Is it wrong to be married for security rather than love?

The Steele's

As long as you and your spouse know the reasons behind the marriage there is nothing wrong with it. I've seen great marriages based on love, money, security or whatever. And I've seen not so great ones. As long as you work together and plan to continue that if children are brought into it then go for it.

Food for thought: Arranged marriages have a 1% divorce rate while love marriages have a 50%.

travelinbianca16

I do not think it is right but people do it all of the time. I mean we all want someone to be there when our luck is down or when the going gets tough. Ideally, you would want someone that you love too. It would be best to have both in one person.

sleepsheepnyc

It's not wrong, but you might regret your choice with time. I hope that you don't.

lady_phoenix39

Yeah, it's wrong morally.

Yvette D

Of course it is wrong....Security should come from within yourself not from someone else....You should marry someone because you love them and because you want to be with them not because you NEED them***

crazy8eddie

No, but it's lonely.

ImThizzin'

yes its really wrong us woman should not depend on somone other than ourselves.

CeciliaM

Well, many cultures promote marriage for security rather than love...so in that aspect many cultures would not consider that wrong.

For me, it would be wrong because I have my own security and don't need a man for that. I am married to the man I love and through his love I have much more than security.

LAYLA R

Yes, marry only for LOVE!

me!

yes!

Life!

ya thats pretty bad

chicago floater

golddigger

walter_nahbexie

Well if you can take care of you.You need not worry.But don't let no man own you.Peace

I have the best husband ever

YES!

faith

I married my first marriage for security. He was a good man and I loved him, but I was not in love with him. The marriage only lasted for a year. If you are going to get married, do it for the right reasons...

endo_chic

YEAH!!

kaybee

i'd say it's more off your fear of being alone so you would rather marry the person who can take care of you then your love for that person but hey ppl get married for all sorts of wierd reasons hopefully yours works out.

shrotiji_1942

when you marry for love, security comes naturally. but when you marry for security, love does not come in between and the goal is selfishness, which may not last long. love is an expression from yr heart but security ha s nothing to do with emotions which are important between the couple.

james w

what would they say to their kids or what would happen when she didnt need that security

Karla T

I believe that is what "covenant" marriages are for (mostly). You commit your self to care (not necessarily love) for your spouse and be a team. But you are marrying for security, economical, emotional, etc. just plain old security.

I don't believe is bad, as long as its a mutual agreement. But it does sound like a lonely end, specially for someone like me... I'm old fashion, I still believe in love.

gypsyveg

Lots of people get married for the wrong reasons and chose 'security' over love, and I'm not talking about just financial secuirty. I think this happens when people 1) are living their lives in fear or 2) they don't know themselves very well.

lil southern girl

I think if it's known up-front, beforehand and both parties find it a mutually agreeable arrangement, that it's not wrong. It's not something I would do as a younger person, but my best guy friend and I always thought we would marry for this reason one day when we were older, in the event neither of us ever met "the One", which we both did.

princessfionafantasy

yes, it is wrong to marry for ANY reason other than love.

loontheklown@btinternet.com

its wrong for normo`s like us but its perfectly acceptable for silly little permotanned 22 year old gold diggers who hanker for a mock tudor mansion in the heart of cheshire that chills their "i cant be photographed without one" bottles of mineral water,...who turn a blind eye every time their footballin husband/boyfriends are .....ahem! ..playing away!

Katie

Yep.

aleah2515

of course its wrong!

from_a_dark_place

Yes. That's not to say that you shouldn't. What actions will you personally be able to live with? If you have to ask then you obviously have doubts and that is reason enough to wait for true love. Good luck.

California Kush

YEss!!!

*AntA mAriA*

I think that love has to be in the picture. But also you have to feel the security. I think a lot of people really believe the expression "all you need is love" reality check!

Bananaphone

What I've found interesting about reading the opinions here is it seems that all the responses make the assumption that the person marrying for security is female. I am female and am fully aware that I provide the majority of the emotional and financial security in my relationship (mainly because of an age difference that means I am much more established in my career). Does the term Gold digger refer to both genders? The opening post seems to set up too simple a polarisation. Security is surely an integral part of any healthy, functional relationship regardless of who provides it.

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