Is there even one mature individual who can answer a serious ? today?

kheserthorpe

First of all, stop feeling guilty about your mother. Just like you, she signed on for life when she had kids, and I'm sure she's happy that she's able to do something to help out her grandkids. Would you do the same thing for your grandkids in a heartbeat? I bet you would.

The big question surrounds moving, as I understand it. I'd almost suggest the question is whether to move now or after your daughter graduates. As for the new man ... my guess is if you two are really hitting it off, he looks to move too in a while - if you're moving to an area with a better economy, you'd think that could happen. If not, believe me, there are plenty of other good men out there.

I guess the risk is that if you wait, the economy may cool somewhat, and you'll wish you'd moved when you had the chance. Obviously leaving your daughter with family isn't ideal, but life isn't ideal, you make do. How does she feel about it? My father got shipped to boarding school when he was 8. I knew kids in high school whose parents lived on a different continent. When I was 17, I was in university, and _blissfully_ living away from my parents. So living with grandparents at 17 is maybe actually a nice time for a step forward to adulthood. Of course, she's had a tougher childhood then a lot of kids. How does she feel about it? Does she have a lot of friends in school? Is she likely to be lonely if you leave, or enjoy having a little bit more independance?

Things to consider. Neither option is perfect, but honestly, neither option sounds terrible, so don't get too hung up on it. I don't think there's a really _wrong_ choice, so do what feels right for your family.

k.

happygirl

I'm sorry but I have read your post and totally don't understand what you're asking.

ambitious_highschooler

i agree....we aren't sure what the question is here.....if you are asking us if you should leave this "wonderful man" because you are financially unstable at the moment, that is crazy. no, if he likes you or loves you, then he will stick by you.....maybe you could provide a more specific question?

That 70's girl

OK, I am taking you serious. I have been a single working parent before. But you have not asked a question here. You have given us your life, but what are you asking. We can not help you sweety, unless you ask something. Perhaps you just forgot.

La Guacha Bautista

I don't really get what the question is.. I guess you would have to leave in order to pay your debt to your mother, right? In order to do that, you would leave your child with someone else and leave behind the man you love?? Well, in my opinion, nothing is worth leaving your child behind.. I, as a single mother with NO significant other, have been through the same situation.. Although, my father helped me and I am paying him back little by little, NEVER did I leave my daughter behind.. I think you should rethink what you are doing.. You shouldn't have to leave your child behind for any reason...

I need him â™¥

Is there any way that you could stay with your daughter and the man but still be with your mom? Does she not want to help the man and you or does she not have enough money to help all three of you (you, your man, and your daughter)? I know you need the help from your mom but your daughter is also important and you shouldn't leave her behind. I really don't know what to tell you to do but I hope the questions I ask help you think of possible ways for all of you to stay together. Good Luck and God Bless. E-mail me with what happens!
(If you feel this isn't mature, just e-mail me (my address in on my profile) and tell me) I am only 15 but I feel when you ask questions about a situation and think them through, that the questions can help determine your outcome.

Kes

This is all whistles and buzzers for me too. What are you asking?

âˆžâ™¥BayBeeâ™¥âˆž

I'm not sure what you are actually asking either. I am someone who can give you a mature answer that isn't rude. However, I need to know what you need to know. Sorry.

phorwanted

I am not seeing a question here.

John Timothy

What a bunch of absurd and grandiose verbosity. What is the question?

peachfuzz

I also do not understand what you are asking. It seems, from your additional note, that you are considering chasing a job that requires you to move from the area?

You have to sit down and consider which is more important at this time - being with your family and exploring a potential relationship with this man or chasing an enormous financial opportunity. (At least, I think that this is the problem you are facing.)

I don't see why it has to be one or the other. If you had a 6-figure income before the recent upheavals in your life, you obviously have a lot of talent and determination. Perhaps you can use previous contacts from your old job to help find a more desirable job? If nothing avails and you decide to stay in your present situation, surely your past work experience can speak for itself, and you can work your way into management in a local franchise. This is your life and you have the control.

If you decide that family is the most important aspect of your life (which, judging by your previous actions, you have) then have a little more faith and work towards a better job in the area you want. Sure, you will not be able to live like you had before. Sure, you may have to be economical, and work your butt off for awhile. But sure as your present path will be difficult, I am sure that you can accomplish your goals. Decide what you most want (whether it is a happy home with your family, a career that you can use to support your distant loved ones, or a completely new change of pace) and go after it with all of the power and strength that you showed to get your first (obvioulsy impressive) job. I know you can.

CC Babydoll

I don't see the question you really want answered.
It sounds to me like you are a very strong woman who overcame an abusive relationship, have faith in God, have a wonderful mother who is willing to help as it should be...and as it sounds like you would also do for her if you could and she needed it. It also sounds like you are a good mom.
Looks to me like you are doing well to overcome your financial difficulties like we all...well a percentage of us...have today.
You sound like you have it together and are trying hard to keep it together for you and your family.
So what is the issue or question?
I am not sure, but all I can say is good job, God bless and keep on keeping on!!!

be cool...

stefani h

Where is the question? if you should move or not? work two jobs to make up for the one. There must be some employment or there wouldnt be a town where you are. You could sell your house and move to a more populated city for work. Or rent your house and move for a job to an apt.

Shy Girl S

I think you're a hard worker and a very dedicated mother to your children...they obviously come first in your life.

