Is this considered cheating?

Jen N

It feels great doesn't it. This connection, the newness and the rush of reciprocated attraction. You don't want it to end, and soon, if you continue, you will want more. So far you have crossed no lines. So far you can justify and convince yourself there is nothing going on. But for just a second think about your wife and her feelings, picture her face when she finds out. Use the wonderful human power of empathy and put yourself in you wife's position. Do you love your wife? Do you value her trust and her respect? If the answer is no, I do not love her or value her then you need to seriously consider leaving her. But don't continue this dangerous flirtation with this married woman, it really isn't worth the pain, truly it won't be. It won't just damage your marriage it will damage you too, think about your own self respect. So far you have done pretty well, the temptation is there all shiny and new, and so far you have resisted going further. So just start jogging earlier again, and use the time alone to think about the things you need to be thinking about, like what's wrong with your marriage and what you can do to fix it. Good luck.

dedanimul505

give me your wifes number so we could run together

Elvira

If you want to keep your marriage, STOP. It would be ok if you weren't having the ideas, thoughts, feelings. But since you are you should back off.

. .

I think you're asking for trouble there. It's normal to occasionally feel lust or whatnot towards other people, even when married, (because hell, we're married, not dead, right?) but you are KEEPING yourself in that situation...giving her the wrong signals and tempting yourself.
You should remove yourself from that situation.

Remember, there's also such a thing as 'emotional' cheating.

Alloy Boy

Cut her off now before you screw her. Gotta fight temptation man, if you can't resist then run another route. Don't bother mentioning it to your wife, just don't do it anymore.

AshleyAwesomeNess

i think im a little young to answer this but imma give it a try cuz you need some help. lol.
its ok for guys to have girls that are friends, but you should talk to your wife and see how she feels about it. if she freaks out then you know that its a no go but if she kinda blows it off than it doesnt really bother her.
= D its not bad to have a little crush. ; D

â™¥ â™¥HONESTY RULESâ™¥â™¥

Sounds like a breaking heart waiting to happen.

Unless you actually plan to leave your wife, I would strongly suggest not forming connections with strangers.

~jaded~

You are heading into dangerous territory. It will never end good if you keep it up.

redhead27

Its obvious you are putting yourself into a tempting situation... and as it is good your are acknowledging you are being tempted, you should maintain your control and REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE TEMPTING SITUATION.

Basically you are putting yourself in a position that would make it easy for you to cheat. So... its your decision to keep running with her and flirting with her and what next... you are obviously looking and setting yourself up for failure here. no one to blame but yourself now, so my best advice: find another time and place to run.

khyoung69

I wouldn't consider this cheating but if this affection continues, it may lead to it. You make no mention if you are happily married. Even if you are or aren't, this may be something the wife wouldn't be too happy about. If I were you, I'd cut down on the "by chance" meetings. Don't necessarily cut her out completely because men and women CAN be friends in this 21st century, contrary to popular belief. I just think that you need to assess some things in your life and decide is it worth causing a wave in your marriage. Women are not idiots and I don't think this is something you can keep hidden from your wife forever.

Y Girl

There is nothing wrong in meeting someone and becoming running buddies. Now you need to get your thoughts straight. Can you just see this blond as a running buddy or do you see yourself falling for her either physically or emotionally. Do you want to jeopardize your relationship with your wife.
Life will always put you in that spot. I have been there, chose to end connection with the hot guy, just to make sure nothing would happen to my marriage.
You are always going to see attractive people out there, the question is are you willing to put your marriage in jeopardy for them.
Technically I don't consider what you have done cheating. And I would not tell the wife just to keep piece and less jealousy in the relationship.
Good luck.

mt75689

What you should do is go back to your old running schedule.

The only reason you caught up to her, and asked to run with her is because she's attractive. You're such an idiot. I know this violates the holy community guidelines, but you are ~ you're an idiot! Whenever an attractive woman crosses a guy's path and he just can't let it go ~ he's an idiot!

What you're doing now is seeing how close you can get to the fire without getting burned.

