Is he wrong?

Melissa R

work out, get a fabulous body and then leave him. Or just get a daytime job and then he will have to help around the house fifty fifty

redbeansandrice

That is a horrible way to treat the woman that you love and who has given birth to your kids. He needs to back off. Maybe he should trade places with you for a day. How rude.

roxy

thats really rude of him, go talk with him about how the things he says effect you and hurt you. and tell him that it hurts your feelings when he says such negative comments

morganslilone

Sometimes we gain weight when were unhappy so your hubby could be part of the reason.

Sylvia H

tell him to get off his fat *** and cook a few meals and run the vacuum or better yet, hire a cleaning lady for you. then go join weight watchers or a gym.

dnzsvn

of course he is wrong

Mom madness

Yes he is wrong. You dont deserve the verbal abuse. Change but for yourself not him. If you are a stay at home mom/housewife then yes you should keep that house clean. If you work then hire a maid to come once or twice a week. You can get a maid for like $50.00 a week. Not bad. Keep yourself up, get your nails and feet done, dress clean, doesnt have to be in style or expensive but neat and clean. Do your hair. No one wants to come home to someone sloppy and not well kept. Good luck with the weight loss I know how hard that can be.

Thomas S

You need to get your husband to support you. You are trying to loose the weight and that is good because feeling healthy is important. But hey it's a process. He needs to realize that your attitude matters supremely. If you are made to feel little then you will lack the strength to improve. If you are encouraged and supported then you can accomplish much.
This is all a matter of life style and energy. You want to change so I'm sure the energy will come. Try visiting your nearest book store. While there check out books in the interer design section about organizing space. you should get great tips there. Get books on cooking healthy and start educating yourself in diets that suit your body and temperment. And MAN o MAN if your husband starts complaining about the meals you prepare, stop by the nearest home depot and buy him a dog house to stay in for a while. But there should be tasty things to cook. Also try to find ways of exercising the interest you. Surpisingly very little increases of activity can make a big difference. Like walking to the store.

Most of all though stay committed and don't tolerate anything but support from your husband. Do this because you want to.

Angel Eve

Ok.... Im going to SOOO get ridiculed for this. But I just had a lecture with a womens psycologist about how marriages have changed in the past 10 years..specifically. This is what she said. She said that honesty in relationships is becoming more accepted. We all thought she was being stupid when she said that... I mean... accepted... when was it NOT accepted right? Well she goes on to say that couples are now telling eachother that if things dont change, they will cheat, which gives the other person a chance to change first. And that this was a GOOD THING because if a woman is told by her man that if she doesnt change, he is going to cheat or leave, then she has an opportunity to change. Be it, cleaning up around the house, organizing bills, being better at taking care of herself, at least she is given the opportunity to do something. So that later on down the rd, instead of him cheating and ending things on such a bad note, maybe they can salvage their relationship. If he is telling you to do something... THEN DO IT if you want to be together. I dont agree that he has any right to think you are going to be PERFECT, but you dont have the right to think he just has to accept it. If you know these things are problems... FIX THEM, or LOSE HIM! Its your choice. Good luck to you.

lola

He is so wrong! I'm sure there are things about him that you hate but you hold back to spare his feelings. You need to talk to him about it, tell him how it makes you feel and hopefully he will quit. Also you can work on your end and help yourself! It will help you gain more confidence and feel better.

prettyblueeyes101010

Well first of all you shouldn't have to put up with that kind of attitude from your husband nor should he be saying those remarks to you. Those are the type of things you hear from the kids of school who make fun of others because of their differences. I really suggest you get into counseling with him. If he isn't willing go by yourself, but make it a mental note that he isn't willing to help you. In order to lose weight you need to be happy with yourself first; and your husband constantly putting you down is just more unneeded stress. At least take a day to yourself.

Chanel

Wow!! He sounds pretty harsh!
He's not your boyfriend or anything, so I guess I can't tell you to dumb him! But...you should definitely have a talk with him and tell him your TRUE feelings. Let him know you feel it's like verbal abuse when he belittles you like that, and that it's more discouraging than encouraging to you.

If he doesn't do anything to change his behavior...or not even try, try going to counseling, and then go from there...

Best of hopes to you!

ronnie

Ok, first off have you told him how much it bothers and hurts you when he behaves like this? If you have already done this, then you need to start working on yourself. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself happy. If that means hiring a personal trainer (and make him pay for it) then do it. If you want to go out into the world and get a job then do it! (He can hire a nanny or find child care too) You have no business sitting at home and being miserable nor should you ever have to put up with someone talking down to you. If he is ashamed of you so be it. Do you love yourself is what is important. If he refuses to support you than it's time for the divorce papers. The world has so much to offer. Go do it.