Don't worry about having to ask your Mother for help, that's what families do.

I've had to call on my father who is always there for me. There's no shame in it, though we'd prefer to make it on our own.

I'm happy for you, now that you have found a wonderful man to share your life with. Goodness knows, it sounds like you sure deserve some happiness after what you've been through.

I hope good luck finds you. :-)

Stacy

FOr one, I answered the last question, could it be you don't know how to ask a question..another could be that you don't like what your hearing, from strangers no less that have no clue what the true situation is. Another, maybe you should be asking this question of your mother who has obviously told you repeatedly that this situation is taking a toll on her...open your freaking selfish eyes...thirdly...ask your daughter....fourthly ask your new man, that you have only known for 7 months, I'm sure his input is just as valid on your whole life experience as a bunch of online people....

acmeraven

What is the question?????

plumprump26

Sorry you are not getting the responses you were hoping for, but thats what happens when you ask a question and then add a little detail to it. You open yourself up to receive rude and thoughtless answers... Get over it... I know there are some people who actually gave you some great advice that was very helpful, but it wasnt something you wanted to here, so now you got an attitude...

Sweetie its not that serious...As you stated there are 400 million American who are struggling financially, but you are not the only one out of 400 million American who has a tight fitting family...And since you have such a wonderful family who will be there for you and your children, then why dont you and your children move-in with your TIGHT FITTING family until you are able to pay your own bills like MOST of the 400 million ADULTS in American do every day...

Furthermore, getting a PT job was not the only thing available to you. That was the only thing you settled for, because you really didnt want a FT job. Hell, if thats the case, why dont you get another PT job. Once you have combined the two, you would have come up with 40 hours a week. And speaking of work, why did you give a up a 6 figure income in the first place? And purchase a house with cash not knowing how you were going to support you and your children...

gmconlan

I think you're about 100 million over the population estimate.

However, if you're thinking about going back to work in your field, then explain to you daughter and bf that in 3 to 6 months time, you will all be reunited...and keep your promise.

Ralfcoder

I will give a serious answer if you ask a serious question. So far, it looks like you've wobbled around saying "woe is me".

mzindica

I am prepared to give a serious and mature response, but I can't figure out the question here. Sorry!

Can't you move your children and wonderful man with you?

WHY do you have to leave them? You need that support system around you to keep you strong when you feel weak.

Financial difficulty is everywhere, affects everyone. Are 2 PT jobs not an option? Or 3? I have to do that in the past; You do what you have to ot survive, I guess.

Does your wonderful man work and can he help you? Are you that serious in your relationship that you are capable of asking for help?

ash

Ok I think that if you have an opportunity to not only make your life better but your children's you should go for it. Im so sorry to hear what happened to you and your children with your ex-husband. You said your daughter is finally doing well in school. She's old enough to understand that you need to get a better job. And as far as your new bf. If he cares for you enough he will most definetly come with you later, especially since he knows the situation. I hope this helps. Good luck

Tmarie99

What's the question?

wongfiehung2003

if you feel like your mother should not have to help you, then yoiu are doing the right thing by trying to get on your feet, no matter where you have to go for work,or what you have to do, you know your children will be in good hands, and hopefully the new guy can try to understand your problems also, i commend you on your efforts and i wish you the best of everything good for you and youir family.

astutewoman

can you sell your house and down size into something smaller? Get a full-time job, or do some child care/ playdates a few times a week for extra cash. Maybe a better paying part-time job?

Wht about the guy moving in - does he work - he could contribute too - just talk out all the details before he moves in so you are both on the same page..

What are your skills - can you start a business from home? The realm estate market is awful now, but will be great again in anothe ryear or so - what about getting your real estate license and doing that - it is a flexible scheudle...

Or why not move in with your mom temporarily and save money -- then take your kids with you and move elsewhere where employment is higher.

Toronto girl

I agree, can you please repost your question? Not sure if you are asking if it is a good idea to leave your children with your mom or something like that.

delia

Yes and my last answer was serious and sincere.
I would do the same for you only you're not really asking a question (except for the first sentence in your post).

the dude

ok, what is your question?

Switch

Apparently there isnt.
The people on here should have no impact on how you live your life. You have overcome alot with the help of your family. Yes, it is good that you left your daughter behind in order for her to finish high school. She has been through hell and only you can help her overcome it. I think the whole family needs a break from any new men. Women who choose abusive husbands have issues that need resolving before they can get into another relationship. Stay single for awhile, for your kids.

â˜†â™¥ Tinkz Baby! â™¥â˜†

Sorry hun , some people have no idea of the word struggle, you have been through a lot and survived , i hope you find happiness with your new guy.
I didnt see your last Q, i dont think i answered it.
xxx

ladydivam

You have overcome a lot keep on moving forward never loOK back. Thank god you had family to help you. It's ok to look for advice but the decision is yours at the end of the day you have to be happy with the choices that you make. Keep trusting in god and he will make a way for you and your kids.

Maria

Your doing great, and I certainly wouldn't worry about the negative responses. People shouldn't even look at a question if they can't relate!!!! Raising children alone is huge and you sound like they are first in your life which I commend you for. Its ok to have family help out when your down. Let them, I am sure they wouldn't have it any other way. Close family ties are important and those of us who have them are truly blessed, we all help each other in a time of happiness and sadness. Keep it up you are a very strong person

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