Is it Cheating if........?

Dino

You haven't cheated, but one phrase you made should scare the hell out of you. You said, "I guess I still have feelings (for) him ..." That statement alone should set alarms off in your head (and probably did, that's why you're asking). I think if you value your marriage that you will avoid this one guy. You're not over him, he can't be JUST a friend. You two will slip up and ruin your marriage.

If you didn't have feelings for this guy my answer could be totally different (yeah, you're always going to have love for them, but you must be careful how that comes out), but I say better safe than sorry. Your marriage is worth protecting from someone who's just a friend.

Shelly

Ok stop and back up the truck...'I still have feelings for him'

You have just embarked on the road to ruin. If you were truly. madly and deeply in love with your husband you would not have 'feelings' for him - unless they were feelings of friendship and nothing else. If that is the case, have at it...if you are discussing deep and meaningful things and you take comfort in the ability to be able to talk to him instead of your husband ....give yourself a good shake, you are in deep sh*t.

Kitty

If you didn't think it was a "big deal", you wouldn't have even thought to ask this question. I'm guessing it feels "wrong" to you. If it does, then don't do it. I'm guessing that the ex "all of a sudden" wants to talk to you because something has gone wrong in his love life, and he's looking for an ego boost. Whether or not you want to continue the conversations is up to you. I keep in touch with lot of people I used to date, but it usually boils down a few e-mails a year, now that I'm married I don't have much of an interest in really "talking" to them. I have my husband to talk to.

Zippy

Its not cheating. I think its fine to talk to your ex. Make sure your husband is aware of it. Make sure you dont get too close and comfy with your ex though!

OnTheProwl007

no, as long as you are just talking there is nothin wrong with it but you should be careful if he feels that way about you because something can end up happening

2princesses

As long as your husband is aware of it and OK with it then it is not cheating.

christine23

no if you guys are just talking its fine

heather_honey_2002hs

nope

salsa

its not cheating its very normal

cathoratio

I think it is a waste of time.

Why even open doors to temptation. If you love your husband and he is your best friend, maybe this talking time could be better spent talking to your husband.

My ex calls me once in awhile for specific issues, I'm in finance and he trusts me for advice when he has investment issues. But we don't really chit-chat.

Frankly I would just rather chat with my current BF.

scram

theres a very fine line that has to respected ,you could end up with a whole lotta heart ache !

Adamsmommy86

Well, if your husband is friends with most of his exes then i don't see why it should be wrong and no it is not cheating to be friends with an ex. Afterall it is ok your hubby has ex girlfriends as friends i think you should be allowed to remain friends with this guy.

Monica C

No it's not cheating, so long as you only talk, and your husband is aware of it. As long as your husband is okay with it, then this should be fine, and not an issue. Maybe your ex misses the friendship that you and he had those 3 years ago before things went bad. You were with your ex for a reason, and he's an ex for another reason. But you are committed and have taken your vows with your husband because he loves, supports and trusts you, and that is all that matters.

hcj25

i guess the way i always see things is would you want your husband to do it to you. If you wouldnt care if he did it than in your eyes its probably not wrong!

jesusnkittylover

if you still have feelings for this guy then stop talking. it could ruin your relationship. it's cheating if you are thinking about him as more than a friend.

S c a l p e r

No!

Katie

It's not cheating if you don't do anything that would ruin your marriage. If you are ever concerned about it then think "If i told my husband about this would he be upset?" if it is, you're cheating. if he totally trusts you and wouldn't be upset what you're doing isn't. don't be afraid to ask his feelings about the ex issue.

Deep Thought

As long as it's above board and all the players know each other (No secret rendevous. No creeping behind other people's back) it should be ok.

SGT. Dillers Wifey

as long as it is just talking and your husband knows about it. if you have to ask yourself if it is cheating though you probally shouldnt do it.

Cassandra G

Here's the criteria:

Would you do it in front of your husband?
Would your husband get upset about it if he knew about it?
Do you attempt to convey the idea that more is to come?
Are you lying or deliberately being vague about your situation so the other person has a lopsided view?

If your husband knows, is okay with it, you like staying friends and don't pretend anything else is going to happen AND if you don't start ragging on your situation to your friend or lying about your situation then it is okay.

CrazyChick

I think the fact that you've thought about it enough to ask about it says that you probably shouldn't be doing it.

You're justifying it, which is a common reaction to feeling guilty about something.

Personally, I don't think dredging this up is worth the hassle it could cause.

I also think that if you wouldn't tell your husband about it up front, you probably aren't as okay with it as you might think you are.

kati

It's not a big deal. My opinion is if you were with someone for so long you have that connection with them and it won't go away no matter how hard you try to make it. My ex and I still talk and we were together for 2 1/2 yrs but he cheated on me and got married 2 months later. Yea I want to choke him but if I didn't give him what he wanted then I think it's best. But if you love your husband and have no feelings for your ex you're okay and it's not cheating!!!

nancybuck8

No that's not cheating. I would let your husband know that you ran into him though. That would be the proper thing to do. No secrets you know.

Kate

no...it's not cheating you are just friends
don't let anything happen though

Maricel S

As long as your husband knows about it and is okay with it, then it isn't cheating. The only time it will become a problem is if you feel a need to hide it from your spouse.

Rose

No it's not cheating

wiser 1

Ask your husband this question or better yet introduce him to your husband. And if you still have feelings for this man stay away from him and let by gones be by gones and how would you feel if your husband started chatting away with one of his ex's? put the shoe on the other foot and you must feel something is not right since you are asking this question in the first place.

beautifuldisaster

It sounds fine now...but what about when your husband and yourself are in a big fight and then he goes out of town? Normal couples have fights all the time but with this guy that you have "feelings" for in the picture it makes it a sticky sitation. If your husband talks to his exes then it might be different. Why don't you talk with your husband about and if he doesn't like it then yall can both stop but if your husband doesn't care and wants to continue his relationship with his exes then continue the relationship with your ex. Personally I wouldn't allow this even with my boyfriend mabye I have a jeolosy problem? Everyone is different though! If you know that you are hotter then her I wouldn't stress! (ha ha ha)

KristenCO

Definitely ask your husband how it makes him feel. You wouldn't want to hurt someone you love for someone it didn't work out with several years ago.

I don't think it's cheating, but it might not be "appropriate". I also wonder why you asked?? I'm guessing something about it doesn't seem quite right to you, or you're feeling guilty, or there's something more to your history with this man.... otherwise you wouldn't be asking?

It is possible to "emotionally" cheat on your husband... I guess you have to ask yourself what emotions you're having to make you even wonder if you're cheating.

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