Is It Always "The Other Woman's" Fault?

elchistoso69

There is NEVER any justification for cheating on someone.
NEVER.

If you aren't happy with the person you've chosen, leave them. Then you can sleep with whomever you want to.

Chances are that this guy is feeding youur sister a line of BS so she won't be as likely to think he's a cad.

But a cad he definitely is.

So is your sister. True, if he wasn't cheating with her, he'd just be boning some other girl, but even if what he says about his wife is true, she isn't helping things. She is just as much of a moral worm as he is.

If that guy is unhappy with his wife, he should either try to fix things or leave. It is just as wrong to sleep with someone who is married as it is to sleep around when you are the one who is married.

I'm an atheist, so I don't think anyone will go to hell for it, but it is a good way to leave this life. Lots of people have been killed over things like this. My ex-wife was a tramp, and cheated on me every chance she got. She also badmouthed me behind my back, saying things that were totally untrue. Who is going to tell me what she's been up to if they believe her fabrications about me and think I deserve it? She lied about me to keep other people from telling on her. My ex-wife has had more hands up her dress than the Muppets. I know how it feels to be the one cheated on. Why would I do that to someone else?

It's also a good way to wind up being shot or stabbed.

El Chistoso

Â¤Â»Sarrah

Both their fault. I hope some girl seduces your sisters future husband

ViSaja

It's not your sister's business whether the cheater's wife is satisfying him or not. She should stay out of their marriage and respect the sacred bond that marriage is. Karma is a boomerang. Hope she knows how to duck when it comes back around to her one day when she least expects it.

BabeHeart

The person who cheats is at fault, period...no matter how terrible one's relationship is they can choose to end it rather than become a cheater.

However, this doesn't take all responsibility off the single playmate of the cheater. That person is condoning cheating and thus saying it's okay if they are cheated on in the future. Bad karma...but being human, we tend to be able to justify just about anything we want to do (whether our justification has any solid basis or not).

starryeyed

she is at fault, she is willingly contributing to interrupting their marriage. Yes its his fault too but this does not excuse her she has no business being with a married man

J'adore

Your sister's action aren't really the best. It's is a little bit dishonest to be sleeping with a married man.

However, I completely agree that it's the man fault. Ultimately, he made the decision to cheat. Your sister is right, she isn't forcing him to do anything. His decisions are his own.

If it wasn't your sister, it would be another women. This man knows he has a wife and he knows the consquences.

If my hubby was cheating, I would not blame the other women. I would question her morals, but would I hunt her down and b!tch her out.

NO!!

I'd be disgusted with my husband who made a legal and spiritual commitment to me in marriage. I would be betrayed by him and completely blame him.

If he wasn't happy in our marriage, he could have handled it differently. That's why there is marriage counseling and divorce.

I would blame him for doing something he knew was wrong and dishonest toward me. It's not the other women.

Men are big boys and capable of making their own decisions. Cheating men have their wives' pictures in the back of their mind. But, they still don't care. Are you going to tell me that disrespect and lack of uncaring is the "other womans" fault. No, it's the husbands.

Also, a man can't be secuded unless he wants to be. I'm sure LOTS of men have been secuded by women and have said, "F-off, I'm married." Cheating is a choice. Seduction is an excuse.

arvindrenamed

You know we should just abolish marriage all together and go on five year contractual agreements. Not romantic but as a society we are a joke. No commitment to anything. I can't even commit to myself.

lwomar

No, its both parties fault. But he is the one that took the marriage vows so he is really in trouble with more than just his wife. No she is not forcing him, but she is a homewrecker and helping him to destroy his marriage. His wife could be satisfying him, catering to him and everything a husband would desire, but he just has this need to go elsewhere, and there was your sister to be the convenient one.

Miss Blue & Riley too.

omg if my sister said that i'd slap her down.

It's the husbands fault for not being man enough to tell his wife "hey, we have issues" or "we need to split up"

He's taking the easy way out and so is your sister. Blaming someone else for something YOU are doing, makes it easier for you to cope.

How does your sister like being "a homewrecker" obviously doesn't mind it. And the man who is cheating on his wife is a poor excuse for a man.

I'm really sorry but if that was my sister I would be royaly pee'd off and probably wouldn't speak to her. Might sound extreme but what she is doing is dreadful.

that judi

Affairs are rarely about intimacy issues. I never understood blaming the "other" person in an affair....the person you exchanged vows with (ans the cheater) is the person who is violating the vows. The other person in the affair is a willing participant and capable of making choices, even horribly bad ones. Having an affair is never a wise nor healthy choice and the cheater will usually blame everyone before he/she takes any responsibility for it himself (herself).

justagorilla

if the lovelife in the marriage is bad, I wouldn't want to be in it. does not mean I would cheat, though. if your sister was in the other woman's shoes, It would ironic justice. your sister is a tramp.
the man is at fault...

free_angel

Your sister wants to justify her wrong actions.

nicky

Its everyones fault. the spouse whocheats for not going to his or her partner and communicating there a problem first and the other lover or significant other for dealing with anyone who says they are married.....i've heard it before.."we have problems' but who doesnt... what is that other person going to do for that relationship but make matters worse. I met my ex while he was having problems with his wife...and 3yrs later they are still married with more problems and i got what?????? F u kk e d in the end......

