Is this a good way to let my ex wife know how much she made me suffer through the divorce she insisted on?

rhoffmanewu

I thinkshe is betteroff without you. Youseem really cold. She reaached out an olive branch for you buddy.

Larry

And the drama never ends.................

Aurred

Could blow up in your face, women are unpredictable like that.

Blond Logic

You do have an anger problem. All I read above is "I".

Get some counseling. You need it.

Good Luck to you. I hope you can find your inner peace.

ARE YOU THE ONLY MAN ON EAREH TOO GET DIVORCED ? GRT OVER IT A-S-S HOLE

J.Z.

Sounds like you are after revenge. It might be best to just not respond to her. Nothing speaks louder than silence. If you do not respond to her you are basically saying "You know, I am over you" and "You hurt me so I no longer want you in my life." The way you suggested -taking her out to eat and all that - just invites drama and also shows her that you are still all worked up about her. You don't need that drama! Just try to heal and move on. Yes, it hurts now, but it'll hurt more the longer you prolong your relationship with her.

Rawrrrr

I think you should realize that "revenge" isn't the way to go. Obviously you REALLY hurt your wife to make her walk out, divorce you, and ignore you. Don't try to weasel your way out of all the things you did to make her act that way. She didn't act that way on her own and she didn't get to the point of wanting to leave on her own, either - that was all you.
Dealing with a husband who has severe anger issues is a TOUGH thing to do. It always seems men like that want to change when you are walking out the door and finally have the courage to leave - I can't say I blame her for the way she acted, it was very natural. If you really have changed then there is no reason you can't at least be friends with eachother, since you did share a part of your life together and/or maybe give a relationship another chance if that is what you want.
Just keep in mind that your wife isn't some heartless woman who just up and left and didn't talk to you. You obviously caused her some real emotional distress for her to act the way she did.

nwnativeprincess

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH............

teresa d

Don't do that you may feel better but no good will come of it just don't bother with her anymore tell her thanks for all the memories and wish her good luck in the further if you do that it will show your still bitter

artyspiff

Why would you waste you time? Sorry to sound cold, but she doesn't want you, so move on. Don't dwell on her. Certainly you don't want to have anything to do with someone who isn't interested in you. You are trying to figure out the why and oftentimes we never find out why! Forget it. Leave her alone and go start a new life! The sooner the better. Sometimes things happen for a reason. My husbands ex left him for another man after 9 years of marriage. He was angry and hurt - his pride mostly, and his wallet! But then we met and he is the happiest he has ever been. Take it from me - move on NOW! Things have a way of working out.

Jay

I can think of no good reason for you to ever again have any contact with her whatsoever.

You want revenge? Give her a sentence of life without you.

Casey

It sounds like your really mad. But I would be the bigger person and just walk away without doing all that stuff. Just move on and she will too.

Dino4747

I would first, get some Anger Management classes, then find somebody else and ignore the ex. You contacting her will let her know she hurt you and won. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. It will eat her up inside if you just ignore her.

johnnys_angel_82

if the divorce has already been finalized then theres no sense in trying to hurt her -- theres nothing you can do that will get to her as she has succeeded in gaining what is most valuable to her which is being divorced from you....

candi k

got a little winky then

Starla_C

Makes you absolutely lower than dirt! Why stoop to her level?

oracle

Well in reading what you posted... she called you because she needed something... for you to fix her laptop. I would recommend a repair shop to her but I would do no more than that. For you to post this it is obvious that it is eating away at you... tell the ***** how you feel or you will regret for not taking the opportunity....it is all part of the healing process.... you need the closure in your life to move on ..

dontknow86

I think NO, NO, No, Dont do that just go to dinner talk like it never happened and your not hurt, You are pouring salt in your cut, Just dont say anything about it. If you show her you still have an anger problem which you do she is right and the WINNER, Do nothing. Trust me

danaluana

If you are still caring about what she thinks about you after she obviously chose to sever the relationship, you have a problem. If you are so bent on her being regretful for her past behavior, then you have a control problem. This control problem probably led to your anger issues which led to her decision to move on without you.

