Is my husband a mamma's boy?

Dave W

I too speak with my mother most every day. It is a way I try to honor her and has little to do with me actually and more to do with showing interest in her life and mainly making sure she's okay and not in need of rescue.

I don't think that a man HAS to speak to his mother every day; but that a certain amount of codependency will develop over time when a man tries to be close to his mother.

My girl hasn't expressed a problem with this behavior and I don't make it an issue. She is quite secure in our relationship because the part of me she gets I don't share with my mother -- and rightfully so.

I think that your perception of a problem in this area is cause for discussion -- and NO ... mama doesn't need to know every detail of every aspect of your existence !

Fighting over the matter won't resolve the issue in the same manner as calmly discussing it. Perhaps your insecurity in this area is unjustified.

Also, calling me a 'Mama's boy' would only amuse me because I am pretty secure in my relationships as well ... and a dominant personality to boot so I would never be offended by the moniker and I think you should use it if you think it fits.

vanhammer

He may be a Mommas boy but wouldn't it bother you if she wasn't interested in his medical test results? I don't think it's enough to get all upset about. One call a day and interest in his health...sounds pretty normal to me. Use those calls to get close to your MIL...it never hurts to be on her good side.

haki

Well he is used to stay in touch with his mom......you dont have to be upset for this at least he is not talking with another women.....â˜º

lee911

You married a mommas boy, deal with it or move on. It will NEVER change. She will never let him go and he will never see what she is doing. Blind love or some such nonsense. Accept your fate or remove him from your life, cuz you will never remove her from his.

chlango1

Ok the fax thing is alittle too much, but other than that i think the is ok for him to talk to his mother every day, i will call my mom too if i can

Sassy OLD Broad

YOU are right and your husband is a mama's boy and a big PU*SSY! He should put up some boundaries with his mother. YOU are #1 not mama. She doesn't have to know everything that goes on in your life and she's not going to go down quietly. You tell him to have a talk with her, or you will. And spare not details if you have to talk to her. He feels like he's in the middle and it would be better if he did the talking. But, honey, you should have know that before you married the guy. If he doesn't put a stop to this, you'll have her biting you heels all of your life. He needs some backbone and he needs it before you kick him to the curb with his mama. Godloveya.

Wiser1

He's not a mama's boy. SHE is still trying to control him (and you). A man makes a marriage vow and then his wife is supposed to be #1 because SHE is now "next of kin." Mama moves to the #2 spot. She has a right to know if he's going through medical testing. She does NOT have the right to have his medical records faxed to her. You need to tell your husband that you are supposed to be #1 with him and his mother does not need to know everything about him anymore. If he doesn't understand that, go to your preacher or priest or a marriage counselor and have a couple sessions so that a third party can explain that to him. It's important, to save your marriage, that he realize he is putting his mother's wishes ahead of yours. And that is not good. He needs to TELL his mother that he is married now and that she is no longer entitled to know every little thing in his life. She needs to build her own life so that she is too busy to talk to him every single day, too. He should tell her that. If he won't, someone should do it for him. Does he have sister? A father? Get some help.

St.Anger

I use to call me mom everyday now that she's gone I miss her terribly. My mom wouldn't have test results faxed to her but she would call to find out what the results were. It's a matter of degree. i guess. I closeness to my mom never really bothered my wife. Actually she always says that my mom was more of a mother to her than her own mom.

SWM 38 _4_ YOUNG GF

THIS SOUNDS LIKE MY DAD, AND WHEN HIS MOM REMARRIED AT A LATE AGE THEN THINGS TURNED ABOUT FACE.

Amigurl

Oh, yes. Mama's boy. It sounds like most of it is her, but he's not doing anything to stop it.

S K

He's a mama's boy.

redskins

yes he is, i went through for many years and fought the same way the only thing to do is let him learn on his own, that it gets annoying, what i did was i let my husband deal w/ his mother for everything, it'll all get old in time it did for me, now he sees what and how his mother really is. Now he stand up for me to where he didn't before. (not in a disrespectful way). I hope this helps

Ronijn

Oh man, I think your the right one in this matter, he definitly sounds like a mamas boy to me. Does he have a breast milk moustach?

nessa_gurl04

he sounds like a mommas boy to me if i were u i would ask them both out to dinner and sit down and let both of them know how u feel...they might think your selfish but hes married to U not to his mother!...let her know u understand her concerns and come to some agreement to where u both can be happy:) goodluck

misydoll

He is a little connected to his mother. Try to back up and let her have the information she thinks she needs. Hopefully, he will see this before it comes between you.

