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jaynie
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Not an easy answer i am afraid - the only way of finding out is talking to him and look straight into his eyes, if he can't look at you straight in your eyes he could be lying (i have been on a course about how to discover if someone is lying). 9 years is a long time just to throw it down the drain on hearsay and possible mix up.
Is your friend reliable? why hadn't you told him you were going out?
I think you 2 really need to talk honestly and make sure he realises that it is make or break with your relationship, that you want to trust him, but the evidence is mounting and he needs to be very convincing. Also could you not talk to his friend and his girlfriend - would they not tell you the truth? |
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Scatty
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You gotta sit down with him and confront him. If youve been with him for 9 years, chances are that u will know if he is lying or not.
I know its gonna be hard but keep an eye on how things are generally within the relationships. If things have drastically changed, like him making more of an effort, smelling different and being distant with you, then the chances are either he has or is being unfaithful. There will be signs...
Go with your gut instinct then you can decide if you believe him or not |
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welshwife
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if you dont trust him then this relationship is over, you need to confront him and say to him that if he is not honest with you that you will leave him. dont get walked all over you are better than that. |
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Snowth
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Men are cheating scum and will do anything for a quickie. I should know, I am one. So the answer is 'probably' |
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Oh no!
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If you don't trust him then what is the point anyway? His stories sound decidedly dodgy though so the answer to your question is probably yes. |
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flower
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it sounds a bit of a story from him. why dont you follow him some night and see it for yourself. i hope after 9years he wouldn't do it to you. find out where he is going and follow him about a half hour later. |
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meow22
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im sorry to say so but it does sound like he is ceating, if he went away with his mates then why was the reciept for only two people,.... and if your mates saw him with a girl, was his mate there with his gf..? and also did she see him kiss/cuddler her, i know its bad but dont say anything more till you get more proof, as if you do it will make him more secretive and hide things more... you need proof to show him to his face....
you could act all sweet and innocent appologise for suspecting him..( obviousely an act!..) so he gets comfortable again, then look in his diary, coat, wallet or mobile is the best place for more proof, even maybe try and trip him up by speaking to his mates about the night away and see if they drop him in it.... and then theres always checking his bank account foir further proof...
i know you shouldnt have to do this and i feel for you, but i have been in the same situation and when blokes cheat all rules go out the window i say!!!! |
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uknownotlove
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give him some benefit of doubt and at the same time keep an eye for more evidence....if u get some credible stuff against him give him a chance to explain....if compulsive misdeclarations continue what option are u left with other than moving on. |
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lex
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one quick way is to write down what he told you and do it now,,put it away and next month ask him the very same question again,,lying is hard work and given the time set it is unlikely he will remember exactly what he said,,trip him up and then read out what he said just after if supposedly happened,,then if he is lying,watch his face fall. |
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_SkY_
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oh sweeti....look in his eyes and try to see if his lieing to you....9 years is a long time.but it looks so obvious you know what i mean?
give it time..and if it keeps happening where he always rips out excusez from his butt..leave him..im sure there are many guys out there who would love u |
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Peter_F
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pretend you are happy with his explanation, but do follow up what is he up to with this particular girl, then maybe you can catch him red-handed next time, if he actually cheats. |
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miss judgement
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It sounds to me as if your whole relationship is built on mistrust. You went out and didn't tell him you were going - you must have had suspicions to feel that you had to 'spy' on him.
You need to take a reality check - if you have been together for 9 years it doesn't seem as if you have gone very far down the road to a fulfilling, mature relationship.
You know the answer to your own question but I think that you are trying to convince yourself that everything is fine - do you really want to spend more of your life with somebody that you don't trust? |
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Tartlettes
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9 years in a relationship and he hasn't marry you yet ????
wow .... crazy ...
but about the cheating ... i'm not sure ... maybe , maybe not. |
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kt-lou
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yes i think your boyfriend is cheating on you. the signs seem as tho he his.. |
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taketwo
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get rid of him, he is a chav |
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Blonde_o2
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**** thats a long time to throw away if he didnt i think you should say look tell me the truth and if he denys it walk out and stay walkin and if he admits do the same no point bein with a lad you cant trust |
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clickclack81
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Confront the situation. Even if the truth hurts! |
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stormy_sinderella
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Have u noticed any changes in his behaviour recently ie has he started going out more on his own and so on ? Try sitting down with him and talking rather than yelling or accusing. He may be telling the truth. I hope u manage to find out the truth and i hope it turns out that he is not cheating. Good luck and best wishes for the future. x |
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Jade22
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What do you think? Do you believe him? It's very convenient though that the receipt got "mixed up" If your friend is an honest true friend, Im sure she/he wouldn't have lied to you. First get all the facts right before accusing him of anything. It just sounds to me like his excuses are a bit contradicting, because why would he say that she flirted with him, but he didnt do anything - Does he feel quilty about something? I dunno, but the excuse about his friend owing him money and the slip got mixed up, sounds too weird. |
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Emily Hobhouse
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The trouble with men is that they often lie when caught out. I don't know why - must be afraid of Mummy. Anyway, for some reason they always deny it. Bear this in mind.