It sounds as if you are on the edge of obsession. Accept her decision. Do not use manipulation on her. Get counseling first for these issues that plague many men. Changing your behavior is the first step you need to take before considering getting involved in any relationship past or present.

Take the information she has given you as a lesson well learned.

ccMarie

She would be luckier if she never had to see you again.

JillA

You had me up until you dropped the bomb on her. It may be even more effective if you keep it on a mature level. She already thinks you have anger management problems, why prove her right? Sit her down and let her know how much she hurt you. Then maybe you can get some closure.
Good luck.

lost_soul

What will happen if you call her and go to this dinner and after all is said and done she tells you what a fool you are that she never wanted you just felt sorry for you and that is the reason she was being so nice. If you want to hurt her just be happy find someone and invite her to your wedding and show her that she was not all that and you moved on and are completely happy and what she actually did was a favour to you. Thank her for divorcing you so that you could meet a wonderful new woman who deserves your love. Your way all your doing is hurting yourself again by bringing up hard memories you need to move on with your life and next time she calls tell her you would really love to chat but you have someone waiting and must go. That will kill her..

Alex B, Ph.D

that is awesome!

Judy S

Have you ever heard that two wrongs don't make a right? If not, it is good advice.

It doesn't sound to me like she is intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. Perhaps she is finding that you two are better people when you are not married and are living apart. Perhaps she has learned to rid herself of the anger or frustration she was feeling when she was living with you as your wife.

I know from my own experience (I was married 17 years) that we behave more civil and show more compassion towards each other when we are living apart and going our own separate ways.

I think the whole sabbotage your are staging is not healthy..for you or for her. In addition, it solves nothing. If you're not interested in seeing her, simply tell her you still feel hurt for what she has done to you and that it is probably not a good idea to see her. On the other hand, if you are interested in seeing her, agree to see her and make the most of it.

Best of luck.

porkchop

Get over it already. Why stir it up now?

georgia b

You've just illustrated to us why she had good cause to leave you. Mental abuse is so unflattering.

Toto

Let her go is past. Keep the little but good memory and smile. Is not easy to find good man or partner.
When we loose we see how worthiest it was.
Get even or pay her back is low class behavior.
Be good love yourself understand weakness, stupidity, don't get angry learn how to forgive people for not being perfect. Try to understand how to forgive and forget - move on.
You are right to not go back.

Springtime

I agree with what you are planning. It sounds like you need the opportunity to confront her and begin to heal. You already know how cold she can be. Do not let her pull you in. Be strong!! Oh and act like you are truly happy without her...

William T

Let it go. You will never be able to hurt her the way she hurt you. If you could've she probably wouldn't have divorced you.

She does not care about you in any way close to the way you care about her. As hard as it might be put her in your heart and mind as an associate you'd rather not see. An annoying uncle or rude neighbor. Again let her go, forget about her.

Love/marriage is a two way street. You not only are better off with out her, you are enhanced by not being with her. The best revenge is living well, but don't live in the past. Go after every ambition and make decisions that are best for you and your life and no one else's.

mrpeabody

What a pathetic and colossal waste of time. Get on with your life for God's sake.

The fact that she called you and sounded the way she did should be satisfying enough. Enjoy your interpretation of the event and move on.

Worse thing that could (and probably will) happen is she will not react the way you expect. As in, you won't get that big "ah ha!" moment you are hoping for. Worse, the reason she sounded sheepish may have nothing to do with regretting leaving you at all. Maybe she feels bad and wants to come clean that she was cheating on you the whole time. Maybe she heard confidence in your voice, now that your not pathetically begging her to stay and is ready to be more honest about why she REALLY wanted to leave. Maybe she's dating someone already.

What I think is you will never be cruel to her at all and have some fantasy about you guys getting back together. If your begging didn't work, this lame move ain't gonna either.

Living well is the best revenge.

abu

thank all i real like what you wrote to us it help me to go on with my life.

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