Is this wrong of me?

Catmmo

I'm totally with you on this one. My spouse also works in a restaurant and asks me to come up to 'visit'. It's difficult to visit someone who is working, and I don't really like sitting there by myself. Going through all the introductions is a pain because I don't really care, and it's hard to remember when you get a bunch of names all at once.

I would explain your feelings, and tell him if he wants you to enjoy the restaurant, he's welcome to bring home carry out for you. :)

wsterling30

You are so wrong its not even funny. You really need to go and eat there just to atleast let him know you support him an his career. If you truly love him you should want to be near him as much as he wants or you may lose him to another more out going woman who just may be working with him. That would be another reason to go and visit him at work to i gues for lack of a better idea scare off all of the hens that make be roosting near by your husband. All I can say is a little bit of attention will go a long way and if love him a visit once a week will keep him happy and happy is a good thing.

leapinfroggy2000

Tell him the reason then. If he loves you he will respect your wishes in the matter. Nuff said.

Kristin

I am also 28 years old and my husband is 36... anyway... Honey, just get used to it. It sounds like your mom is right. He's just proud of you. I really wasn't interested in meeting my husband's friends and co-workers at first, but I gave them a chance and most of them turned out to be really nice. As a matter of fact, one of my husbands co-workers has the sweetest wife, and now I consider her to be a very dear friend. Take advantage of your husband wanting to spend time with you. If you don't then one day he will get the hint and he will not ask you to do things with him, and you will end up wishing that you had taken him up on his kind offer.

cin_ann_43

Shy or not you should make the effort to go once in awhile to your hubbys place of work,It won't kill you to go and it will make him so happy and pleased that you do!

Apple21

He obviously loves you and is very proud that you are his wife. He want's you to 1)see his world, 2)share some of what he enjoys with you, 3)show you how good he is at his job and 4)probably show you off a little. The best thing (and often most difficult) to do in any relationship, especially marriage, is to be honest. Share your fears with him. If you're married, he probably already knows you are shy. Tell him that, but also compromise. See if it's okay to not attend every function, but maybe one or two. Go to the restaurant on a slow nite/afternoon and meet a few people instead of everyone. Only stay for 15 minutes at a time. Take your mom with you; she may add to your comfort. I know it's hard, but you both have to compromise a bit and understand where the other person is coming from.

kerry r

yes this is very wrong of you. You should be supporting your husband by not going he thinks you are not bothered about his work or success and as time goes on this can only lead to trouble within the marriage. So make yourself go and let him proudly introduce you to his friends and colleagues

geni

Honestly, Mother knows best. I think he is proud to say you are his wife. Congrats to you! Have you told your hubby why you don't go? He may think that you are not as proud of him. If I were you I would be sure to tell him why I keep turning down his invites. The main key here is to make sure you are not hurting his feelings. You wouldn't want him to misunderstand you intentions. Explain to him how these types of social settings make you feel. If he still insists on you coming in sometime then I think I would try to go just once.

randy h

your his wife those things are expected of you go and have some fun .

Office Christmas Parties and New Years Eve parties can be a bit wild so I'm a bit surprised that he would invite your mother also. I understand how you feel about it though because my wife is a bit shy also but after a few drinks you'd likely loosen up and have a good time, I'd recommend going. Perhaps a drink or two before going would put you more at ease with the situation.

heathermama_tx

You really should go. As his wife you should at least stand by his side at company events such as Christmas and New Year's parties. You need to put away the shyness and be supportive of your husband. It's honestly selfish to disappoint him or make him feel that you don't want to visit his work, all because you are shy. And with your mother by your side, you should be more comfortable and could go. And who says you wil have to go through numerous introductions while you are there? Let your husband know that this is what makes you uncomfortable, the attention from co-workers part, and tell him you'd be happy to make HIM happy by going, as long as he made sure it was low-key and not a big to-do. But this is your man, your husband. He's not asking much of you, plus, it'll be free dinner, right? lol Don't let somehting like this, somehting so trivial, cause any issues in your relationship. He obviously loves you and just wants to spend a little more time with you. :-) Good luck.

byrdphan

He is extending a kindness. How do you like it when you try to extend a kindness to someone and they refuse?

Yes, you should go to the restaurant and eat. He obviously wants and needs you there or he wouldn't keep asking you to go. I think it's a support thing. Husbands and wives support each other not only through words, but through their actions. Your actions, which speak a lot louder than words, show that you don't care.

