Is it worth it to try to fix a marraige in which on spouse cheated or continues to cheat?

dip_n_cecilia

i guess your waiting to catch a disease with no cure right? you wanna stick around with a loser that keeps laying up with other people? come on now - how you sound? you'd be a dummy if you stuck around. lifes too short --- you don't hurt someone you love. there is no love on his or her part. its common sense, so you think about it.

Koran

a leopards never changes its spots

Rawbert

Not worth fixing. Been there, and she will continue to walk all over you and cheat whenever she wants, because you will always be there to support her.

Leave her and take 1/2 of what she has.

jude

even if u forgave and they came back, they could always go back to the person and leave u hurt all over again. if they truly loved u, they would have tried to talk it over before cheating on u. without trust there is no marriage, as trust is the glue that holds the marriage together, once lost it is not easily found again. personally its better to get the hurt over with, and end it, than to take them back and maybe have to suffer the same rejection u are now feeling. it will hurt twice as bad the next time after forgiving, giving them your heart again, and going though all the work of putting the marriage back, chances of cheating again are really good. because of their belief system, and lack of character. the time to have fixed the problem, was before the betrayal occurred, its a little too late now.

Hootie J

The only thing worse than being in a bad relationship for a year is being in a bad relationship for a year and a day!

Forgive and they will cheet again, Kick thier a*s*s to the curb and get going with your life, You deserve better than a cheat

charles w

You answered your own question.Once a cheater always a cheater.It is never worth your happiness,you will always be worrying when he is late from work,or calls and says he's working late.
If you have any stashed money hire a P.I. photos
are the best proof.

Colleen O

If the spouse continues to cheat it's pretty obvious they don't WANT to fix the marriage.

Terri: The Passion Coach

If the spouse continues to cheat, it is probably a good idea to leave the relationship. If he/she doesn't stop, they don't have enough respect for you to stop.

If the spouse that has cheated stopped, then it is your decision to forgive them or not. You have to know if you can forgive. This is something that you need to be able to work through and let go. Therapy is usually a good idea if you want to work it out. Therapists can help you to deal and teach the two of you to rebuild the trust.

The comment about love being present is not really true. A lot of people cheat even when they love their partners. I know it is hard to understand when you are the one cheated on, but it is true. Sometimes people cheat just because they can. Other people cheat because something is missing or they are lonely. This doesn't mean that they don't love their spouse.

schneb

no way. get out now!!

Ash Kat

If he/she cheats once shame on them, if he/she cheats twice shame on you. Don't let anyone cheat you because they will continue to do it. They don't love you because if they did they would take responsibility for there actions. Tell your significant other to get some conseling and get out of the house. Seperate from each other and see what happens.

phorwanted

You know the answer to this. It's never right to cheat. The once a cheat always a cheat is not necessarily true but it does mean the person is at risk to do it again.

No. It takes two to make a marriage work. If one person is continuously cheating, they are not working at the marriage.

The cheater does not have any consideration for their spouse at all. They are disregarding their spouses feelings as well as the vows they made.

As far as I am concerned, there are two good reasons for divorce. Infidelity or abuse.

The cheater can't blame their spouse for what they have done. If they don't like the actions of their spouse, they have the right to leave, NOT to cheat.

Mary O

Leave if they loved only you and meant it then they would not want to be with anyone else ever.

jsteinklein

If your spouse cheated on you, you should leave him right now. He will probably cheat on you again and you don't want to be hurt again. It was a concsious decision of his to cheat. You should divorce him now.

a_lot_smarter_now

A marriage can be fixed IF the injured spouse can somehow forgive the perpetrator, but the responsible spouse needs to own up to his/her mistake, and really learn from it. I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater. I know from experience that people CAN learn the first time and change that behavior...I think more along the lines of "twice a cheater always a cheater". If a spouse repeatedly cheats, it's hopeless. Cheating is not worth the injury nor is it worth the cost, the heaviest cost being your own sense of dignity. You can NEVER blame what a spouse did or didn't do for your own cheating. Two wrongs don't make a right...and people need to own up to their own choices and responsibilities to their spouse. I don't have a lot of tolerance for someone who says, "I did it because she..." or..."He wasn't doing x for me so I...." The simple fact is we know it's wrong, and if we chose to do it, it is OUR fault...end of story. Whether or not the marriage ends is a decision that both parties have to come to mutually. If they are going to try to work it out, the cheater's life needs to become an OPEN book with the spouse...NO secrets, NO lies...NO hiding anything. He/she has to EARN the trust back, however long that takes.

Goodspeed

I knew my ex was sorry ...I could forgive her...we have alot of history between us, I may have even tried to make it work if I thought it wouldn't happen again, but I couldn't believe that...I couldn't bare to put myself through that again..first time shame on her...2nd time shame on me.

nakjns75

no, she may be cheating on you also, is that the way u want to live your life.

Tif

if it's a continued thing no just leave. actions aren't an excuse to cheat but definitely a reason to leave.

Katie

Heck no! Clearly this person is messed up! I say get away and get out of there before you lose your mind. It's tough leaving someone but in the end it's worth it.

rita g

Yes once a cheater always a cheater, if your spouse did it once they're gonna do it again unless mabey some seriouscouncelling! Trust issues are always gonna be there!
And if there are children involved don't stay because of that,
trust me, it doesn't make things better, just more complicated!
It hurts when someone you think your going to spend the rest of your life with cheats! It's heartbreaking, but you gotta get out believe me I put up with it for 3 yrs and it still ended up in a brutal divorce! good luck

munchie1299

If the love of your life cheated on you in an act of weakness, maybe you could get through it, but if they continue to cheat they are scum. I would not cheat in return though, two wrongs do not make a right. If this person is cheating because of the way you act, then they are using cheating as a punishment, and honey you are grown you don't need to be punished by someone who is obviously filth.

caden S

Move on I can't imagine being with someone who cheated on me.

April T

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

T Time

As a cheater, I can tell you it's probably not worth trying to fix

Need Answers

the spouse is taking advantage of your willingness to forgive. this is not healthy for you and you need to be in something where you don't have to question. your spouse has the advantage of knowing its true love on your end, but not you. so do what's best for you before you lose yourself in this emotional roller coaster.

Doll 101

Like you said, once a cheater always a cheater!!

seahorse

How would you fix something that can't be fixed? If he is continuing to cheat, I would think he is telling you something you're not getting. Good Luck.

Sweetness

I think that is is NOT worth it. I know a lot of people try but that trust can never be what it once was. Also the cheater gets the idea that they got away with it once, so why stop??!! You are on point with this one.

rose bud

my ex husband cheated on me and i caught him doing so.i divorced him and it was the best thing i ever did.he cheated on his first wife and she divorced him for doing so.

Awakenmysoul

if he continues to cheat NO! But once a cheater always a cheater.

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