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Lizzie G
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Good luck rebuilding your relationship. If you work on what went wrong between you before his affair, which there's always something, than he'll stay true to you and his daughter.
You can't make him stay, or do all the work or the changing. You need to work on it together. Plus, you need to really forgive him which means putting it behind you. Keeping an eye out for signs are one thing, but calling the phone company for the phone records show that you are not ready to do that.
Hopefully, you get with a marriage counselor or a minister to help you through this. IF you work hard at it, your marriage will be stronger than ever.
Good luck! |
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CRAVIN
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Not a Chance, Sounds More Like Shes Staying with her Hubby and he is Tired of Living alone and wants to have the Best of Both Worlds again.
And as far as the Phone record thing Im Sure he's onto that. |
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riddlemethis
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well....obviously you're not over the whole event. Why would you check his phone records?
I think you should just move on, respect yourself and child, and move on...this isnt going to get any easier. |
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atheism_and_rats
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Get a new guy. Trust cannot be resurrected after an affair. |
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Candi
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I doubt its over...he probably just got smart about it and got like a trackphone or something so you couldnt get his records,and find out its still going on.
3 years...and temptation only 15minutes away? do you REALLY think that its over? |
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LabRat
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That's gonna be awkward at the grocery store... |
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woman 2
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i like the other answerer on here believe that once a cheat...always a cheat. if it were me, i'd make that woman's life a living hell...payback time baby! |
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Oscar R
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Dont think about what or what might happend, ask yourself, Do you really love him, can you forgive him? can you deal with another affair. If you cant forgive you will bring up the affair constantly and it will push him away. you cant control his actions expect the worse and hope for the best. But value yourself. dont forgive if he does it again. |
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Zero
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once a cheat always a cheat..
if she lives 15 away then theres no need for calls is there?
listen i wouldnt have forgive him...
just finds someone of pure heart..
youre other half is out there..
and remember think about the kid aswell |
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Christina
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so he cant slowly move his things with you and live with you now? whats the big deal with letting an empty house sit. it is not a big deal . i think him living 15 minutes from her is a bad thing. he might pass by her house before he goes to his partment. the calls may have stopped but im gonna tell you that the relationship might not be over. three years is a long time to just call it off. I say you are smart for looking into his phone records. I still think you need to keep a good eye on him. three years!! thats a very long lie!!!! good luck. |
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Brando
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oh god why in the world would you take his dumb*** back, he will always cheat on you no matter how much he claims he wont, if i were you i would get out of that relationship and sue him for child support, after 3 years i doubt he is just gonna quit and neither will she. |
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rainiesquarepants
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sorry i cant help you here. if my husband cheated on me i would leave him forever. |
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Kelsey Koala
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why would you even want to be with him after he cheated on you. no matter how much you "love" some one. love means you dont cheat, or hurt the ones you love. id divorce his sorry butt.
my opinion only. |
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firemanswife6588
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Dont trust him...I would love to tell you that it's over but after three years of this I dont think so. I would move on and find someone who would never do this to you. |
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nathanls698
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ok let me make sure I understand what you are saying.. your husband cheated on you for 3 years?.. With the same woman?
Girl.. you gotta get over him and end it!!! |
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N()()B T. PWNZINGTON
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if it is over he will do it again |
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Raine C
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If you take him back, be prepared sweetie. Highly unlikely he will stay faithful. There's a chance, just know it is a small chance. If you take him back, you will have to do it as if the affair never happened. Can you do that? If you can't and your mind is going to be filled with suspicion and mistrust, you are only setting yourself up to make your own life miserable. If you do take him back, I would highly suggest a contract be drawn up. (something like a prenuptial) clearly stating what the financial penalties will be in the event of another affair-which would, I presume be the definite reason for a divorce.(?). Blessed be and if you try it again with him I wish you the best of luck. I wouldn't be able to do it. |
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Belinda E
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and why would u want him back? so he can do it again? u already allowed him to cheat, so what is stopping him from doing it again? nothing, not u or ur child. STD's, what is he bringing home to ur bed? he cheated on u for a reason, what was it? i would not take him back, i would not have waited for him. divorce his *** and make him pay child support. what are u showing ur child. it is not ok for daddy to cheat and see other woman. get real please. wake up |
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JJH
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WOW, just because its over with her, you don't think he will hook up with someone else?
