Is this normal and would you stay in this relationshit?

jude

if a child were abused he might grow up not knowing that abuse is not a normal thing. he may think its the norm. but its not. no one deserves to be abused either physically or emotionally, and if u are, u do need to get out of it and not marry this person. my husband was abused as a child, and was emotionally abused by the two previous wives. if this girl has issues with u, there are many other ways to deal with problems besides abusing someone. i wouldn't marry her if i were u, u have a choice here, i would insist she get some anger management because it will just continue, and sooner or later its going to get really old and u will get sick of it.

MummaKins

What about when your married, she's int he kitchen making a sandwich, you say something that upsets her a bit, she turns around and stabs you with the knife she's holding? I can guarantee you'd feel that!!

Get out, this is just a snippet of what may be coming. There are plenty of battered husbands out there, we just don't hear about them so much!

It's NOT normal at all!

johnnysunshine11

Theres nothing normal about her behavior and you're settling for a woman with insecure and immature ways. If a random stranger tells you this after seeing a spectacle of this sort heed his advice. You may love her but she neither loves herself nor respects you.

Silenceâ„¢

I hope she doesn't kill you next.

Tracy â™« Heavy Metal Mama â™«

Your friend may have a point.
No one should smack anyone.
It reminds me of the show John & Kate Plus 8, she smacks him all the time and I just wanna reach thru my tv and smack her back. It's rude and disrespectful especially if done in public. I don't care if it's not meant to do harm or if it doesn't hurt. It's the act itself.
It does make one wonder how she'll really be after marriage.
I always say, why ruin a perfectly good relationship with a piece of paper and a ring anyway lol.

geo

have you ever heard of the term 'hen pecked'
that's a guy who allows a girl to control him. the little stuff she does now will lead to her de- Masculineing you in the future. take some sage advice and leave. she will not change for the better, but will get worse.
also, check what you called what you are in... a relation-****. that probably really says what is really going on. your subconscience is even telling you to get out.

Ashley G

Well if shes hitting u maybe she also dosent want to be with u in the right way, i mean yah every marriage is hard and ups and downs, but just like a girl in high school, its insecurity , she feels she has to control u, like u may have betrayed her trust or maybe shes scared cause she s also nervous about being married, talk to her open up just this once it may save u something that shouldnt be, or should be.

Katie

Normal? No.

Would I stay in the relationship with someone who stabbed, slapped, and threatened to shoot me (regardless of what I'd done)? HELL no.

This woman is unstable at best. I hope to God you don't have children with her...

Another thing, if this was a man doing this to a woman, his *** would be in jail.

Danielle

I'm going to give you some other advice because everyone else has baisically covered that you need to get out because of her violence towards you, which I agree. Marriage is about respect and love, neither of which she has for you.

But I noticed you said you were scared s**tless about getting married anyway. Even without her violent ways, this is a big red flag! I understand that most men get a little nervous about such a huge commitment, which is reasonable. However, my husband and I got married 2 weeks after we met. And he told me he had never been so sure of anything in his life. And quite frankly, neither was I. I had dated a guy for 4 years and waffled on whether we should ever get married. And here I find a guy and in 2 weeks we are saying "I do". Marriage shouldn't be something that scares you with anyone. If you are meant to spend the rest of your life with someone, you will have no doubt, and no fear at all that you are doing the right thing. Your wife should also be your best friend. (Sounds cheesy, but it's true!)

Good luck with everything hun!

superkittytzu

She is possessive, she had no right to disrespect you in public. If you get married to her, this will lead into domestic violence to a whole different level. I think this relationship is draining you emotionally. It's time to get out dude. Find a woman who would love you for you and treat you with the respect you deserve if you give it in return :)

Chopsmom

Oh my HEAVENS!!! Were you abused as a child?? Because that might explain your acceptance of this kind of abuse.
YES YES YES it will affect your marriage....do you want to get the snot kicked out of you on a regular basis?
What kind of an idiot would slap you..and publicly no less????!!!!!
I would tell her, in no uncertain terms, to keep her hands to herself...period,
That is the most degrading behavior I have heard of.....marry her and it won't stop there....your life will be a living hell and she will be a public embarrasment to you.
Good luck.

b2b 5-2-10

you call it a relationshit but you love her to death?

anyway...
you need to sit down and have an honest talk about how if she really wants to be with you she needs to set a date (doesn't have to be tomorrow - but set something on paper - start looking for locations etc.)
it is a big deal - it's abuse it'll affect the marriage and any family you have with her
she needs to get her anger under control
if i saw it yeah i'd tell you to get out - but since i have more time to say it and more info to base my advice on i'm going to tell you to get into counseling - if she won't you need to leave
no one deserves to be hit even if they're a total @ss or it doesn't really hurt - it's wrong of her to do this
and yeah if you were abused as a kid you could just think that's how things are supposed to be - it's not how things are supposed to be!
this is not right and you need to see a therapist on your own too in order to work out your own stuff 'cause you're not going to be able to be in a healthy relationshiP otherwise
how can you possibly think stabbing you is ok?
are you making this all up to get a rise out of people? if so you are an @ss

TELLING IT LIKE IT IS

I think you have insecurity issues that you need to take a long hard look at. You must think you deserve to be treated that way but you don't.

ah-ight

Ah, hahahahaha *gasp* hahhaahahaaa "relationshita", ah-hahahahahaha...whoooo.