You're already thinking about this woman every day, and she's probably occupying more and more of your thoughts, and eventually you're going to want to sleep with her. The only thing that will stop you is if she puts the brakes on.

Melissa

First off
You should tell your wife
If it was nothing then you would tell her but since you are obviously attracted to this woman and are having thoughts that you know you shouldn't be having, you haven't told your wife. Tell her

Seeing that you declined this woman for coffe twice is indication that you at least know that it is wrong. (Or something is wrong)

I don't think you are cheating. I think you are setting your self up for cheating and getting yourself over your head.

I would stay away from this woman or any woman that makes you feel or think doing wrong against your wife and your marriage. It is important to stay away from temptation. Because we as humans are weak and easily fall.

Maybe try and get your wife to go out running with you... or do something with her that you both enjoy doing. Work on doing something to strengthening your marriage... not destroying it.

Good luck :)

Alicia

What do you think our answer is going to be!! Stop running with this woman. Anytime you are deceiving your spouse, it's cheating. You are headed down a very scary road, so turn around NOW.

Nicole Lynn

If it is something that you are hiding from your wife, which you are, then yes.
Simple as that. If you feel compelled to hide it, then it isn't innocent.

âœ¿Life is Beautifulâœ¿

If you want to keep your wife and your marriage... I think you should stop. Once in a while if your intentions are good, run with your new friend. How would you feel if yuor wife was running with a hottie?
=0) Good Luck!

ZaZa [Lily is here!]

You're putting yourself in a bad situation. I would stop before you get too tempted, ESP if you are unsure!!

sweet01dee

YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! YOU ARE A MARRIED MAN AND HAVE NO IDEA HOW BAD THIS WILL HURT YOUR WIFE. YES, YOU HAVE NOT DONE ANYTHING PHYSICAL WITH THIS WOMAN, BUT YOU ARE TAKING TIME OUT OF YOUR DAY FOR HER CAUSE THAT'S HOW IMPORTANT IT IS FOR YOU TO GET YOUR FLIRT ON. YOU NEED TO STOP THIS IMMEDIATELY BEFORE SOMEONE GETS HURT!

Nadia

Thank God you declined!! Do you realize how many guys would have "gone for it????"

Good for you!! Keep up the momentum: change your run time and avoid to see her. The more you're with her the more you'll be inclined to be with her. Save yourself while you're ahead. Think of your wife and the faithfulness you are to her. You will be blessed by your efforts!

S H O U Aâ™¥

you should consider that you're already married and cut it out.. she should know better too.. and you purposely matching time up with hers..that's a little creepy.. i'm sure you guys are both making each other feel good but what does it say about her asking you for drinks knowing that you're married and she is also..i sense trouble and best for you to be good to your wife.. unless you want to pursue this don't be greedy and drag your wife along...maybe you don't love her cause you didn't mention it at all... would it be ok for wife to do the same... if you tell her that means you will stop and you keep it a secret that means you have more on your mind then intended...

DANNY D

dude you are asking for trouble...you only feel this way b/c its something new and exciting, but if you were to leave you wife for this woman the excitement would pass, and you might be left asking yourself if you've made the wrong decision. there's a reason you married you wife! if you are planning on doing something with this woman, i hope your wife is knocking boots with some other guy....I hate cheaters.

jessesgirl76

stop now b4 u do something u will regret. u have opened the door now slam it shut b4 anyone gets hurt.

tiredofthis

To ask this, you already know the answer. Think of it like this. If your wife wanted to run with you, would you still run with her AND the lady? No, of course not. So there's something there that shouldn't be. If your wife walked up and the two of you were flirting, talking, whatever, would you feel uncomfortable or like you'd been "caught"? Then, duh! Yes, it's pretty much the same because the OPPORTUNITY is there and so are the thoughts. Is it worth losing so much?

Michael W

would you mind if your wife was doing the same thing?
you already know its wrong , you just want someone to give you an excuse to do it.

Rebecca S

That to me would be an affair. Just thinking thoughts it disloyal to your wife.

hope

you play with fire.

