Is it appropriate for a woman from the office to call a married man on his personal time?

69 BABE

Well i talk to married men all the time and if she wasn't after your husband she is now that you are causing all this drama,..

Lesson one jealous insecure wife means week marriage

that tells loose trampy women they can move in for the kill.

Shell_Belle

You need to let your husband handle this one. Otherwise word will get around (by her) that you're crazy and jealous and over-reacting. She won't say anything if he tells her to back off.

Vegito

Unless your husband is giving of some kind of "screw me" sign....naw I can't lie. The problem is.. your husband is oblivious to what is going on. I think she is hitting on your man. The problem is your man doesn't see it. Trust me, we guys don't get it because we don't understand little hints, big hints, subtle hints etc. He won't realize it until she has him set up. Try and meet this woman and see what she is about. Don't involve you man in anyway. We are not programed to pick this kind of stuff up....until it happens to us and it is too late. Good Luck and fight for you man if he is worth the war.

orange c

A b+tch at my ex's work did that, and now they are a couple.

Sorry, maybe your man is better.

sounds like this lady digs your husband. he must be a cool guy. so here is what you do. go to an office function, like a happy hour or other work festivity and go up and introduce yourself to her as your husband's wife. when you are introduced to her, just say, "oh yeah - you're that girl that calls all the time just to say hey." then be really nice to her. she is probably a very sad person who cannot find a man for herself because of some issues that she has. she has identified your man as a good one which is a compliment to your taste in men. I would feel sorry for her more than anything.

Brown Water Drinker

Well...............how are they going to know when to meet.

Heisenberg

Honestly? I dont think you have anything to worry about with this woman.

It sounds like the two of them are friends. Is it appropriate for a married man to have a female friend? I honestly dont think so. But, is it inappropriate for a married man to maintain a friendship that is interfering with his marriage? No, it's not.

But you have to understand, women and men really can be just friends. Your feeling of jealously is totally normal, though. After all, this woman knows a side of your husband that you will likely never know and has experiences, professional experiences and accomplishments, with your husband that you will never experience with him.

If I was in your shoes, I dont know that I'd feel any different. But, is your dislike of this person based on that or is it based on you feeling that her having a friendship with your husband really isnt appropriate?

am_bam_brat

wow sounds like something is up there
I owuld check it out if I was you

Mrs. Brooks

Ask your husband why she's the only one who ever calls him on his personal time. That's weird.

jammer

humm,, interesting....if they are just "friends" that work together then why doesn't he introduce you to her? I would tell him that if they are such good friends that she can call him on his personal time, then that you two need to be introduced,and see how that goes over with him. Or next time she calls, don't just answer and hang up, just answer it and let her know who you are, try to have a conversation with her, and listen to her tone and tell if you can sense anything in her voice!

Neonzeus

Does husband get calls from other coworkers too? If so, everyone may just be unusually friendly. If not, he has somehow encouraged this particular coworker to think he wants to be friendly outside of the workplace.

He can tell her that his weekends are so full that he doesn't have time to talk so he'd appreciate it if she'd wait until the following week. He has to draw a boundary, just like he would with anyone who is intruding on family time.

IMO, your anger is missplaced. You also can't assume she's out to break up your marriage (she might just be lonely, older and ready to retire, very unattractive, etc. -- unless you meet her, you don't know if she's just looking for a work friend or a boyfriend...). Either way, she wouldn't be calling if he asked her only to call on weekends if it's a work emergency. He has given her the message that it's ok, and in respect of your feelings, he should fix it fast.

Sport

Unless he told her it's okay, it's inappropriate for her to assume it is.

Aunt Rose

I see nothing wrong with it she's grown woman and he's a grown man they can do what they want.

lovebeinamum

Even thouhg they all have been given free phones that's no reason for her to have his number! very wierd.

I wouldn't out up with it. Very cheeky of her and very inconciderate of your partner not to respect your feelings! what on earth is going on here, bloody hell. I would tell your husband to put a stop to it or you will. I'm angry for you love.

Bexi

That sounds pretty fishy! I'd tell him how it's making you feel, if he has enough respect for you he should be able to make her stop. If he gets defensive over it, I think there may be more to the problem.

