Is this situation weird, rude, or both?

sierraskyesmom

If they were offering tickets to the groom they should have offered tickets to the bride as well.

DeltaForce

Let me understand....his parents bought him tickets home, but did not include tickets for his wife?

Completely unacceptable.

They either go as a couple, or they don't go at all. If they can't afford it, then they don't go. If the family wants to see their son, they are going to have to pay for a ticket for his wife too.

â™¥ 2 Miscarriages â™¥

Absolutely rude. And he's an idiot if he accepts. I'd hate to be around when THAT hits the fan! Any family should know that the wife comes with the package. You can't invite someone abroad and not expect the spouse to come along.

Rein

Cast aside and very sad not to be included in his family's plans. If the parents can't afford two tickets, then I would try to understand. I still would be sad.

Keith Python

Your assumption is wrong. Your husband is extremely rude and disrespectful to you and should refuse the tickets unless the invitation is for both of you.

Larousse*

This may have something to do with married culture in the groom's family. Although the family may love for the bride to join their son in visiting them, perhaps they were strapped for cash as well and assumed that the wife would understand. Especially for a new couple, perhaps they figured that the daughter-in-law would not object to one last bit of "alone time" before becoming used to an outsider.

However, if they persist doing this to the wife, she should begin to question their motives. Furthermore, the husband should rightly feel like something is not right, especially if he knows his wife is feeling "neglected" and "useless."

The bottom line: let him go, since "not much choice" is being offered anyway. The holiday may not be that long. Call him up often. Talk to him through the computer. Write him a letter. Most of all, because it seems he must go, the wife should busy herself doing something else. Enjoy a night out with her girlfriends, perhaps, or enjoy doing something she loves that her husband doesn't. Don't become the victim here, Wife: you have your own life, too!

Dale

yes it is very rude. the in-laws DEFINITELY should have checked with her before hand. crappy situation. the husband should see how it would make her feel and promise to call everyday.

littleone

Years ago, I would have said this is rude but in the last few years, I have moved to a different area and have met several families that no matter who is attached, it is only the blood relatives that are included. These are not ignorant or rude people, but that is just how they are. I was bothered by it at first but in time I realized they didn't mean it to be personally offensive. Sometimes there's things that just don't make sense.

deejaydevoted

I have seen this sort of thing happen, when the parents sent a ticket for their daughter.

It looks okay when it is parents wanting to see their daughter.

The husband stays home and holds down the fort.

Maybe this needs to be thought out and put into perspective.

If neither the husband or wife can afford it, maybe the parents can only afford one ticket.

If the husband really loves his parents and they are so far away, just maybe this might be the last chance he will ever see his parents again.

This is a complicated situation going on here.

Work it out so feelings won't be a lasting problem.

If he does go make sure he takes a camera and a move camera so he can share his trip with you.

Life is too short and this trip won't last forever.

Lets face it. The spouse has and always will be secondary.

I have four married children with kids.

I love their wives and husband but most of all I love my own kids more.

I have invested my whole life to my family.

I don't think there is an answer that will satisfy everyone involved here.

Good Luck.

mamabear

His family shouldn't have only bought him a ticket. That was wrong. She has every right to be upset.

gorgeous

I think that in a way it was rude for the in-laws to invite and pay for their son to come, but not the wife/bride to be (I was confused on if they are actually married or not) And it was inconsiderate not to let her know in advance.

James

Thats bull. He should tell them he cant afford to go because he is not leaving his soon to be bride behind. Thanks anyway but return the tickets. I hate stuff like that. That is so rude!!

weird wheres the groom from

Dr. Kat

I would be upset to not be able to spend the Holidays with my husband and I would feel upset that the family only sprung for one ticket. Mostly, I would be upset if my husband wasn't showing signs that he was upset about it too.
Hard as it is, if your hubby does want you there but can't get you there, this is a time to be a very strong independant wife and vow to miss him greatly but try to make it a positive situation by getting to spend the holidays with your family while he is with his. Promise that you'll have your own celebration when he returns and just try to make it special.

Girliegirl

The groom should want his bride to go too. If they can't go toether, then he shouldn't go until they can.

Ollie

If my partner did that to me he would be in big trouble.Has for his parents they could get lost.It is extremely rude & I would say they do not like her.

tyna78

Must be a cultural where the women are seen as inferior.

hunneybunney

I think its a bit tactless for the in laws not to include a ticket fr the wife too.. i mean they are a couple now and should be invited together.. Is there is history between the bride and the in laws.. do they not get on!?

gillm

I'm not sure if i understand this but it sounds like the groom was offered a ticket but the wife wasn't - if this is the case then the groom shouldn't go - they are a couple now - if she can't go then he shouldn't even be thinking about it.
many years ago i was married to a guy from India - he used to go off the Delhi without giving me a second thought because his very wealthy parents wouldn't buy me a ticket as well and we couldn't afford it which might explain why he is now my ex husband.

BabyCakes

This is a sticky situation
If the soon-to-be-inlaws knew bout there soon-to-be-marrgage then yes of course. Because they should bond with there soon-to-be-daughter-in-law and get to know eachother

I carried a Water melon!!

Wow that's clearly not right! I would feel really left out and forgotten! I would go mental at my husband and expect him to fork out money for another ticket, or explain to the in laws that he cant except the ticket, being the fact that its only for one person. I would not put up with that!!!

Sarah S

that's certainly rude, i mean how can her in-laws leave her like this?? and i think the husband should have thought about all this. he should have given importance to his wife as then only his parents will understand her worth in his life.

Amirra

Personally, I think family is extremely important. Esspecially if he only gets to see them a few times a year. If I were to flip it around, and he were to stay with you instead of him going to visit his family, wouldn't you be the rude one for making him stay when he spends every day with you? That's just my opinion, your situation might be different than I perceive, but if my husbands family all got together to try and fly him out of the country to visit...I'd be behind him 100% - no matter what plans were ruined. Perhaps they couldn't afford to fly you both out at that time.
It's a very tough situation you're in, but keep in mind how you would feel if he said you couldn't go visit your family. ;)

MiZz SaAk

i think that is very rude...he shouldnt go if his wife cant go with him...thats just not right...unless she doesnt want to go!!!

wallace hartzell

First, when you marry, you marry into your partners family! Second, A wife should be happy for her husband, especially if he can only see his parents once a year. Imagine if the tables were turned. If this is a free trip over seas what is she worrying about. I have no money and I would be blessed if I had a friend or family to pay my way for a trip. If the man doesent go then send me the tickets.

jacqueline e

Does not seem right, if i was the daughter in law i would be feeling pretty bad, left out, unloved etc. i don't think a loving husband should go alone, but that is just my opinion

rude...

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