Is it worth trying to fix things with my husband after he cheated, and filed for divorce?

jude

i wouldn't take him back if he filed for divorce on me and was with another woman. he just wants to come back because all apparently wasn't so good with this other woman. and now he finds himself dumped and alone and thinks he can just come back to u. its not worth it really its not. if he did this to u now he will do it again the very next time some other woman catches his eye. a man has to be pretty sure he doesn't want u if he files for divorce and moves in with someone new before u even get the divorce.he was probably seeing this woman way before u knew about it, right under your nose. so now that he got the boot he wants u back, i think not.

Gal

Really? You need to ask this? If you weren't the wife, what would you say?

Paul

If you can see in his eyes, his body and his soul that he is truly apologetic, you might give it another shot. But, this sounds like he is trying to say the minimum possible to keep you hooked and available, and you should not go there. Probably, he is just manipulating the situation so he can keep all his options open.

NYMOM

Only you can answer that...can you really get over his infidelity? He sounds like a rogue and a man who needs counseling. If there are children involved and you REALLY want it to work...then go to a marriage counselor. I hate to sound pessimistic....but that behaviour never changes, unless the source of his insecurities are addressed.

fiery redhead 67

i wouldn't take him back,he ruined your life as a couple and made you unhappy. i would kick his cheating,lying butt to the curb and find a guy who will treat you with respect.
you would also always wonder if he would do it again if you took him back,which statistically would probably happen,once a cheater always a cheater.
i would have nothing more to do with him and move on.

c'estmoi

If it was me, I would not take him back. Not for the filing of divorce, but the cheating part. I would not be able to get past that.

It's up to you, only you know your husband. Is he worth it?

owise1

It's only worth it if you feel right about it. If you still have the same feelings for him and he can show you that he does for you as well....good luck

Rx4u

He realized the grass wasn't greener or she realized she didn't like him that much and dumped him.
It's so individual for the couple. He really really hurt and disrespected you. It depends on how much you love him, how sorry he is, how much self esteem you have and how able you are to forgive. Do you think he could ever do this to you again..if you think "yes" then I wouldn't give it another thought. It sounds like you still love him. He needs to be truly, completely and repentantly sorry. He needs to talk to you in front of a pastor, priest or rabbi. He broke the marriage vows and threw you under the bus.
I don't think I could. But like I said each couple is different and so is your history. I wish you the best, but he needs to suffer before you just let him come back home.

I am phoenix

Really depends on why he cheated. ....Affairs Linger....and he will just do it again....especially if he thinks you are totally desperate of being alone and you are afraid.
However, if you are a hot little career minded person with financial means, you can probably do much better for yourself.....trade this guy in for a better model...

Douglas B

I wouldn't. I feel you would be keeping a bed for him to slip his shoes under until the next time he finds something better. He didn't get any professional help did he? If no then don't.

ariella

I wouldn't be able to take him back. He'll do it again. He probably found out that since he was the cheater you'll be entitled to more in the divorce when it happens.

amare

Don't let that happen. Go through with the divorce. This guy will only bring your heartache!

Tsunami

no let him go this is sorta the back that broke up and now trying to come back cause someone is bored. that is no excuse. you can do better.

R G

no dond make the same mistake i did i forgave once twice three times how stupid was i

joann j

Have you even thought that maybe he wanted to get back together because the girl he was with booted him out? I wouldn't trust him if I was you. He would probably do the same thing again. You don't want to keep getting your heart broken do you? Anyway you should make him suffer a little bit for what he did to you. I'd let him go ahead with the divorce and you go on your way and find someone that won't be cheating on you. You deserve better sweetie. Don't fall for it!

Supernatural Girl

If you love him and think that you guys can rebuild the trust than go for it. it will be very hard though.

YssiK

I think it depends on you...Everyone will tell you to let him go, he's no good. The questions should be to you will you be happy, living with a person who has betrayed you? Can you learn to forgive him completely, if not you won't be happy. Best of Luck to you!

smilewaitsyou

Forget it you would never be able to trust him.

misstigeress

My grandmother always told me that once a persons cheats they will do it again. My experience has been that statement is true.

I am left scratching my head why you would even ask should you? He cheated once before filing then again after he filed. How can you be sure there were not more than those two? I would hate to say that a therapist could work. I think your hubby wants his cake and wants to eat it too. If he cares so little of what his cheating does to you, you shouldn't care what this divorce does to him. What is his sudden about face for wanting to make it work? Is he just being selfish? I hate to sound mean but that is just how I see it.

iyamacog

If in your heart it's something you need to do, then try. However, he had his fun, at your expense. And also took the time to file for divorce. I'd let him have his divorce. Have yourself checked for any 'gifts' he may have brought home to you. And be sure that you speak with an attny to ensure that receive e/thing you're entitled to.

samiwami5

no he tried to toss you one time what makes you think he won't do it again.why not give yourself a break and start a new life with someone that is worth it

yacwithtee

Actions speak louder then words. He cheated and then filed for divorce, now he wants you back, does he want you back because the other women decided she didn't want him. What happens when you take him back, he cheats again and files for divorce, or may be he has no where to go. A man that loves you won't cheat nor file for divorce.

lorisam7879

Eh....no. Obviously he has commitment issues. He cheated once, filed then cheated again, now he wants back together? What has changed? Why does he want to fix the marriage?
I would pause the divorce, and see what has changed, if anything. It would take a long time and a lot of effort for me to forgive and trust a habitual cheater, but it may be possible. He should show you he's changed and prove you can trust him before ANYTHING happens.

The Cutting Edge

Wow he has nerve to say that all should be forgiven and forgotten. I ask the question of if two people are close in the beginning and one does this how can there be reconciliation where you erase the wrong doing of this magnitude? How can the trust be reconsidered to be placed back in both of your lives? See for some it's too easy to say sorry and please take me back. He filed for divorce too. I find all this too hard to believe him and swallow all this bull sh**. I think you have to figure if it's worth going back. Can you see through those eyes any thing worth saving? I back off of judgment and use the thumbs down on the idea. You can take your chances on the lies and deceit..........

Jasmine

If he has already filed for divorce, then sorry hun, but do you really actually have a choice in the matter?

It looks like he's already made up his mind, even if he is umming and aahing at the moment.

Not really sure what you think you can salvage from this mess.

Alexis C

You really are asking this? I'm sorry, but did you clean the dirt off your back from the last time he walked all over you? Screw him. This is the only way he will learn to respect you. Do not look back.

alines

If you BOTH think it's worth the effort, it is. If you both want to try, get yourselves a good marriage counselor.

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