Sorry, I'm in a shytty mood bout my husband and that was a really good laugh. I dunno if you did that on purpose or not but I'm over here teary-eyed from that one! Hehehe

Okay, to the question. You really do need to get out of this relationshit (done one purpose- lol). This is abuse. Just because she is a woman doing the abuse, doesn't mean it's not equally as bad. Abusers want control, and she lost hers when she "patiently" awaited the date. She threw a temper-tantrum and wailed on you. NObody has the right to touch you in any way you do not permit. Period.

Walk away from her and into some therapy. Good luck.

Sanju

love is blind but this is just too much slapping in restuarant, threatening to kill you need to run from her......let her go and find some one who is caring and loving wake up good luck

Lisa N

Yes. You are in denial, and should pay attention to your friends, strangers and your own llittle voice telling you this is wrong. Yes, it is that big a deal. Would you want your future children to see their mother hit and scratch and smack their father? Please do not marry her, and you should get out now. If she will smack you 5 times in public, what must happen in private. Have you ever told her seriously to "stop and never do that again"? You know what you need to do. Good luck.

Blair Waldorf

Poor Wyb, i know how that is 2 be on the fence about whether to stay or not. And it must be so hard cause i know you have kids. No one should be hitting u. I think u hit it dead on the nail when u said u think this is normal cause u have been abused. its not normal, hitting is not part of a normal relationship. U need to speak 2 her about it and tell her 2 stop or u will leave. Good luck.

iyamacog

This is not normal. I would not stay in this dysfunctional relationship.
No one should strike another for any reason. No one "deserves" it!
That's way beyond normal in my opinion. In your gut you know there's issues. Otherwise you wouldn't be "scared $hitless".......And you'd be able to set a date. In fact PLEASE DON'T set a date. Unless you wish to set a divorce date as well.
Look into the possibility of counseling to see if there's a chance of establishing a loving relationship, including strong communication, while eliminating the abuse. Yes, you are being abused. ;(

neely o hara

get out my husband try this and it went to worsr this is no joke it could end in death

Eagle

is it an smack like when a father merely touches the son faces to tell them they are doing very good and you are proud of them? or is it an smack that hurts which comes out like from a mistake or something wrong you did or say? ny ways... To answer your question. no I would no tell my friend to get out because she smack her, specially if it is like playing. sometime physical contact is a cultural thing, so depends where she is from. In my country we smack a lot and hard and is normal.... so you have to see deeper. Nevertheless I think you should be able to tell her that it bothers you and you don't know the reason why she is doing it...and ask her to stop it. and see her reaction. That would be a good way to measure her response behavior before you get any deeper.

â™¥B@BY~GURLâ™¥

DONT GET MARRIED GET OUT THE REASON SHE IS PRESSURING YOU TO GET MARRIED IS SHE IS ABUSIVE AND SHES SCARED YOU'LL FIGURE HER OUT AND LEAVE SO BEFORE THAT CAN HAPPEN SHE WANTS YOU TO MARRY HER

rapmelodies

ok let me tell you about me my gf found out about me talking to girls online it hurt her really bad then we kinda worked through it got married she does the same damn thing hit me all the time like slapping in the car at a restaurant everywhere i think she does this because she loves me but has not forgiven me for my sins i think you are in the same boat i am in a huge relationshit and i am married honestly get help to work through you cheating im sure she is still hurt about it and most likely wonders if you are doing it now. dont get married till everything is worked out if she loves you then she will go with you to get counseling and if you get everything squared away then marry her if you want to talk more about our similarities in our relationships email me back

Jenny~â™¥

I have never smacked, hit or even pinched my husband out of anger. Raised my voice... maybe, but nothing ever physical. So I would have to say it's not normal AND it's not okay.

Best wishes...

:0)
.

proudmommy2

She shouldn't be doing these things to you because its disrespectful and not normal...and it will probably get worse. Instead of throwing away your whole relationship why don't you go to "pre-marital counseling" and bring it up while you're there...maybe she will realize what shes doing and get help for it.
-Personal Experience-
My husband use to get angry at me and throw things..after a few months of that he started throwing things at me...after awhile he started shoving me...and eventually started hitting me. It could get worse if you don't resolve it now!!

Goodluck!

bizzurke

does she do it in front of the kids? if she does then you certainly need to get out.....you dont want them thinking thats right and normal behavior.

i think you should dump her like this instant or anything. sounds gay but maybe give counseling a try. if you love her as much as you say then you should try something at least, if it doesnt work....then yeah...dump her.

OFF TOPIC- ryan might be coming over tomorrow, im dumb. ugh. **** my life.

catangel0420

You need get out of the relationship now, if you married her it will just get worst and possibly empty up dead, well i went throw the same-thing and i did almost empty up dead.

davya85

First, if you are having to spell it "relationshit" you are not happy in some aspect.

It's all up to you. Go with your heart. Take everything your friends tell you with a grain of salt. You could very well love this girl and she may be awesome, but look at the relationship as a whole and see if you are both happy and your marriage will be a happy and long-lasting one. If not, come live here and eat White Castle all day :P

dane cook

unknown

well, i did this to my boyfriend of 18 months, we broke up yesterday...he wont talk to me, or answer my phone calls...
you tell me....

dont leave her, she'll probably shoot you.

but talk to her about it, does she know you don't like it?

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