TABBY

I would answer the phone and tell her he isn't in but you'd be glad to help her out. I wouldn't put up with it for a second! He probably wouldn't appreciate you getting calls from male co-workers either.

chevy.kevin

It doesn't sound too serious, but don't let your guard down

chocolatechompingchic

It may be innocent, but I would take great interest and watch and listen very carefully.

I was in this situation and thought, oh it's ok, I trust my husband. She even came to our house. She was named in our divorce proceedings.

Go with your instinct, but keep him under your beedy eye, her as well.

I hope it's ok tho.

Kalyn

I think you should tell your husband how you feel and ask him to politely tell her to respect his personal time. He should tell her not to call. Especially since it doesn't sound like she's his boss. She clearly is interested in him.

Cherri

It sounds like he is more worred about her feeling than your. You need to let him know that her calling you at home is making a very uncomfortable living situation at home. He needs to be the one to put this disrespectful ****** in her place. I wish you the best.

jelle

Totally inappropriate behavior on her part and on your husband's part. Sounds like he is more worried about upsetting her than you.

gonesouldirty

sound a bit insecure there.

Cant your husband just be friends with this woman? if you are so leary of the whole thing why dont you ask to meet this woman?

DeeJayB

I would say no. When gone from work, it's family time. Family doesn't interrupt his work time with silly meaningless stuff---Should be the same when he goes home.

mblastguy

I would talk to your husband about it and have him talk to the woman because you are right that is not appropriate at all. They are collegues. She can find other friends. If nothing changes then you might want to confront her directly.

there you go again

If she was a good mutual friend of both of you it would not be inappropirate but sinc eyou dont know her its not really a good thing. Also its kinda disrespectful that your husband doesn t nip this in the bud. I mean he should just tell her look i am married call someone else. Unless you and her can become buddies and it just a freindship thing but it sounds like she likes him and he seems to like the attention.

CJA

It is NEVER appropriate for any office personnel to call ANYONE at home for personal reasons UNLESS the receiver has AUTHORIZED such intrusions.

I strongly suspect YOUR husband is flirting or makes this woman feel HE is interested in HER for other than WORK reasons. Been there done that. Don't buy into the "I don't know why she would be calling me." That's rubbish.

You need to grab the call and answer it. Ask the woman "what's the problem?". If YOU feel the question is a personal one, tell this woman to hold her question until the next working day and she can ask Mr. Jones at that time. Your husband will go balistic because he obviously has led this woman to believe "he's the boss of the house and it's O.K. to call me". Be prepared for this argument.

If and when your husband goes balistic about YOU interferring with "his matters" advice him that HE chose YOU as the one and only for better or for worst, in sickness and in health until death do you part and what God has brought together let NO MAN draw apart.

Tell him you feel this woman is drawing YOU apart from the marriage by interferring during non-business hours with personal trival matters that should be "left at the office". Set your foot down. He'll either "leave you for the other woman" or "come to his senses and realize that you're right".

I thank my wife for having done just that. Men will flirt and sometimes other women will take that signal as a "come on, let's boogie" when it really is just flirting. But men are weak (ask Adam at Eden, he'll tell you) and women will always find a married (STD disease free) man more attractive and less of a risk at giving them AIDS and HIV.

ydidi

i think it should wait until they are at work she has no business calling him at home. Your husband needs to be man enough to let her know that it is bothering you and she should stop calling him

tonysae

ask your husband how it would create a negative work environment, when the calls are being made after work hours. he probably didn't mention that calls after work were not ok, so she assumed he has no problem with it.

Mel

I think I would feel exactly the same way you do. She has no need to call him unless it's for a legitimate reason that can't wait until work hours. Unfortunately, this is your husband's call to do something about it, not yours. He needs to go to a superior and tell them that she is misusing the priviledge of having his number.

cope_acetic

Answer the phone and say "Look, you are disturbing us on our PERSONAL time. Please stop calling us unless it is a work-related emergency."

If she calls again, tell her one more call and you will talk to her supervisor about harassment issues.
That should stop the calls.

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