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Is it right to tell a christian woman to leave her abusive husband?
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Is it right to tell a christian woman to leave her abusive husband?

I have a mission to empower on the lessons of living, loving and learning, and as i go about this mission, i am often faced with the dilema of Gods word "I hate divorce" and advicing a woman to leave an abusive marriage to safeguard her emotional and psychological well-being as well as that of her children. I am of the viewpoint that the Bible does not imply that we remain in marriage regardless..............some religious leaders frown at this. Could i have some thought through suggestions and contributions to this debate please. THANKS FOR YOUR TIME
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As well as physical well-being


Jim T
The religion of the individuals has nothing to do with it. If a person is in trouble, they need to get help, even if that means getting out.

If you are woried about being at odds with your bible, consider this: Your vaulted ten commandments state clearly: THOU SHALT NOT KILL. Look at the statistics for domestic violence. "Every year in the United States, 1,000 to 1,600 women die at the hands of their male partners, often after a long, escalating pattern of battering."

Yes, I think God would forgive a Christian woman for leaving an abusive husband......leaving just b/c "I don't love u anymore" isn't a good reason.....physical/emotional abuse is........anyone being abused in any way should find the nearest exit and RUN!!

It is right to tell a woman (or more rarely, a man) of any faith that they should leave an physically, mentally or emotionally abusive partner. It is also extremely difficult as generally the abused person makes excuses for the abuser. It is necessary to support someone who should leave - give a woman the contact details for her nearest women's refuge. They will usually accept children although I know there can be problems.
One main reason for staying is that a woman may not have an idependent source of income (some men delight in making sure they know exactly what their wife is doing at all times and keep her short of money to control her) and thus may be worried about how she can afford to leave.
She may also be worrying about the children. Just remember that research has shown that child abuse and domestic violence often go hand-in-hand.
Whilst not a christian, I find it hard to think that any religion would force a woman to stay in an abusive situation. Life is not a punishment, it is surely about realising your talents and abilities and helping make the world a more wonderful place to live in.

yea of course a husband shouldnt b abusing his wife

God would not like to see this woman being hurt !!! God also didn't make man to be a bully

julie w
religion shouldnt be a factor.....any one in a abusive relationship has the right to get out....instead of having the bible or any other religious tool preached at them,they should be offered help and support.....and thats for the abuser and abusee.

Shary M
Yes, God doesn't want you to get yourself killed with an abusive husband.

I am always amazed by some Christians and the Clergy and their beliefs in regard to not advising a person to leave an abusive relationship. I will make the assumption that they also frown on suicide, so I have to ask the question, if a woman or man is in an abusive relationship and can find no other avenue of resolving the abuse the Christian Adviser should not only encourage them to leave the abuser, they should consider that staying in an abusive situation is suicide, and if children are involved, it is child abuse to allow them to remain in that situation. What is the difference in self abuse and mutilation and the allowing of another person to abuse us, I see them as the same. Like I said, if children are involved that person is the only one with power enough to protect them by leaving the abuser. Why is that so difficult to rectify with the teachings of Christ. Of course counciling should be on the table and reconciliation an option but safety of the person is the First and Foremost Priority. Christ would step between the abuser and the abused, can we do no less?

Well first of all I would think that God would want us to be in a loving relationship. I think she should get out of the marriage if he is hurting her physically and emotionally. Life is to short she should be living it happily!!!!

Proud mum to Tyler and Riley.
I believe christians disapprove of divorce, so it may be a little hard to convince her to leave, but I'm strongly against any man who lays a hand on his wife in anger, and no matter what the belief, its very wrong. I had a friend who was a battered wife, and i was with a physically and emotionally abusive partner. But, despite pleas to go, i only left when i was ready to. And my friend unfortunately stayed despite pleas to go, until she was carried out in a coffin. Her husband came back in a drunken rage, and beat her to death. He'd beaten her so badly her face was unrecognisable, making a physical identification impossible. As my Mom always says; "you can lead a horse to water, but you cant make it drink".. Advise her, help her, even persuade if you can, but bear in mind you cant force her..

Please tell me what being a Christian has to do with tolerating abuse? Where is it written in the Bible that a woman should tolerate abuse? To my knowledge, nowhere. It would be un-Christian of you to not help her find the courage to leave.

Yes you can God said let the man love his wife like his own body but if he has been abusing his wife he must hate God and his own body. But remember this if she is out of that enviroment and take the kids with her she will be alot safer because if you look at history that any one thats stays in abusive relationship is some going to get seriuosly hurt

It says God hates divorce but HE understands. The reasons for divorce are adultry and one partner being ungodly. An abusive man is NOT godly so she is right to leave. God understands the heart of all and knows that sometimes we make bad decisions on our own because of free will. It is sometimes best to start over.

ling g
yes. u are saving her live before she die

No one should put up with abuse tell her to pack her bags & Goodluck to your friend

steve f
well said your right no one belongs in a abusive relationship no matter what religion they believe in

God can do anything in their life...ask them to pray...i'm sure God will help them and i'm sure there is something that God want to do in their family....
God Bless Your service


frustrated and desperate!
i hate divorce myself but for a guy to hurt his wife is also unchristian-like! we can't "tell" the woman to leave her husband, she must find the courage within herself to know if she WANTS to leave her husband or stay and contnue to hurt physically, emotionally and spiritually!!!

yes......god said to LOVE one anothere... theres no LOVE in a abusive marriage.....

Anointed to Minister
You mentioned the title - religious leaders and you used it correctly for it was the religious leaders that set Jesus up, it was them that was going to stone the woman while Jesus said, You without sin cast the first stone.
God hates sin, He hates divorce. You must ask what would Jesus do? If Jesus was to walk into your home and fine the abuse going on would He say, your going to be ok, this is the Lord's will for you or would He say this is not God's will for your life. Come with me! I would recommend to you to seek refuge firstly from the abuser, then healing from a Christian ministry that can stand with you in this time of need. Remember the end will be greater then the former. God has great plans for you just take a step from the enemy as Scripture says, the devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. This is whats happening to you. The sadness is that too many wearing the title of Christian are far from being Christlike. For Jesus would separate you from the abuse, restore your confidence and self esteem and then point you in a path of wholeness.


Every person has the right to a life free from torture and therefore it is part of God's want to free both women and men from the torture caused by an abusive partner.

The Bible is not God's pure word, it is simply an interpretation of his words, therefore you must look within yourself in your prayers and in your heart, to find the truth in the words the Bible claims are from the Lord.

I hope this helps. x x

are u crazy?...cuz i am not!

I don't believe God intends us to be abused.


It is only right to encourage people to leave abusive relationships!

hell yes

yes i think so.. cause no human deserves to be treated like that.. you would be wrong not to help her.. knowing someone needs help and not helping them is a much bigger sin that divorce.

Yes, it is correct to tell her to leave-abuse is NOT from God, who is the "excuser". The "accuser" is Satan.

Yes it is alright to tell a christian women to leave her husband if he's being abusive....why should she stay with someone who is obviously not (loving, honest and cherishing her)u know the wedding vows....if he's being like that he's not keeping up his end of the bargain anyways.....its like all the guys hear is that there women has to love,honor and OBEY them!!!!But christ meant for marriage to be a loving and safe place....Men are supposed to love there wives just as christ loves the church that he gave his life..an abusive guy is not someone loving....in fact thats a selfish guy!God wants us to use wisdom in relationship..and if your using the wisdom that god gave u,u would RUN from an abusive relationship!!!!

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