Is this A stupid poem To give to my husband?
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Is this A stupid poem To give to my husband?
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I'm going to give it to my husband.. our light died tonight :'( if its stupid i don't want to give it to him... I still care.. about what he thinks .. :'(
TITLE : 4/20/07 - 4/27/09
September burns red
and dissipates into white and gray
go ahead and live your lies
while i fight for my life in vain.
beating me with words that feel like fists
you just can't stop feeding
me more pain
to hold as my shame
Your love always is ripped from me
for the smallest reasons too.
any way to point the finger
was a good enough reason for you.
blood laced in your rage drips from my face.
scratching the skin off my feelings
you make it more raw than it ever before
Your eyes eat me with the poison
you hate me with
and leave me with nothing
Why?
silent song so broken
you drive away.. and forget her.
you want to live without me
as if we never were.
the music of your soul
enraged with hatred and black coal
spits parasites all over our marriage
crowning me for the fall
and placing the weight of your departure
on my plate
you bring me to my knees
and you sing.. you just don't give a ****.
While I silently wither because I still do.
fill your mouth with tar and toxic drugs
until the day your emptier than I am now.
Runnin around in circles
You'll never see the color in my eyes you call brown.
lookin up at you again.
lonely and ashamed
away with me you send.
I have given you nothing but rage and pain
And I don't listen or get it.
So you say forget it.
And completely erase it.
Unstiching yourself from the fabric on our pillowcases
Laying alone at night
Never to hold her again
thats how you want this to go down.
quickly dying... without a sound.
Ripping me from your flesh
you watch me cry
Hard as stone
you serve your goodbye
Looking all around at the things we've made
the pictures i've framed
the dreams I've engraved deep inside me
Burning it down
you say get out
the passion you have to never see me again
is the only love you will defend
Sinking in this sand I once thought was a rock
I let go of the beginning
and go down with flames
enguling our marriage
leaving me in the fire
you walk away
I beg you to stop
But you tell me to stay
you don't even want to look at me
with no tears that ran dry long ago
"You are not my dream girl"
Those words burn me hard now..
Because I see they were always true
Since the Day you vowed I do.
You don't know what love is..
or forgiveness.
So take it all...
I feel you will never miss this.
girl you once called your Phyllis.
you stripped me of my title
as i sit in the theather of my life
watching us fail our recital
Wishing it were different
Our september.. will never be remembered.
I still love you...
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hithere42
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That is a beautiful poem. Obviously heartfelt, and probably beyond my ability. I don't know if your husband is the type to appreciate such things or not.
Two points of hopefully constructive criticism:
-- Even though I think smoking blows, you could probably leave those two lines out, it doesn't fit with the rest of it.
-- Nothing besides "I still love you..." gives much hope for a reconciliation. And be aware he will take things like "you don't know what love is" literally. Be sure these are the messages you want to actually convey (and perhaps it needs to be; it sounds like maybe that is where you two are at now).
I am sorry for your pain. Good luck in your journey. |
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Heisenberg
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doesnt sound like much of a husband. there are plenty of single men out there who cant find a good woman. why not get divorced and give someone else a chance? |
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Jane D
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No its not stupid. I m sorry for your pain. its a good poem in that regard definately shows your pain and the way you are expressing it.
I hope things work out the way they are meant to be. |
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jackielafemme
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If this poem is your love story, better wait until you have your real love story, a little more benign than this. If all this is true, then you shouldn´t care what he thinks. There are two kinds of men in this world, the wrong and the right one, it seems you picked up the first one. If so this is the time for you to reverse damages by loving you more, instead of giving your love to someone who doesn´t deserve it.
But to answer the question, no I wouldn´t give it to him, he may take it as a condecoration to his poor behavior in life, and empower him even more.. |
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onenationhere
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That's good therapy to write emotions down like this but if your husband is like 99% of men on planet earth it will be lost on him,its a good poem but guys just aren't into it,I doubt he will get half way through it before he starts zoning out.It just doesn't have the same effect for guys that it does for women.Try writing a condensed letter with the same type of vibe as the poem. |
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mack
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WOW!! That tugged at MY heart strings and I am not the one breaking your heart. Yes give it to him. It is beautiful sad and if he reads it or not, maybe he will read enough of it to get the message. And Please e-mail me? I would like to take away your pain and love you like you have never been loved before. Will you give me that chance? |
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Danielle
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if you really want him to know how you feel you should because he needs to know. but if not then don't this is a really good one and you can tell your in pain. |
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Tia
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Wow - that was heartbreaking.
I think you should give it to him. It touched me, and if he has a heart at all I'm sure it will touch him too. |
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I smell a rat.
Additional Details
Nevermind, the were at their grandma's. You never know, it happens all the time. My wife drinks far too much and stays out late with the boys.... |
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No Spam
Adult 
Gambling
Unfinished
Deception
Plagiarism
Not English
