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Kiki<3
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If you guys really love each other, marriage counseling. Any marriage is worth trying to save. But if you are truly not happy, get an enollment (if you belong to the Christian Church). I really don't think getting a divorce is ever a good idea, exspeacially if you have a child.
I'll be praying for you. God has a plan for you whether you go through with this or not. Jesus will love you, even if your husband doesn't |
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Mickey V
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Might be time to make some changes in yourself so that your enviornment can change around you. |
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zcewaunt
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Kick the zero and find yourself a hero!
Things won't change. It's time to move on and find someone else. You are still young and you have your daughters to think about |
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free_angel
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Get rid of him. You have a cheater on your hands. |
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Cucci33
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are you kidding me? You need to get some self-respect and get the hell out of there. the saying holds true Once a cheater always a cheater! He'll say he's sorry and do it again. I'm a Criminal Justice Major and the only way to get out of what your doing, is to break the cycle. End it and thats it! |
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me
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it's hard not to answer this question without thinkink to yourself "is she out of her mind?" but it's different when you are in this mess rather than hearing your 11 years or partneship in a single paragraph.
I will give you one reason to leave him and it's not because you are worth much more than this. It's your kids. It's much healthier to raise your children as a sigle parent than with both parents arguing. The fact that you are depressed affects your children and you might not even realize how much. Do it for them so you can become strong again and build a solid relationship with them. It really doesn't matter who did what in the past it's where you're at now. if it hasn't changed yet it might never. Is it worth to take that risk??? |
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Mazy
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ummm...yeah...that's emotional abuse, kick him to the curb and make sure you get a court order for child support...
good luck...
p.s. and don't believe those who tell you any marriage is worth saving. Your hubby is one of those who will never change. An hostile environment is not good for your kids or for you... |
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Pamela G
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I can't believe that you have put up with him this long. It seems like neither of you have forgotten about the past either. Let each other go. |
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Tina
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When are you going to get off the Merry Go Round? Time to get on with life. You have a daughter to think of now and she needs to be in a loving, stable and safe home. You are no longer just taking care of yourself. She deserves the best and she is not getting it in your home now. You deserve to be happy and loved....not abused and disrespected. Get rid of him and do not let him come back! |
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resolutewarrior2005
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NO ONE has any right to blame another for their actions. It's a failure to owning his responsibilities and sounds related to stress avoidance associated with responsibilities...Are drugs and alcohol involved? People do this when they are afraid to look in the mirror and effect a positive change for their choices...
You are not worthless! Seek some counseling! Find small projects and set small achievable goals to do. As you progress, you will see how worthless he may be...
This is psychological abuse and you are not receiving positive affirmations...being connected and close to negativity will bring anybody down,,, HE MUST STOP COMPLETELY (which I doubt he can) so that means you must effect change and separate! Immediately for yourself and your siblings!!!
Program 911 and all the local police departments in your area should he escalate when he begins to loose control over you...
Keep the faith, pray, be strong. You can do it! |
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hello
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I don't think it is...
Don't stay together for your kid's sake, either, because parent's fighting all the time is much worse than alternating weeks with each one (I've had both...) |
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dmike1989
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**** him you should just leave his *** |
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Sasha's Mommy
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Sounds like there have been LOTS of ups and downs in your relationship with infidelity. With his emotionally abusive manner on top of that, it is unlikely things will ever permanently get better. I would definitely recommend you divorce and move on in your particular situation. There doesn't appear to be any hope of getting this marriage on the right track and keeping it there. Good Luck! |
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midnightrambler
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You two seem to be very confused people. Think about your children and their future. Your problems are minor compared to what they are going to be when your children become older. Solve your problems one way or another and get on with having satisfying lives. |
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Sam V
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If it didn't work before then it probably wont work now. maybe it's time to move on and find someone that makes you happy. happiness is everything. |
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luv_lace
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First off do you love him and do you really want to be with this man. If you do go seek counseling couples and separate, whatever you decide to do don't stay for the kids sake they can sense what is going on and if your not happy your kids won't be. I can kind of relate I stayed in a relationship that I wasn't happy in mainly because we been together for ever and I was scared to be alone after being with him for so long. I finally got out and at first yea I was scared but I got over it. i rather be happy and alone then together an miserable. |
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Candy C
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You've already answered your question. Nobody deserves mental abuse. Most girls end up staying in it though, because they start to believe all the lies. You are the only one that can make that decision...what do you want? |
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Right Wing Extremist
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And you guys have children that is what is bad about this. You two screw up your lives and drag innocent children into it. Why is it people think having children will fix everything. You guys need to get away from each other, not date anyone, and most of all not have anymore kids. |
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gravity of love
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I'm only 16 but just reading this scares me! i think it would be best for you and your daughters to leave your hubby and move on. you officially know its a problem when hes putting you down...a person wouldn't do that if they loved you |
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peaches6
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No, I would say your marriage has been over for quite awhile. It's going to be hard, but it's time for you to move on and be happy. He's pulling you down emotionally. Good Luck! |
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Sonshine!
