Is this cheating? What do I do now?

listen to your heart.
my now fiance cheated and got her prgnant and we are getting married and i know how twisted that sounds without going into detail but i di a lot of soul searching so to speak and i just couldnt give up on us. yes you have every right to be angry and you will forgive him in time if you so choose to but take it slow and figure out what it is you want. sounds to me like you really love him and dont want to give up but i don't want to go into to much detail about my life but i do know what you are going through and you can e-mail me at crazybearnluv69@aol.com if you want and i can better explain.

K. N

Cut your losses Girl - from experience - if it happened once it is likely to happen again - you deserve someone who respects you and at least knows if he wants to be with you or not - Follow your instincts.

96vintage

You asked a lot of questions but here goes:

"is this cheating?" - Yes
"what do I do now?" - Get used to being single again
"I am really hurt and angry with him. should I be?" - That's a natural reaction
"Should I forgive" - If you do not want to cause yourself unnecessary stress, you probably should

cheyanne_maples

i would not go back to him cause once a cheater is always a cheater,im so sorry that happened,stay away from him and dont let him back in,trust me my parents went tru the same thing like 9 years ago and still doin it cause my mom keeps letting my dad back in,leave him alone hun,hes not good enough for you if hes gonna cheat,,,good luck and be careful,and take care i kn0w you can you r a woman and your strong..

kkrohn993

Yes he was wrong And you do NOT need to take him back.

god's child

it's called adultery, which isn't only wrong in the eyes of god but also u as his wife. he has put a scar on the relationship. therefore u've lost that ability to 100% trust him hey. but ya know u both can still be reconnected if u do it through god. marriage is something ordained by god as blessings for a family it's the enemy who wants us to break our marriages and control our lives through immoral behaviours. your husband must realize though his actio has a consequence(s). he owes u a bunch of apologies n forgiveness. don't be jealous of him that too has it's adverse effects just have self control and still love him for he's ur husband, but tell him that u hate what he did.

You have every right to be angry with him! Trust while is easy to give is very difficult to regain. Sounds like you need to do some more talking before you can make any decisions. Its easy to say from this side to dump him and move on. But the choice is really yours and one not to be made lightly or in haste. Can you live with someone you don't trust? Search your soul and I know you will come up with the right answer for you.

Good luck!!

marcvialli

Theres no way you should forgive him! He obviously doesnt care for you. People throw around the word love to easy and most often dont mean it. From a guys point of view, im guessing he is saying it in a way to control you, cos he knows it gets to you. But he doesnt mean it, otherwise he wouldnt have done all that other stuff.

Lori A

Whether or not he's cheating is really irrelevant at this point.

He told you he doesn't love your anymore and wants a divorce.

That's it. The rest of it is just you trying to come to peace with a situation that is going to hurt like hell no matter what.

So let the issue of whether or not he cheated go. It's going to just end up hurting you more worrying about it, and it truly doesn't matter anymore.

And as to his change of heart? Yeah, it sounds like he thought the grass was greener on the single side of the fence and he's now learned it isn't.

But now the ball is truly in your court. Do you still love him? Is there enough in common for you to have a happy marriage with him?

I think before you give him an answer (and I would not start even dating him again yet or let him in the house), you should sit down with a therapist and sort out what YOU want and need in life and in a happy marriage. Only once you know what you want and need, can you decide if he has the potential to fit into your picture anymore.

Once you have that answer, you can work with him and the therapist to overcome the trust issues this will have created.

Make the boy wait, until you know what you want. Then take it slow, so he has to prove his worth to you.

Good luck.

Sean

It's ok for you to feel hurt, its ok to be angry. He lied to you, which proves that he was hiding something from you that he knew would hurt you. Someone that is supposed to love you shouldn't be doing things that hurt you.

Joel M

i am not answering you but my girlfriend says no way! and she also says that if he can't spring for more than denny's then hes a loser anyway.

schafer_mail

Stay separated, if you have been intimate with him get checked for STD's, seek counseling for yourself and insist that he attend counseling before allowing him back into the home. Some marriages survive and grow stronger but you have to deal with the issues that brought your relationship to this place in the first place.

Daz

Cut your loses, he is doing you a favor, you deserve someone who truely loves you and isnt going to play games like this. It will hurt and get some support to help you be strong. Guys are experts at saying the right thing at the right time to get you back. But the honeymoon doesn't last. If you don't believe me, then give him another chance-theres only one way to find out, right?

My Answers are always right.

there's no doubt you should be angry and hurt. He did something completely obsene and wrong. Should you forgive him? Thats a question only you can answer. But take into consideration what type of person he is, who you are, how much you are worth {more than him :)}, and if you truly love him and if he truly made you happy when you were together. You two seemed like you weren't really happy together and if thats the case then you don't have to take him back. You should try and move on and find someone that deserves you. Good Luck hopefully i was of some help.