I'd be suspicious - why should your girlfriend lie? |
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mcardham
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how much of a good mate is this mate who told you about seeing him with someone else? trust i think is a key thing in a relationship if you dont have trust there is no point because all you will end up doing is worrying about him and thats aint good for you because you will drive yourself insane! |
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rose apple
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you know he is but you're not ready to accept the truth.
i know it hurts but you will be better off without a man who lies to you. |
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cheetah7
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Unfortunately, it sounds like it. Gather up more evidence and then confront him with it. Then decide what u will do from there. |
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Patience
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9 years? You should definitely be able to fully trust him by now...otherwise you realize that its not worth it.
He obviously has an explanation for each event... It is your decision to believe him and let it go, or to not and to end it.
Trust is so crucial in a relationship...after 9 years im sure you know him quite a bit...im sure you can tell if he is lying, or not.
Trust your instincts...or trust him...either way make a strong decision to believe what he says...or confront him and tell him that you cant trust him, and then decide from there.
Its tough...but you will get through it...make a choice that you know you can live with. |
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bluez
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Looks to me like he's cheating............is there a reason your friend would lie to you? Did you ask for details of how he was 'cheating'? Was he kissing her?? Sounds to me like he's hiding things...........dump him........... |
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kul
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Hpew!!!
9 years is long time to have been with a boyfriend, anyway i ain't gonna ask why he ain't married you yet.I am not one to tell you to leave him, but it is apparent that he is cheating and lying through his teeth too.i read so many people telling you to leave him, but what assurance have you that the next one won't cheat too???Men are programmed to lie and you can be sure that everyman will cheat at a certain period in a relationship.If he is just starting woth this new girl you can still salvage your relationship, revive it, do things you used to do in the beginning. Take it from me, when a relationship has spanned for a long time it tends to become so ordinary and not so fun anymore, i have been there, he might be craving for the lilttle bit of magic that comes with starting a new relationship. |
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sandra+3...
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Think you know he's lieing to you! Time to have that heart to heart! |
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duel1977
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Be carefull in with the (my mate saw my boyfriend with another girl stuff) A few years ago I was in a night club with my girlfriend and loads of our mates, for a while we were apart in the club and I bumped into a good friend who is a girl that I had not seen for a long while. we were on the dance floor at the time so to talk and hear each other we were talking into each others ears. One of my girlfriends mates (who was not out with us at the time) saw this and the next day at work told my girlfriend that she had seen me dancing and getting "very friendly" with a girl on the dance floor. She confronted me at home very angry and out of control forgeting two things. 1. How stupid would I be to be doing this in a night club which she and loads of my mates are in. 2. Please ask first before assuming the worst you will probably get a sensible answer. I had one the girl in question was one of my best friends for 6 years and my girlfriend knew this already.
Speaking as a bloke in an 8 year long relationship I would prefer my girlfriend to talk to me about somthing like this that bottle it up. The more you do that the more you will find suspision in little things and cause problems in your resationship. |
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bleep
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you cant go off what your mates say, especially without evidence, I was once reported to my girlfirend who is now my wife, that i was seen with a blonde, my dad even said he saw me, my g/f of then now wife was very upset and only half believed me, until she met the person who everyone thought was me, she walked up to him and asked "what are you doing here" as he did look just like me, it was not until she was face to face she realised it was not me, and, he had a blonde with him, thats true, Most men will chat up other women, its an ego thing its when you find hotel receipts for two you need to worry. you were out and did not tell him, it works both ways, just sort this out by getting him to agree to be open and you do the same, you both tell each other when you go out etc, no secrets if it happens after that, well, he is cheating. I did catch my wife cheating some years after being married, but I caught her red handed, so no doubts, I had received lots of reports but I dont belive it until i see it. |
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Bob Mukonka
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Tell your mate, if he wants to save your relationship he has to be truthful and faithful from now onwards.He is definitely cheating on you. |
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