You've made this all about YOU, when it's not. Get over the selfishness. Make it all about him. Get over your shyness. It's not like he's asking you to be there everyday 24/7. He's proud of what he does and probably proud of you. Let him share that pride with you. Don't deny him that opportunity.

Show your husband some support and get your butt to that restaurant.

AlphaOne_

Talk to him about it.

Also, he is also proud of his work and wants to show his work to you - have you thought of that? You can ask him not to introduce you to more than three people at a time, or one person, or something like that, so that he gets his pleasure, and you don't get intruded upon so much.

About the parties... if he invites you, I think you ought to go. Those are organized for socializing, and as he is the manager, he should be able to set the example. sorry, that's the way it works, more money, more responsibilities.

Pickles

I would agree with you if it were only when he was working, but a christmas party is something that you probably should go to. It'll help you become more open with people and make him happy.

Lil mama

if you really love him you'll go, do this regularly and your shyness will go

countpetez

Sounds like my wife,she doesn't get involved in my career. At first it bothered me, as I am proud of her and want her to be part of it. Now I have come to realize, that that's just her and I accept it..Tell him it's nothing personal, that you are proud of his accomplishments, you just don't feel comfortable getting involved deeply in his work..

Dr. Mom

Being married means compromising. You have to do things you dont really want to do some times. It sounds like he loves you and is proud to have you as his wife. Glow in the limelight and be proud to have someone that loves you so much.

cass

You should go. Be supportive of him and his work. He obviously wants to share this part of his life with you so you should be involved.

pro_steering_wheel_holder

It's not like he's going to show you off as a trophy or something. If you are invited to a Christmas party or something you should go. It will also help with your shyness if you just talk to someone. Even if it is one of his co-workers wives. Find someone that isn't talking to anyone either. They may be shy as well. Then you have something in common.

Nicolas M

if i were ur husband.. i wouldnt care if u interrupted me while i was working.. remember.. in a realtionship.. Family before Work!! Always!! if you dont have this... then ur life will be pretty bad...soo maybe surprise him one day and show up looking for him! I'd be pleased if i were him! ;-D

Girl

As his wife, you should most definitely go for things like Christmas parties and New Year's Eve parties. I understand you not wanting to go just to go, but for special occasions, yes, you should be there for him. It's nice of you to give him his space, but it seems to me that he wants you around and girl, that is a wonderful thing. I understand that you are shy, but marriage is also about compromise. So....you compromise for him sometimes and go on special occasions (like Christmas) and maybe for dinner once a month and he can compromise with you, by not expecting you to come all the time. Hope this helped a little. Good luck sweetie.

anni_shaa Yeap Yip

your mom is right

bretto24

If you go often enough, everyone will know you , the formalities will be over as well as the uncomfortability, and then you can get free food!

Lana A

Go because you love him

Deana

Has it occured to you, that he might stop asking? When that happens, you will really have a problem, in more ways than one.
Do what you have to do in order to get yourself together, mentally and go. He wants you to observe him at work so that he can impress you with how he handles his job and to show you off to his co-workers. Why spoil it for him?
Maybe you should seek professional help with your problem of shyness. Obviously, it is interferring with your quality of life, socially.

boo

sorry but you should go.

Goodspeed

Restaurant workers can be some what of a family...and if you want to exclude yourself from this can leave your husband available for other women to feel he is closer to them then he is to you because you are never around...Your his wife and everyone should understand that your proud to be that...not to mention...dang...I'd be eating their every other night if my partner was the dining room manager of a restaurant.

uniroyalfan

Try to comprimise a bit, go to the social functions, Christmas party, summer cook out ( if they have one) that type of thing . Make one appearance at work ( tell him up front you and your mom will go once ) then just go to the social functions. That should make everyone happy as possible.

lynn

I think you should go & meet his co-workers.
Your husbands work is a HUGE part of his life & you should be more supportive.

You should at the very least attend the Xmas Party & other social events. You will not be in the "limelight" for long, once you get it over with. Bring your Mom if that makes you more comfortable.

You don't want your hubby always being alone at these gathering, women take notice of these things, if you know what I mean!

steelangel

buck up and go. when he sees you not haveing a good time maybe he wont bother you to go anymore. Or maybe you will meet another wife to hang out with. Just go and say you did it for him!

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