LilTBaby

I am going through the same thing right now. I don't really know what to tell you, everyone keeps telling you to ditch the dog and when you think about what he has done to you, you hate him. But your really love him and just want things to be good between the both of you and to be happy again. I am wishing that my husband wanted me back and was sorry for what he did but he is happy with this new girl and wants nothing to do with me but I still love him. Whatever you do listen to your heart and decide with your better judgement. I hope the best for you and god bless.

Antonio A

Yes it is, but remember that vow, "for better or for worse". Don't rush into a decision. Talk to your friends, priest, pastor, etc.

chigirl

Okie,
Just say NO, don't take him back ...not in this case.
The way you explained it ..it's just doesn't sound right.
He knew what he was doing, he knew you are going to be in pain and it didn't stop him from going with another chick so it won't stop him next time when he will think that he met somebody better or easier.
Honey, be strong very strong !If you survived 2 months without him you can do it! If you need support e-mail me anytime you want to.
I would really like to tell you that everything will be OK in your relationship but I don't want you to get hurt again.
Only a miracle can help him change so don't fall for it again.
Good Luck

sshazzam

Fork him. Leave him and don't let him back.

fooz1

give it 6 months and if he's a good boy then let him come back.

cindos_69

don't forgive him. he's now realizing what he's lost and is regretting his infidelity. don't give into him though, no matter how much he says he loves you. He can't take back the awful things he said and the awful things he did, so why should you take HIM back?

Jerrica

I don't think you should forgive him. He cheated on you and you KNOW you deserve better than to be cheated on by him. So what if he wants to you to come back? He made the decision to cheat on you and that just isn't fair of him to expect forgiving after all he's done to you. Don't give him that satisfaction. Drop him.

notyou311

He sounds like a bum. Once a cheater always a cheater. I don't think it will work but you could try a marriage counselor if he is willing to go. Chances are she figured out that he is no good so he came back to you. It's only a matter of time before he does it again. I'd move on.

zether

i wouldn't forgive, its what he wanted, now he wants you back because he realized what he will loose

leave the looser

scorpion

this isn't totally directed at you and its not meant to make you feel bad. i am a guy and i am SO sick of women that put up with this kind of behavior, i have a couple of brothers who, like me are total gentlemen, i am married they are not. i would never to anything like that nor would my bros. women need to take control of the situation and be STRONG and do what needs to be done. divorce him find someone who deserves you!!!!!!

afreeman20035252

Damn Denny's. Does it every time.

Christina

why would you forgive some that said to your face that he doesnt love you and he was with another woman? why would he keep this from you then let someone else tell you and make you feel stupid, But he loves you now. no he doesnt love you, if he did then he wouldnt have slept with this woman at all, hewouldnt have even lied to you and gone out with "his friends" and taken her out to dinner. dont take him back, why s o you can be wondering the whole time if he really working late or seeing her, is he really at lunch or is he with her,i dont think it is worth it, it is not worth the time or the energy. he wanted that woman let her have him, he wanted to have his fun,let him have fun and let him sleep with all the problems he caused. good luck.

lazybutt916

dont forgive him u deserve beter i was in ur possition but i was so stupid to forgive him i sometimes wish i was stronger that day and had divorsed his *** but yeah dont go back cus once a player always a player and since he sawl that u didnt leave him that time he might do it again thinking he can get away with it again, i say move on and get some one better that respects u but in time ofcourse.

she luvs u

Do you think this is the last time that he will pull this on you if you take him back?

gentlesoul_63

If he really wanted to save his relationship with you he would have done so before he slept with someone else. Now he's had his cake; don't let him eat it too!

Anna M

I don't even know why this is a question for you except that you must be confused over love and grief.

It is cheating by any definition.

His new found love for you is simply out of guilt. He wants to be forgiven. And he feels like sh*t, and well he should.

Proceed with the divorce that HE asked for and do it because you know it is the best thing.

Cheating is the most severe form of disloyalty in a marriage. He has violated a major trust in the vows of marriage. He has broken not only a vow to remain loyal to YOU, but loyal to his commitment.

Stand up with all the strength you can mustar and go forward.

Do NOT belittle your own self worth. You deserve a partner that will not break your heart.

I wish you luck in the future,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

after reading some of the answers given to you I have to comment on "BOB O"

don't pay any attention to the likes of someone like that! Adultery is against a marriage no matter what the pitiful excuses a man may give.

AND I HOPE EVERYONE OF YOU REPORTS "BOB O"

that is NOT a helpful opinion! It is rude and detrimental to this woman's personal dilemma

Blunt Honesty

Don't just forgive. If you want to give it a shot, go to counceling. Otherwise, this will be a sticking point until you do finally get divorced. If either of you aren't willing to do that, then just get a divorce and get it over with.

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