ONCE a cheat, always a cheat... IF my hubby cheated on me I sure wouldn't EVER trust him again! But, thats my opinion. |
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captn_carrot
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Oh my goodness. He's done with his 3-Year Love affair, and your taking him back... and yet you're wanting to know if the affair is truly over? Sounds like you have some unresolved issues and honestly I don't think this is a situation where you just pick up where he left off three years ago.There was a major abuse of trust and marriage vows and if it were my wife she'd kick me to the curb and never look back ( we have 4 kids by the way, so kids would definitely play in her actions). A man that cheats fo 3 years is not to be trusted. He is spending weekends with you, but what about all his free time during the week? You checked phone records, but have you ever heard of a pre-paid cell phone? He could be calling her on a cell phone you aren't even aware of, and you would never know.There is no way a woman that has invested 3 years to a married man is going to let him walk away free and clear--she knew the game she was playing so the consequences of you and your daughter don't matter to her---she is not going to let him quit her "cold turkey" . Sorry to sound so suspicous, but honestly after the way he played you for 3 years I would think you'd be pretty suspicous too.
Once a cheater, always a cheater. Kick him to the curb and find someone more worthy of you, but even more so more worthy of your daughter. |
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kandimomma2007
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Oh wow. It could be... and then again it may not be..... and since she's soo close if you guys ever had problems he would be tempted to go back. Good luck . :) |
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Chuck
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He probably can't just give her up cold turkey. Even if things are great between both of you, you have to expect he will miss her at some point. Do you want to spend the rest of your life looking over your shoulder?
Good luck. |
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Lenny K
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Sounds like she broke up with him. Or he is afraid of child support and alimony. Usually if a guy gets free from a wife there's very few things that will make him go back. After all, why go backwards once you've got an apt and another woman? |
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Onetoplay
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Unlikely. |
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jersey girl in exile
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Wish I had some wise words for you but I don't. I do you wish you the happiness that you desire and that you get the peace of heart you deserve. |
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Jen
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First off, wow I respect you for being able to handle that and still be with him... but I'd say I mean it sounds like it??? And you are his WIFE!!! YOU have EVERY right in the world to still get the phone records once in a while, and just "drive by" or "stop over" out of the blue!!! |
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Ivy Girl
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it is going to take you a long time to trust him. i don't know if its over or not. 2 weeks ago is pretty darn recent. and even if its over with her- 3 years with the same one??? there had to be something there. Not that I want to take away from what you have going- if that's what you want, you will both have a lot of work to get a strong relationship back. you just have to be realistic. 3 years is a long time to be with someone else. he must've had genuine feelings for her that he won't just be able to let go because he wants to be with you.
i recommend counseling for the both of you as a start.... |
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[+Psychotic+Dreams+]
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I would sure hope that he would be. This is coming from a 16 year old who DOES understand what it is like. No, I have never been married, nor do i intend on it anytime soon. BUT I have found my mother is as well having an affair with someone, other than my father. I don't know what is going on with it but it hurts terribly. I sure hope that some sense gets knocked into him because he has loving people waiting for him back in his real home.
I wish you all the luck in the world.
Take care, with love
Marjorie
<3 |
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mj
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g If you want the marriage to last then I would suggest a marriage councilor one on one and also as a couple.
You will have to not be suspicious even tho it is not easy to act or believe everything is honest and upfront with him...
But if you are taking him back unconditionally then try not to make him relive his mistakes when you are together.. Leave that for the marriage expert so at least you have a ref when you talk about the crap he put you through.. I commend you for your efforts, faithfulness, and love that you still have for him.
There aren't many women out there that can go back to a man who was living in his own apartment and shacked up with a mistress.. And lets not forget the 15 minutes away part? Wow, that is a bit too close for comfort for many of us..
Three years ? Sad.. I don't know if I could have taken a man back even if we had kids.... He is very lucky and should count his blessings to have you...Never allow or let it happen again..
I would suggest that if down the road he starts flippin out or seems like he might be straying or if you have any suspicians at all, don't hesitate to get a GPS system easily rented on line and put it under his car.. They have a magnet and he would never know.. You then can watch where ever his car goes, the time, and the stops he makes on your computer.. Also, there is a spy program that you download to a computer and hide it somewhere and you can see every stroke he makes and read all of his emails.. Some of you people in Answers will not agree with me but making a huge mistake the 2nd time and not catching it earlier is something that needs to be caught asap... I wish you good luck and I would run the witch out of town.. By the way, he could have two cell phones that he uses and also a PO Box so phone records mean nothing..
Watch his spending.... paper trails are plentyful and men always mess it up...... Good Luck kiddo..... |
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greeter7
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Read between the lines lady. It is over with THIS one but what happens when he sees another pushover. You are the one who needs to do something. 1. Get counseling from a Christian marriage counselor. 2. I would tell him not to let the door hit him in the back of the head as he leaves. YOU NEED HELP! |
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jenna
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I was in a four year affair with a man i loved. But because the relationship was not going anywhere and also it felt so wrong we broke up. Went cold turkey months ago. Men do love their wives and he loves you. If you love him, please work it out. And yes, cold turkey is the way to end a relationship. Accept its over and start repairing your marriage. Good luck to you both. |
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