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I think the answer is up 2 u. But it looks like this situation is gettin worse than better. Maybe if u both went 2 a Christian marriage counceler, they could really help u.You have got 2 do somethin or this will go on and on with both of u cheatin. U have every right 2 divorce him if he has had an affair AFTER u have been married, providin u didn't cheat on him. But unless he stops cheatin, I would definately move on, unless u want 2 put up with it 4 the kids, but I don't think he is a good role model 4 them. I will pray 4 u and your family.
Love Sonshine! PS: U ARE NOT WORTHLESS,
U ARE WORTHY!!! Don't ever believe that u are less than wonderful! |
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Mrs M F
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I know it has to be very hard.. and you prolly dont want to do it all along( with kids and all).. but youhave to think about what is best for them. to see all that is going on? or to work towards something else? Maybe get some help from friends family and take that big step. I know its hard.. but sometimes it has to be done. if your unhappy more than you are happy. |
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╔Kimmeh╗ ♪♫
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F*ck him. You can do so much better. I would have left a lonnnnng time ago. |
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Blade_III
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Drama. Whyw ould you stay with someone who tells you that you deserved something like a miscarriage? And all the cheating? Damn. If you are that OK with it, have an open marriage and stop pretending. Otherwise end it already. i can't believe you two got married and have two kids. Poor kids. All this drama means they are going to have drama in their relationships too. If for no other reason, leave him for your kids' sake! |
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yallerose
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Never never listen to someone who says you are worthless. No, do not take him back again. Being alone is better than being with a cheating abusive creep. Having a husband who cheated on me and degraded me would make me depressed too. Life is to short to spend one more minute with someone who will never appreciate you for who you are, or support you when you need it. Get out and move on with your life!
Be a good mother and work on making you and your daughter happy, and you will be there before you know it.
I did this very thing, and 20 years later the creep is still a cheating creep and I am very happy with a good husband, my daughter is happy, and the creep is miserable. What goes around, comes around! |
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Tbone64
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Love isn't supposed to hurt. If he really loves you, then he wouldn't mentally and verbally abuse you. The affairs that the two of you have had show that there are some serious problems. However, for him to blame you for his actions...he's less than a man. A real man takes responsibility for his actions. A real man would be there for his wife and children. Let him go, focus on you and the kids, and don't worry about trying to meet someone else. Get yourself together first. |
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rita_hiemy
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Let the marriage go................
Focus your life right now on you and your children............
The damage is entirely tooooooooooooo much and you need to be functional for the children because they are the most important factors of your life....................
You being depressed and worrying about the maintenance of your marriage isn't healthy at all!!!!!!!!!!!!
My advice to you is don't blame him and you don't take the blame as well, it's nobody fault it just isn't in the cards for you and him................ Maybe being apart can heal the relationship and become friends more or less and raise the children, together even though you guys may be apart..........
Regroup and get confidence and do what you need to do for you and the children and get your life together, let him figure his own destiny without you because he's messed up right now as well and pointing the fingers isn't getting this situation any better because if you ask me, you both are at fault but there is no reason to begin pointing the fingers at one another.... Good Luck and God Bless..................
Also ask God for guidance and endurance through all of this he can give you a better answer for this situation..... |
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nickle
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#1 You are ONLY RESPONSIBLE for YOUR OWN ACTIONS------and no one elses' so tell him to get off his "high horse" and stop degrading you and start accepting FULL RESPONSIBILITY for his SCREW UPS and you will accept full responsibility for your screw ups. UNTIL this happens your marriage will not work. The past is the past so LEAVE IT THERE in the PAST! |
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yellowdj
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Well , you know what, you don't have to be. You just need to pull yourself away from this horrible cheating hubby of yours, because obviously it's not good for him, for you or for your children. You are all suffering, and need to stop hurting each other. First he cheats, then you cheat, then he cheats, then you and and and....it's crazy. You are young, your children are young enough not to suffer too much from a break up at their age, and you guys can make it work without having to married to each other, or live together. Don't ever doubt yourself. You can always remarry if you like, but stay single for a while, get your life back together, and your children in a new routine. Keep the communication open between you and the ex to be for the kids sake. All will be fine. I have been through a horrible marriage like yours, and pulled myself out of that situation years ago. Everything turned out just fine. It's hard to see outside the box right now because of the crap you are going through, but there is truly a light at the end of the tunnel, and you will love not having to deal with that kind of crap anymore. More time to spend with your wonderful children, and concentrate on you and your life. I believe in you, and I know you can accomplish anything you want to, so go for it. Good luck. |
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Blondie12
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Divorce is hard...but in this case...it's the right thing to do. There's probably so many more men that would love to be your husband. If you want to be happy....move on....I know its tough, but its best for you |
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not me
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I think your marriage has run its course. The longer you prolong the inevitable, the longer you live in dread of the end PLUS the pain and fallout of the relationship actually ending.
Just put yourselves ahead of the game and go straight to dealing with the pain and fallout of the relationship ending. Why waste your life agonizing?
I am so sorry, I hope it works out. |
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