings them up listen or give your advice or opinion on it then let it be.
Tell your husband your done with that part of your lives and our no longer going to deal with their BS ways.
Don't let this end your marriage then they won! Give them what they deserve ignore them!

lady_phoenix39

Seems to me that the problem here is NOT just that someone (in-laws) are being rude. There wouldn't be ANY problem if you didn't take offense at what they do.

When they bring over stuff for your hubby and kids, be HAPPY for your hubby and kids and make a big deal about how nice they are to do nice things for others.

When they "talk behind your back".....DON'T LISTEN TO THE PERSON WHO TELLS YOU ABOUT IT. That's called gossiping and gossip is the playground of SMALL MINDS. Who cares what anyone says behind your back??????? If they want to be small, then fine, but you don't have to be. Make sure you remember THEIR birthdays, even if it's something as simple as sending a card (and meaning it).

Look....this didn't just start today. You weren't getting along with them and suddenly they hated you.....you KNEW what they wree like before you got married......so be a good wife and a good mother, and BE NICE to everyone else.

DO UNTO OTHERS what you would want them to do to you.

Even if they don't.....at least you can hold your head up and say you didn't go through life trying to hurt or get back at people.

QueenBee

You've been part of his family for 4 years now, you need to talk to his mother. If he won't confront her, you will have to stand up for yourself. Nicely tell her how you fee and ask her why she does these things. Make her discuss the issues. Your husband needs to understand that when a couple marries they become one and he needs to separate himself from his parents. Threatening your husband is not helping your marriage. If you call her on her actions, maybe she will get embarrassed and correct her actions, if not she is going to miss her grandchild growing up.

Maddi

Im sure your husband is a great man, but what kind of husband lets his family treat his wife and child that way. He would rather avoid a little family confrontation than to resolve this situation causing you so much stress and fustration. If he won't do something, then you need to. Step up to his mother and the rest of the family. Then if that don't work, do like thay say. If you can't beat em, ' join em'. Show tham you can be just as nasty as they are. Or just refuse to do anything that would envolve his family.

Ms. GTO

He either has to cut the apron strings or deal with losing you- it's that simple. When a couple marries, they "forsake all others" and "cleave unto one another". That means Mommy and Daddy don't get to run your life anymore. If he can't realize that, maybe it's time to cut and run. And, it's totally not fair to your daughter (who, if that's her in your avatar pic, is adorable!) for her grandparents to shun her like that.

jassylove3

I am sorry you are going through this but I think you just need stay away from them and try to ignore them as much as possible..
think about YOUR FAMILY and tell your husband you aren't going ANYWHERE near his family until HE is willing to stick up for you..
JUST THINK ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY AND HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO WORK THINGS OUT WITH YOUR HUSBAND..
BY THE WAY YOU ARE MARRIED TO HIM NOT HIS FAMILY.

Amber

I went through the exact situation in my past marriage. It is not the reason we split up, but yes it causes so much stress within the couple and no the men will rarely say a word to their parents. What i finally did rather than fighting or going over to their home feeling like an outsider I just told my x how I felt and let him know he was welcome to take the kids over to his parents and continue to have a relationship with them, but I was going to have no part of it. I never said a word about them and at first he was going over there alone or with the kids, but that is when he finally started to really see the truth. They started to bad talk me and put me down even in front of my children, and the fact that i wasn't there made him feel he had to stand up for me. In the end he saw their true colors and admitted that he was wrong and should have done something about it much sooner than he did. Of course his parents still didn't see their wrong, they seldom do, but it ended the stress between us because he could see how it really was. Just make sure u don't bad mouth them, and your husband will miss u being there and will hopefully confront his parents in the end. Remember we marry the man, not his family, and if u don't like them and they are causing probs in the marriage its time to end it with THEM, not him. good luck : )

vickybabes

no they dont do they obviously u are not goo d enough for their son i would accept that they wont change unless u make them but it wont last so live your life knowing this and do the best u can for yours make them want to know you and be above them u can do it cos u know the truth ok sweet xxxx

VHE123

Seriously I really don't understand what the issue here? So your in laws hates you....SO WHAT and WHO CARES?

You have your own life and your own family to deal with...why care so much what they think or if they would visit?

Honestly -- I don't like my inlaws either and I don't think they like me. But it's not a big deal for me at all...they don't know when my birthday is and I don't know when is their birthday.

They don't need to know about your birthday...as long as your husband remembers your special day.

I think you are letting something very small and unworthy to get in between your marriage. Unless you live with them and/or they live with you...then you can tell him that either to take you away or you are going to leave.

alicia555

i'd say talk to her yourself. if hes not going to do anything, and you dont wana split your family then it is your only choice. just be calm but frank. say you know that she goes out of her way to make you feel like an out cast and it is uncalled for. weather she likes it or not you are her daugher in law and part of her family. she can either accept that and try to be a bigger part of your life and bond, or stop being so rude.

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