Ms. L

AT THIS POINT I dont think it's cheating, but I do feel people should treat others the way they would want to be treated. So with that being said, how would you feel if your wife was doing the same thing u were doing, having the same feelings about someone else that you have about the woman you have been jogging with? If that would bother you and you value your marriage, then you should stop whatever you got going with this lady before you get in too deep.

KiarasLilMomma

Stop running with her before it turns into an affair. You purposly cut stretching short so you could meet up with her shows you have other intentions. If you only want your wife stop this before it turns for the worse... if you want the blonde tell your wife so she can divorce and find someone better and faithful. Tell her your running with this blonde and notice how she reacts because I bet she will not be happy. Go to a different gym or go at a different time.

And yes deceiving your wife like this is cheating. Your making your wife look like a fool so you can get your flirt on.

Natasha

Hello there. I am that jogger. Well, at least in a situation which was very similar. I'm married too, and was very attracted to a guy who's also happily married. Why do we people do this? Of course we felt that playful flirting was only meant to be fun, and seemed innocent enough, but the truth is...when there's chemistry, both people end up wanting more...whether intended or not from the beginning (it's usually not planned out). That's just the way we humans are wired.
Yes, you feel a connection with blondie, but all these posts above are correct...it would truly crush your wife's heart. It is so true--how would you feel if the roles were switched? Remember that first connection you had with your wife when you met her? Remember your marriage commitment to stay true through thick and thin? As much as it pains us to do it, we need to guard our marriages and stay away from those that can tempt us away.
Your wife is no doubt a very good woman and you're probably in great shape as you work out and run. Will your wife consider jogging with you--even one time? That would certainly put the kabosh on the situation if you were to be out jogging with your wife when you saw blondie. I suggest you find ways to spend more time with your wife, and appreciate the woman that you have. After all, there is more to this life than the initial physical rush of adrenaline. Think of all that she does for you--working hard and being faithful to you. You can view your resistance of temptation as a way of loving on your woman.
Just ask yourself, if you continued this flirting, where would it lead? Good for you for saying no to the invitations, but as painful as it seems at first, you really should not run with her. The guilt and distraction you already feel is only going to pull you away from the most important things in your life.
Sorry my answer is so long winded, but obviously I've been thinking a lot on this subject myself since I've been in a similar situation, and these are all the things that I have recently been working through myself.
What the other posts have said is too true...you are developing an attachment already. These attachments get harder to rid yourself of the longer you wait. But even if you stayed physically faithful somehow, it is true that there is an emotional bond that can happen. Of course all this would hurt your wife.
So, why do people do this kind of thing? People generally want to feel respected and appreciated. It seems exciting and fun. But again, doesn't your wife deserve that energy? I personally fell when I thought I was so special and cared for by this other married man. I was flattered when he told me I was hot, and a rare beauty... In reality, I was just an object of pleasure to him, and only being used by him to feel good...yeah, "easy on his eyes" too. But we will all grow old and age. What you have with your wife is more valuable than what any pretty girl ever has to offer you. Why are all those movies about REAL love so incredible? Because true love with one person is a rare and precious gift, not to be tossed around carelessly.
So play it out: you either end up throwing away what you've worked so hard to attain in your life, just for a feeling that you get for a little bit, or you get rid of the situation and lose an unecessary distraction, and keep what matters most. Either one feels horrible but the second one is quickly forgotten.
Women get it. This chick knows what's going on, and she'll get the message real quick if you even tell her one time that you can't jog with her. You don't even have to explain. She knows why. So wave goodbye. If a person really wants to show kindness to others, they'll stay away from situations like this. If you try, but you can't resist it alone, you'll have to consider telling your wife in order to get the monkey off your back. And that will help you to stop.
And so, that is my advice for you. It feels like it will hurt so terribly, and that you're missing out on something really awesome, but in reality you will feel free and light, and quite relieved. And you'll actually gain something that is more awesome. ...the softest pillow at night, is a good conscience.
I wish you the best.

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