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Laurie
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Good for you! Your kids deserve a healthy smoke free life. If your husband can quit after having kids, why can't he quit now? Why procrastinate? He may think a few extra cigarettes don't matter, but every cigarette counts. Besides, the effects of secondhand smoke can be worse than those of the smoker him/herself. Be consistent. Tell him that you're sorry, but you feel very strongly about this and you are not willing to give in.
Congratulations on realizing that this is the best for your children. You will make a great mother.
XOXO,
Laurie |
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sanbox69
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good for you!! |
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luvlisteningtomusic
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You cannot change him and the kids will not change him it will be up to him to change himself. It is ok that you put your foot down and told him. Take it from a smoker it is so very hard to quit. He could quit and after you find out your pregnant he could start again. You should of thought about this before you married him. |
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Bassman58
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It is not realistic. Your husband will quit when he sets his mind to it. Nicotine is like any other addiction, you can't make the person stop unless he or she wants too. |
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Coolio A
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it's good and bad in some ways. it's good that you don't want him smoking around your kids, but that was kind of harsh. smoking is a very hard habit to quit and it's not a one time answer where you say no, and they will automatically stop. it takes time. |
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♥Ms. Heart♥
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My man smokes too and I hate it! But as long as he doesn't smoke around me, I'm fine! He should respect you enough to at least not smoke with you around... |
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cope_acetic
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It won't happen unless he is highly motivated.
If you are willing to wait forever, stick to your guns. But know also that you CAN keep his filthy habit out of the house and car!
I am an ex-smoker--tell him If I can quit a 3-pack-a-day Kool habit cold turkey after 27 YEARS, he is a sissy if he CAN'T quit!
This chick is 3 years smoke free! |
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luisamapacha
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He won't quit once you have kids. They never do.
But you have to realize that you've always acted okay with his smoking. It's unfair to drop this on him now, when he thought everything was okay.
That being said, stand your ground without pressuring him. He has to quit on his own, because he wants to, not because you're forcing him to. (That just leads to a husband to smokes in secret.)
Make it clear you'd love to have kids but won't until he quits, then drop the subject. |
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Kris L
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If you 'hate' his smoking, then you had better LEAVE him and find a 'non-smoker' to father your kids. If you LOVE HIM then ALL you can do is ASK him to 'smoke outside' when you are pregnant and after the children are born ... second hand smoke is 'dangerous' but you did MARRY a smoker, and that does IMPLY that it's 'okay to smoke around you' ... by 'just kind of letting it go' and marrying him when he obviously had NO INTENTION of quitting, you have put your 'seal of approval' on that behavior, and you now are fighting a losing battle to try to get him to quit smoking even BEFORE you get pregnant. YOU are at fault here for THINKING you can 'change his behavior after marriage' ... and YOU may have to 'pay the price' ... |
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Mommy of two beautiful ♂
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No, you are doing right smoke are bad for kids or pregnancy! |
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spanky1492
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You should take a stand but this is manipulation. |
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Matilda
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i think it's great you told him that. second hand smoke can kill you too. . . good for you!!!!! don't back down!!!! |
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miss tennessee
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Not only is it NOT wrong it is absolutely imparative that he quits Before you even get pregnant. The health of your children is #1 and it will be so much easier for him to quit before you have kids anyway! |
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mmm..whynot
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as much as i am against cigarettes putting pressure on him will not make much difference.. he will quit when he is ready.. there are times when people quit when you east expect it. maybe the birth of his kid would make him quit.. mayb not!! .. he might quit for a bit then go back after child is born.. no guarantee.. you met him a smoker most likely. where i work there is a pulmonary doc who is amazing at helping others quit but you have to be willing .. find one in your area.. as long as your husband is open to it. the more pressure you put on him the worse it is.. |
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Kayla J
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UMMMM ...just tell him to cut down and smoke away from you and when you have kids to not smoke around them... that is all you really should have to say i mean telling your full grown husband that he cant do something and have children is like telling a diabetic that they cant have a diet pepsi because they are taking insulin... it is just a way to start a fight and if you want kids you will overlook it more... why did you marry a man? to change him? you fell in love with the one who smokes and should cherish him whether he smokes or not... it is not right to take away his fatherhood just because he is a smoker.... it is morally wrong |
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answer
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Smoking around kids raises chances for learning disabilities. It's not wrong for you to want him to be healthy for your families sake. Smoking is terrible, and may leave his kids fatherless. My dad died of lung cancer because of smoking and his dying words were how he ruined his life and wished he hadn't smoked. Does your husband want to see your kids graduate or get married? My dad didn't get to. |
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wendileen
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It's a good idea, but it probably won't work. If he's a hard-core smoker, he might just prefer smoking to fatherhood. Then what? You give up having kids? It would probably be more effective to discuss with him that you insist that he stop once you have a child, and then just make it a goal at that point. Don't let him smoke anywhere near you, or in the house or car, and that will get him started on quitting. You shouldn't be around second hand smoke if you're planning on getting pregnant, or are pregnant anyway. And obviously, children shouldn't. He might feel more motivation to quit once he's responsible for another person. |
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chmar11
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Sounds pretty smart to me. I grew up with a step dad who
smoked and it bothered me. No matter where I would move
to in a room the smoke always seemed to drift my way.
Sometimes I would go outside it bothered me so much.
He recently passed away with lung cancer. (I'm sure it
was due to smoking since he was 19). He was only in
his early 60's. Maybe you could show him statistics of
smokers dying from cancer or something that would
scare him into stopping? Good luck. |
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sexi in pink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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no thats totally right!!!!!!!!go girl |
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guardianangel2008
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The question is are you ready to have kids? If your husband's habit is smoking than thats better than other habits. But its your decision if you want kids with your husband if he plans to quit I think you should believe him since you know him well enough. However, if you plan to have a baby he must not smoke around you at all and to take it outside at all times. Just try encourage him to quit. |
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dizzygrltoo
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Nope it's not wrong. I told my hubby the same thing. |
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Steph
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When you are pregnant your baby will suffer from your husbands second hand smoke as will as you. Very UN-safe for you and especially the baby!!!! |
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Poppet
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No, you have must do what you feel is in the best interests of your children's (even if still unborn) health.
Still, when you put ultimatums out there be prepared for the consequences. If he never stops smoking then you will never have children. Are you okay with that? |
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David H
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No, this isn't wrong. It is sensible. I'm a smoker and I'm saying this. I don't think caring for a newborn is very compatible with quiting smoking. Now would be a better time. I think you should make it clear that you want him to quit whether or not you have kids. |
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•·.·´¯`·.·• xVIcTorIAx •·.·´¯`·.
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no its not wrong, smoking is very bad for a pregnant woman and even worse for a little baby stick to what you say its for yours and unborn childs sake |
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remlap47
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I totally agree w/you also. Stand your ground. It's not just the 2nd hand smoke issue which of course is a real concern. It's also the fact that kids that grow up around a "daddy" who's a smoker want to emulate what "daddy" does, and that sort of thing. Just hang in there++++ |
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Icewomanblockstheshot
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you are not wrong in the least bit; just be sure he is committed to quitting forever, he cannot smoke around children...at all |
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Hey Hey Hottie
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i think that's a good thing so then he would be more healthy when the kids are older |
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