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Is it worth stayig with a man whom you married for 15 years just for the sake of kids even he doesn't love you
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Is it worth stayig with a man whom you married for 15 years just for the sake of kids even he doesn't love you



    




ken401lam
no, the question is how do you feel cause you are the one sleeping with him at night.


mml619
hell no! why would you stay with someone who doesnt love you? dont you think you're worth more than that? your kids will be fine in the long run.


KB
no

if you are miserable and fighting with him, your children are exposed to that. What image is that for your kids? They don't want you to be unhappy. And you are setting a bad example to them about marriage that will last a lifetime. Be strong - it isn't easy to leave, but you deserve happiness, and your kids deserve an environment free from hostility.


violet1656
your kids sense and understand more than you know...you may be making them more miserable than they would be if you were to just leave...at least you would be happy and they wouldn't have to worry about their parents all the time


aussiepom
Rating
Depends on whether the situation is bearable or not. If you are fighting all the time it's much better for the kids if you split up. Far better for them to have separated parents who each maintain a loving relationship with them than to for the kids to have to go through living hell every day at home. I know!


crystal
No,it is wrong wasting your life.


Quilps
My parents stayed together "just for the kids", and from every point of view, including my own, I wish with all my heart they hadn't. And my brother feels exactly the same way.

From our point of view, we had to grow up with them arguing non-stop, with great bitterness and anger in the house, and with them criticising each other to us all the time. As we got older we often found ourselves piggy in the middle and having to "choose" between them in different situations. And that's to say nothing of the role model we grew up with of what a marriage and partnership should be like!

So, in answer to your question, if you have a nice relationship anyway, then maybe (but only maybe if the kids are still small, because if they're already past 16, then you should start thinking about your own happiness too), but if you're arguing a lot, then don't do it, you're not going to be doing your kids ANY favours.


lippylisa
no,u need to do wot u both feel is right for the sake of kids...no point in staying together if u r both not happy...kids pick up on bad atmospheres...i,m sure if he has regular contact with kids they will be fine...at first they will be upset but when they realise they can have a better relationship with u both as u both will be happier then they will be fine..just make sure u both reasure them that u both love em,and the break up has nothing to do with them.just if u do break up remeber that u need to do it as painlessly as u can for their sakes,and try and perhaps remain friends rather than bad mouth each other,because the kids will feel they need to take sides,which will hurt them.


Please use other door
No, never. You are unhappy, raising your children in an unhappy environment (they're smarter than you give them credit for), and also raising them in a home with NO LOVE. You and your children deserve to be happy and you owe it to your children to raise them in the best environment possible, not one out of convenience.


h
no that's not fair on you or the kids. you will still have time to meet someone who will love you .kids would like it best having two happy parents than two unhappy ones.


ibpat38
Rating
well thats a hard question to answer,
I gues it all depends on the relationship you have with your husbend, if you dont love eachother and it shows I dont think that would be a good invirement to rase kids in, so my answer is no, dont stay togeather, it would be easier to get use to you not being togeather
then it would be watching you live sepret lives under the same roof


Caro
Rating
Yes until they are old enough, good luck


boppinmad
Rating
no, your worth more than that hun, the kids probably sense your unhappiness, and they are resilient, they will adapt. life is too short, so weigh up your pro's and con's. only you can decide what to do. good luck!


Andrea S
Rating
its no point staying in a marriage if there is no love between you, not even because of the kids.


GalaxyGirl
Rating
ABSOLUTELY NOT! been there and doing it now. It's really hard to find the strength to finally bring it to an end, but if you get to the point where you don't feel loved and cherished then he aint living upto his vows, and he never will. You'll just get older, more resentful and more depressed and the kids will suffer with their mum not functioning on full power. If you know he doesn't love you and you are more like lodgers than lovers then you are already on your own. The worse day is when you wake up and realise you having nothing left to give. Good luck, best wishes and all that stuff.