Michelle

He is the one with the problem, not you. Can you have a professional organzier come to your house to get you back on track? What about a maid that would come once a week? Your husband has no idea what pregnancy does to a womens mind, body and soul. He needs to support. If my man ever said that to me or treated me that way, he would be gone...you need to learn to stand up for yourself. If all else fails, you may need to see a professional. Good luck and keep your head up!

jude D

maybe he should be a bit nicer about how he communicates to you but the truth is this. if you don't want to end up losin ghim then get your act together.

you have kids, have enough respect for them and your husband to keep the house clean for them. this doesn't mean it has to be perfect, just livable. remember, you are teaching your children how to live by the way you live. do you want to raise slobs?

yes he has to accept that it will never be perfect, either that or leave, but if he sees you making no effort to meet his needs then what real incentive does he have to stay?

*â™¥Mrs. Morrowâ™¥*

He's not exactly wrong, but he's not exactly right either.

With some people you have to be harsh and mean to get them to get up and move their @$$es, but with other people, kind hearted support does the trick.

I had a teacher in school that took the "be mean, and bust their @$$es" approach, and I am not one of those people that takes to that kind of "support" so to make a long story short, I am still no good at math!!!

I am overweight myself, and my husband is the kind-hearted support system I need. The fact that he tells me that I'm beautiful the way that I am makes me want to work harder to improve myself for him. I was 195 when we met, and after I moved in with him, and over 2 hours from my family, the stress of not knowing my way around, not knowing anyone around here, and not being around my family anymore along with having no job and having to sit at home all day contributed to my gaining weight, I got up to 240, and am now down to 215.

I've always been a big kid, I'm 19 now, and have high hopes of getting my eight down more, soon.

You need to talk to your husband, and tell him how you are motivated, tell him that being mean and making fun of you will never make you the woman he wants you to be. And that you didn't marry him so that he can ridicule you about every pound you gain or every minute it takes you to get ready.

mj_jll

he is really out of place for acting like a child. he is a grown man, he should be able to tell you instead of playing games. i also probably certain that he has packed on a few pounds as well, so he should not be complaining about anything

golden rider

If he is tring to feel sorry for himself and he says it's because of you, then my dear he has no respect for you as a mother and a wife. Try reminding him that he married you for better or for worse and that you are doing what you can to loose the weight and that maybe the house would not be quite as much of a mess if he would stop egging on you and get off his *** and help you instead of being such a cridic. If you have children, there is going to be a mess and you should not have to keep up with it all. A marriage is a joint venture and if he can't see this, then he needs get some type of counceling. Maybe you should get a job and then if he wants to poke fun, you can throw up in his face that you are working too and then he has no right to make fun, even if you are overweight. I am overweight and I have the attitude that if someone doesn't like the way I look, turn their head the other way and shutup. If you have had children, never be ashamed of yourself in any manner. You have done something that he can't do and should be proud. He might even be a little jealious of you because he works and you don't. Ask him. He may not admitt to it, but I would be willing to guess that this is part of the problem. Start asking him questions about what's bothering you. He might surprise you and give you some answers you can work with, but don't give him an inch as far as him teasing you. The getting mad sounds like he is either feeling sorry for himself or he is feeling guilty about something. Has he ever given you any reason to think he might be having an affare? That's just not right in any book.

blessnevapet

Well meet him half way start taking a little time out everyday to take care of yourself. get up and hour earlier if you have to. Also talk to him let him know it bothers you and that you don't like the way he treats you. But first you need to like yourself and like the skin your in. Tell him that if he'll go work out with you you'll got to the gym. If he pays to get your hair and nails done you'll get them done.

girl first thing u need to do is work on urself. You agree that u are a little disorganized so work on that. Do not give him any reason to ridicule you. Also work on your self-esteem. do not let him put you down like that. it is not your fault that u gained weight after birth. it happens to most mothers. he should be offering to help you around the house instead of making fun of you or maybe offering to go to the gym with you (am sure he grew a pot belly too). he is not right on any level and he needs to grow up. right now he should be treating you like a queen just for being the mother of his kids. Please talk to him about it and if he doesn't change then am sorry he doesn't deserve you anyway.

Wundt

I think he is wrong to be so critical. But, it is possible that he has a valid point (he is just not expressing that point particularly well).

It sounds like you do not have much self respect. You need to take pride in something and be your own person. This will not only make you feel better, but will likely also rekindle your husband's feelings as well. I have known many larger women who are beautiful because they have confidence and purpose.

I'm sorry. I was in this kind of relationship. I got so burnt out on him saying my butt and tummy were fat.... I went to the gym a few times, changed some eating habits... ya da ya da THEN I MOVED ON (still same weight and size as before) and my husband says I am perfect. Some guys are heartless and a*sholes. I did everything around the house, watched his kid (from prev. relationship) plus my daughter while he went out and took my vehicle that I had before we got together plus did the chores, cooked, helped with homework and I worked F/T! He worked P/T as a bartender... A*shole!!!! I am so glad I got a real MAN.... maybe you should start thinking about if it is all worth it.

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