Dave

They are both at fault. I am sure one day your sister will be cheated on.

whyteangel11

What your sister does not realize is no man will turn down free pus.....y. Not having enough intimacy in a marriage is not the problem, men find any reason to stray if another woman offers. It is up to each individual to respect and value your partner and do unto them as you would want them to do unto you. I don't believe you can get an honest answer from a man on this question.

Neto

its kinda sad tht your sis ter sees it that way it true she not making him do any thing he doesnt want to but she didnt stop him ither.... she knew about his situation and should of said you know this isnt right you have a wife at home.. instade of being with the gut.. and no its not the wives fault at alll! its her horny husbands fault for not being able to wrk things out with his wife and your sisters fault for going along with this relationship when she knew it was wrong to begin with ...

KarmaComesToYou!

No, society always wants to blame women for some reason. The hubby who cheats is the one MARRIED, so he is making the biggest mistake. He's the one who made the commitment. Now check out this question, please:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnXsUbLuEF54JlxN74R.5tjsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20071208135236AARuAO9

shebae

IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO . WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND . YOUR SISTER IS A BOOTY CALL , NOTHING MORE AND HE MOST LIKLY WOULDNT THINK OF LEAVING HIS WIFE. CANT YOUR SISTER GET A MAN OF HER OWN? A WOMAN WHO DATES A MARRIED MAN ISNT CONSIDERED MUCH.

truly

The other woman is at fault for being such a loser that she has to have a married and unavailable man. The man is at fault for breaking his vows. The wife may or may not be at fault depending on how she was treating her husband before all of this happened.

Neishi

I do believe what your sister is doing is morally wrong. But it is not her relationship she is hurting she does not actually have to be faithful. Why is it always the woman who gets the blame if the situation was switched the woman would still be looked down upon badly more so then the male. I think you should ask your sister if she really wants to be with this man and if so if he can do this to his wife he will certainly do it to her as soon as their relationship falls into a rut.

MysticalMisty

I guess technically she is not holding a gun to his head..... but she is part of the problem. And she really does not know what is going on between him and his wife. His wife may be the sweetest and most intimate gal in the world...but the guy just cannot be satisfied with one woman. Which if he cares about anyone but himself...should leave and be with the one he wants. And who knows...maybe your sis is not the only "other woman" either. Then what would she say? She can't satisfy him either? The most to blame is the one cheating.... but the other person...also knows what they are doing is wrong.

its all the people involved flat

leopard lady

It takes two here...I'm sure this man didn't put a gun to your sister's head and force her to sleep with him, so it's just as much her fault as it is his. Marriage is sacred, your sister should be ashamed of herself. And I don't care what type of person his wife is, no one deserves to be cheated on.

Candle Queen

I say both are at fault. It's the husband's fault for wanting to go outside of the marriage instead of trying to fix what's broken between he and his wife. It's the other woman's fault because "if" she knows he's married and continues a relationship with him that's a definite no no and she should have more about herself than to want to be in 2nd place.

joyh

It's a common assumption that a man would not stray if he was getting 'enough' at home. But, affairs DO happen in happy marriages. Many of those men can and do get all they want at home. They don't want to leave the wife, or they would have already.

Many affairs are more about external validation for the man. A self indulgent ego boost. It's something within HIM that is lacking. Yes, he is the one who took the vows, he is the one betraying his wife. So, the majority of 'blame' is on him. Is he enjoying having his cake and eating it to? A boost to a poor self esteem, the rush of a new relationship, the fantasy of a secret life. So, he has proved himself to be a lier, so your sister is getting a great guy right now. He lies to his wife and family, he lies to her about his wife to justify his behavior. It's easier to rationalize your behavior if you vilianize the innocent spouse. Having an affair is HIS choice. He is asking your sister to live in the shadows of his marriage. I'm sure he has loads of excuses as to why he hasn't left yet. There are many classic ones, such as he stays for the children, his wife is unstable, he is just waiting for the right time......the list goes on.

Statistically, the majorities of affairs fall apart when exposed and the wayward spouse has to face the consequences. Of those that do result in marriage, there is a much higher divorce rate. That's not my opinion, it's just the way it is. A relationship that starts out with a foundation of lies, deception and hurting others has a weak start.

Your sister is aware he is married. She is part of this deception. She can rationalize it all she wants, but she is a part of this ugly game of her own free will. She assumes that he will leave his wife, but the time may come when she finds out that he may choose his wife. Or, when exposed, he will end up dumping her and then starting over with another woman all together that wasn't a part of this destruction. He cheats on his wife, he is a high risk man to cheat on her.

So, I would say the 'fault' is with the wayward spouse. But, she is an enabler, so that makes her a part of his behavior also. The wife had no choice in this, so she is a victim, If her husband has problems or they share some real life issues, then her husband had all kinds of choices. He could have found other ways to work on improving things, he could get out of the marriage, file for divorce before he drug other people into this mess.

Sam's bride

These kinda of questions always bring alot of ppl reflections from their own experiences, but i agree it is the husbands fault, he is the one committed NOT HER. She has the best seat in the house. Believe it !

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