MILLIE
well that depends what is love the thing is does he treat you OK is he good to you is he a good dad to the kids does he take care of you this is what you need to look at if you can say yes to all of those question and you are happy the way you are then what do you have to lose ask him why does he say he don't love you if he is seeing someone else then give him the boot but if he is not then what does it matter as long as he is good to you and treats you with respect you will just have to look at what you wont are you happy what will you gain buy leaving him


Kristin N
I am the child of divorceed parents and i can say that it would be better to get the divorce. AS long as the children can see the love from both parents they should turn out fine. Make sure to keep the divorce clean. The parents should always be mature and handle situations gently. Don't involve the children in your disputes. Besides, can you honestly be a good mother to your children when you are unhappy. Another suggestion might be to talk to your children, if they are old enough to understand, to see how they would feel.


southern_darlin1975
Rating
I am in the same situation. I love him but he doesnt love me. We have an 8 year old son together. I am in the works of moving out and telling my son what is going on. Be honest with your children and things will be ok. You deserve to be happy and find someone who does love you, just like i derserve to be happy. Dont make your children miserable..they know more than you know and will understand in the long run


?
Rating
In general NO!!! But every situation is different, is there is emotional, physical, or pyschological abuse going on in the home, children should never have to be exposed to that. You are actually damaging them more by staying. Also, even if there is not abuse, you are not being good role models for their future marriages. They might begin to think this is ok. They might think that love really is not necessary in a marriage and, let's face it, don't you want them to have that!


haggispa2
There's NO EXCUSE to stay in a loveless marriage, no matter how many years you have been married... unless of course you want to. But your not doing yourself or your children any favours by doing so.
If your concerned about finances, a place to stay etc; seek advice first and bear in mind, many many marriages with children involved do breakup and they do function happily even if with only one parent around.
Don't let fear hold you back. You deserve to be happy and to feel loved and cherished and if this is not happening within your marriage then its time to say goodbye to that and I'm sure someday in the future, you will find the true love and happiness you deserve.

Have hope and have faith in having a brighter and happier future for you and your children. Good luck.


yvonne c
I would say no. However, what is your life style like apart from that. Many people settle for a marriage without love. Think carefully about the lifestyle a single parent has to endure. If you'd still rather endure that than stay, then go and good luck to you.


ikklealsum
Rating
no i wouldnt it must be a very unhappy empty life your living maybe if you where happy the kids would be happ live you life for you and them and gets some love and happiness


carla s
Rating
kids?????????? kids would feel better if you are no longer together , they sense your lack of interest in eachother. i think you are asking this becouse of your fear of loneliness no cause of the kids.......... the question is, how can you love him if you dont know how to love yourself....... u cant expect him to love you


woah
my folks divorced and i turned out fine!


Designchc
Rating
NO!

Your kids will mirror in their future adult relationships what they have grown up with. Do you want that for them?


Jersey Boy
Rating
I don't know the answer other than to get counseling.I am in the same spot, staying for the kids. I cannot bear to be a part time father.

We are in marriage counseling and it is working somewhat, but it is a long road.


shortfrog
Rating
Not knowing the details of your problem, I say NO....why? ...
because kids are not stupid, they know when things are not right between their parents....and a lot of children are better off being taken out of a constant bickering or fighting situation. Talk to the kids, they might just surprise you.


Suzie
Rating
No, no, no! Do you not think that it is better for the children to see parents living happily apart than unhappily together. Think of the messages you are giving the children by staying together. That it is OK to be unhappy where you are and not to make yourself happy.


twinkle
Rating
Nonononono!!It never works!!


chlango1
depend on how old are the kids, if they are little maybe but if they are teens the can understand the situation then no


sophia_of_light
No probably NOT! What are you teaching your children, how to live unhappily ever after? To stay with their partner even if that person doesn't love them, to live unhappily, to deprive themselves of love happiness and compainionship...





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