Newlywed

I dont see anything wrong with it....Maybe they just have a close relationship? I talk to my mom and father everyday. Whats wrong about it?

B K

The bad news he is indeed a momma's boy, and here's the WORSE news -- he will never, ever stop being one. She will control him from beyond the grave. I am not kidding you here.

Either give in now and let her run and ruin your life forever, or get out now. He will never grow a backbone and stand up to her.

SUBMIT in total humiliation -OR- RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

Rachel Bitchface

Yes your husband sounds like a mommas boy and you are right. Your mother in law needs to chill and get a life of her own and your husband needs to grow up.

wrtrchk

Sounds like what many people call a "Baby Boy," rather than a Mama's Boy. It also sounds to me like there's more of a problem with the mom. I understand that a mom never stops being a parent, but there's some women who fear that their relationship has to end when their boys take a wife. There's a saying that goes, "Your daughter's your daughter for the rest of your life. Your son's your son until he takes a wife," and many women take this to heart. They don't understand that the mother/son relationship changes, it doesn't end. My pet peeve is with those women who make their sons the leading man in their lives. Their sons often play the role of their husbands. And when the little guys get married, moms don't know how to handle that and step back and allow their son's to be responsible married men.

Bill

I have a mother-in-law who is very similar to that. My wife has to talk to her mother almost everyday. She is very involved in our lives, and it can be very annoying. That having been said, it does not bother me enough to start an argument over. You should not discourage your husband from giving his mother what she wants. In the end, she is just a nuisance, and should not be a major problem in your marriage. I would not pick this to be your battle. She will not change, and that is not your husband's fault.

Alisha S

Well he may be a mammas boy... but do u have children? Think to the future and how you will be with a son of your own... it is hard to let go when you raised them. I am going through this with my own son and his new wife. I miss him terribly. Good luck to you... don't be so hard on her because u may regret it one day. Blood is thicker than water.

calliope320

There is a line to be drawn, absolutely. Her calling every day, not a problem. Her calling you, questionable. If he calls at a certain time every day and he hasn't called, she might be worried so it would be reasonable to call you. Asking how things went at the doctor, okay. Having results faxed to her, not okay.

Unfortunately, the only one who can put a stop to this behavior is your husband. He needs to be able to tell her no, but if you're fighting over it, I suppose he doesn't want to.

My suggestion is to pick your battles carefully. Don't fight with your husband over his mom calling you at work, but maybe gently tell him it bothers you that she doesn't believe what she's told and has to get things faxed to her. Be diplomatic, you are attacking his momma after all.

dog2b2000

He is not a mamma's boy because he would be over her house every day and come to her becone call. When she snaps her finger, he would be there. What you have is a case of the meddling mother-in-law and he and you both have to tell her to back off or else it will destroy your marriage. If you have to then move away if you are in the same town. Tell her also that if something is wrong with her son that you will let her know, but faxing her the results are not what you will do. Tell her also that you know that she loves her son, but he NOW has his own family and they come first , but unless you husband sees that their is a problem, no solution will be done and she could be destorying a good thing with you and your husband. He has to also back your decision to keep the meddling mother in law out of your lives...

smartypants909

You are right, but you won't win this one. Why would the doctors office fax her the results, she is not the next of kin, you are, they are in violation of patient confidentiality. She sounds controlling and obsessive about her son, but you will never win against her.

spidermonkeyfingers

He is a momma's boy, but you can tell how well a man will treat you, by how he treats his mother. If it's something you can live with, so be it. If not, then he needs to distance himself from her a little bit.

Thumbs down me now

sounds like his mom loves him very much and just wants to reassure herself that he is ok. as long as she isn't interfering in your married life i would not get so wound up. and i think he may be a mommas boy . but that is not necessarily a bad thing.

Phaylynn

Yeah, he's a mamma's boy. And she is a freak. Just shake your head and try not to get involved.

free_angel

He has "MAMMA'S BOY" written all over him.

berry

Yes, he is a mama's boy and his mama can't let go of her baby to live his life as an adult. She and her son need counselling.

Kath

Well looks like he is! But i don't think you should worry too much maybe they are close and she worries 'bout him a lot, so don't worry he's married to you not his mom!

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