Is it okay to be engaged while you live with your parents? Please See Details.?
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Is it okay to be engaged while you live with your parents? Please See Details.?
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My boyfriend and I have known one another for 4 years now and had a relationship most of that time. He lived in Virginia and I lived in Florida. He decided move here to be with me, and to pursue the last 2 years of his degree with his schools online program so I could finish school here in Florida. We have decided we want to move back to VA next January so that I can finish my last 2 years at a University there.
He has a good job but is going to live with my parents until we move back to Virginia so he can save some money. They are completely fine with that. I also have a good job. We both work part time and go to school full time.
Now heres the question: My mother LOVES him and knows that we want to be married. She is fine with us getting married but wants us to wait until we are out of school. We haven't decided when to get married but he wants to get engaged. I think it might be weird because he lives in my mothers house and because atm he could not afford to rent an apartment in FL (they are about 3x more expensive here than in VA). When we move to VA he will be able to afford an apartment on his own.
Should we get engaged? Or am I right, would that be weird?
Additional Details
Thank you for your feedback. I do not feel pressured by him to be engaged. I would LOVE to get engaged and am very excited about the future! I am just worried that my father would find it weird or give us a hard way to go because he lives with my mom...
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shy2008
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I don't think it would be weird at all. Why would it? You two are ready to commit to an engagement, and it shouldn't matter where you're living. Congrats! It sounds like both of you have a good head on your shoulders, and you Mom loves him! Sounds like a go ahead too me! It sounds like you also have a great plan towards your future and you have thought it all through! Good for you! Be happy! Hope this helps... |
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Guess
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I don't see anything wrong with it. You are both working students, which hard enough as it is. Take the time with your parents for as long as you can and use that time to save for your own apartment and the wedding.
I agree to wait to get married til after you both finish school. That way you can both begin the new chapter in your lives without having to worry about study and exams. |
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Katrina L
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Only you 2 can decide when it's time to become engaged. If you love each other & the feelings are there, it doesn't matter where you live or with whom. You could live on Mars with aliens, & not be ready for such a committment.
If you're going to get engaged, base that decision on your feelings & your wants for the future, not where someone is living. It's not weird at all, it's kind of sweet that he's staying with your mum!
EDIT: Please don't allow yourself to be rushed into such a committment, make sure the time is right for the two of you. You're getting engaged for yourselves & your future, so don't allow anyone else to make such a decision for you. |
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kitkat
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Get engaged why is that so weird? Wait for school to be over before marriage. |
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Candycorps
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I think you should wait to get engaged. Long engagements tend to put a lot of strain on a relationship because you are in a weird awkward phase where you more than just boyfriend/girlfriend but not yet fully committed in marriage. I really don't understand why you have to get engaged right now anyway? What would really change if you were engaged as opposed to going forward with the plans to attend school and him living in your parents house. It just seems unnecessary and like your putting the horse before the cart. |
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sheloves_dablues
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You can get engaged and live whereever you want. |
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Faith
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I don't understand why people feel they need to finish school before getting engaged or married. People can attend college at anytime in their life. My mom changed careers and went back to school after being married for many years. My parents are still happily married and my dad was glad to support my mom during her time at school.
It's not weird to be engaged or married and live with your parents. Things happen in life and sometimes people need to depend on their family. You are not depending on your family because you're lazy. A lot of couples live with their parents or relatives right now because of the economy. |
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