Is he too serious for me?

The guy I'm dating is compassionate, volunteers, politically active, involved in many community organizations. An all around great person.

We get along well, have a good flow of conversation. But we've only been on two dates and he's VERY serious. He's asks deep personal questions, wants to have discussions about the meaning of life, when we've felt the most in touch with God. I have huge amounts of respect for him but we literally just met.

On our dates, I try to relax but feel like I'm being "tested". That if I admit to enjoy going out for a fun night of drinks with the girls, he'll look down on me. Even with movies, he tries to analyze each scene and have an in-depth discussion. He interrupts fun times & laughter with philosophical questions. I'm not sure how to handle it. I'm very passionate and know when to be serious but overall, I'm lighthearted and carefree.

He's an AMAZING person. As much as we connect and have the same beliefs, I feel like I can't been 100% myself. I'm 24, young, and don't feel the need to be so serious all the time. I want someone that has a lot of depth but can also grab a hotdog, beer, and go to a baseball game. Should I continue to see him?
Additional Details
He laughs and when we're joking, I love the time we spend. It's just he always goes back to being so "deep". I cant decide if it's too much.

blueberry

omg you need someone who knows how to laugh and let go of all the serious stuff at one point of the day

Mandi P

As we get older... women realize to always TRUST OUR GUT INSTINCT. If you are feeling like you cant be yourself around him now..it is only going to get more so and worse.

Id be careful ...from past experience, he may seem like a good catch but could end up being controlling or just not right for you in the end.

Have fun but use the women's intuition!

Em C

That is good, and sometimes it is probably okay to have a serious guy, but if you don't feel like you're getting what you want from the relationship then he isn't rigth for you. However I'd give him a few more dates before you decide, and bring it up, maybe invite him to a baseball game yourself and buy the tickets, beer and hot dog for him! He may surprise you. He if knows you like those things, and he likes you, then he won't say no. Everyone likes to try something new, or something different that they normally don't get it, and it is just another way to get to know each other better. Give and Take!

Jane Marple

Ask him if he'd like to go with you to a Big Truck Rally or at the Fair or any places where you need to go dressed in jeans and expect to get dirty, drink beer and laugh.

Kimberly G Momma of 1+baby bakin

If you feel you can't be 100% yourself then why waste your time?

You're 24, still young and enjoy hanging out with the girls...If you feel that you would be looked down upon I wouldn't take it a step further.

It's not fun to feel like you're being tested either, been there done that, hopefully won't do it again.

As far as him being too serious for you? I believe you answered your own question honey.

I think you be honest with him: "Look, I'd love to get philosophical about this some other time, but can we just sit back and enjoy the moment for a bit?"

If it's not okay, then I think you just let him know that as good as the connection is where it works, you need someone who's going to connect with your lighthearted side as well. "Failing" the test doesn't matter if you have to give the answers that he wants instead of the ones that you think are right in order to pass.

originata

You two are simply different, but if you feel like you can't be yourself then stop deluding yourself into believing that you have a deep connection with him. How could you if you're not completely being yourself? Also you are lying to him by not letting him know who you are, and wasting both of your time if he wouldn't approve.

I am like him. I don't like wasting time with small talk and love have meaningful conversation. Perhaps he's too intellectual for you, but perhaps you two could balance each other. If you don't like the way he is, don't expect him to be like you.

chik7896

Okay if he looks down on you about having a few drinks with the girls, imagine how he would act if the two of you stayed together and got married! Honey you would be a nun!

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