Is what my wife doing innappropriate?

MCSHughes

Yes, she's doing the wrong things.

She should be praying with you. She shouldn't be sharing this with a man who's not her therapist or spiritual leader. My guess is that you could be a part of her depression, so she doesn't want to share that with you. A therapist could help in that.

I also don't know why a married woman or man would be texting anyone that's not work related. That's absolutely inappropriate in my never so humble opinion.

Suggest that she might continue inappropriate behavior, and blame it on her depression, but this won't be the truth. She's still liable for her behavior, depression or not.

Best Wishes

coochie coochie coo

not sure the praying in itself is inappropriate. however, the lying is. you need to get in to see your pastor or religious leader to speak with her about her depression and how you're feeling about her lying, praying with another man (which actually is pretty intimate if not handled properly) and get on the road to recovery -- for her and you both.

good luck.

bada bing bada boom

You mentioned that your wife is suffering from depression and has trouble talking to you. To me it looks like, you also have trouble talking to her. No wonder she couldn't pray with you or talk to you. You sure sound like very controlling. When she replied to you that the text was from the phone carrier, you didn't believe her and kept interrogating until she told you 'it was from the man at work'. It showed that you guys don't trust each other and have no frankness.

Did it occur to you ever that she could be afraid of you that's why she lied to you in the beginning? Or maybe she gave you the answer knowing that will satisfy your curiosity??

You guys should seek counseling.

LauraA

I've always believed that if you feel like you have to lie to your spouse/sig other about what you're doing, then you probably shouldn't be doing. That said, praying in itself is probably a harmless act, but your wife is turning it into something more by continuing contact with this guy outside of "prayer time", and lying to you about it. If she genuinely thought that her actions were completely innocent, then she wouldn't feel like she had to lie to you about.

Bottom line, this situation might actually be innocent and harmless for now, but the secrecy and lies raise red flags of it heading towards something more sinister.

rowdy rick

Good Luck

Alex

Man lying is toatally unapropriate. Tell her that when you pray you do not seek help from other men you just seek help from the Lord. If she wants someone pray woth tell her she can pray alongside her husband.

fullofjoy08

This behavior is very inappropriate for a married women. If she needs to seek spiritual guidance you needs to go to church. No a co worker come on now.

stubby

how deplorable, !

Starsfan14

Nothing wrong with her praying with another man. Nothing wrong at all.

Although lies are a problem. But the question is why is she lying? Is she lying because she has some sort of inappropriate relationship brewing with this man?

Or is she lying because there is nothing inappropriate going on, but she feels uncomfortable talking to you about her depression? And there could be two reason for this- one reason has nothing to do with you- perhaps she just feels guilty about being depressed. Guilty for perhaps no real reason. But guilty enough to not wish to share it with you. Perhaps she feels that you are under enough stress with your life as it is. Or she feels that she is a burden on you. Depression is a tough thing because sometimes it makes believe things that just aren't true (like that she can't go to you etc)

Or maybe she is lying to you because she has tried to talk to you about her depression and you ignore her. I don't know but it is a possibility.

Regardless- I think you need to consider getting some outside help from a therapist. Because it sounds like she is going through a tough time.

<3

the praying part is okay but she lied about it which makes me think and should make you think there is something more to this story.

Jess

i think its inappropriate..she should be able to turn to you with her depression, you her husband and she should see you apart as her support system. about the praying..i dont know if that would bother me..im not very religious...but i can see why its annoying. maybe you should tel her to get some counselling by herself, and maybe marrige counselling for both of you. i wouls also contact this man and asking him if anything else is going on. good luck

MOM OF ONE

The lieing is wrong. Why is she lieing about texting a co worker about praying? HMMMM....There is more to this than meets the eye. I would continue to ask questions til I got the right answers. She does not need to text anyone that is a male besides you first of all. YOU should be her main best friend to bounce things off of persay.......(not literally...lol).......she is just confused or having an affair under your nose dude. Wisen up some and ask questions and fast.

Elated

There is nothing wrong with her praying with another man. There is definitely something wrong with her lying to you about it and continuing the behavior when you have expressed your discomfort.

hiqtgal

2 people can most definitely gain more than just a platonic bond when going through together or swapping misery stories. The sayin misery loves company is definitely true. You see this same idea in military boys who fight together. They share a hardship an it brings them together. The same was said about the recent fight against allowing men and women to serve on the naval ship together. That the hardship of it all being shared between that man and woman may cause an unintentional bond. I think the same is true in your case, your wife and that man are sharing something. The fact that she feels that she needs to lie to you about it tells me that she in her mind feels that she is doing something wrong. Prayer during times of strife is a very emotional activity. I think its very possible for feelings to surface with the situation being what it is. I think if your wife absolutely feels it imperative that she pray with this man, that she does so on the phone in the presence of you. That way jealousy doesn't strain the marriage because you know what is said and she still gets the prayer she feels she needs. But if that's the case I would suggest that she pray first with you. You know the saying "those that pray together stay together." I don't think you want another man doing for your wife what you aren't, spiritually or not. Adding the fact that she's mentally impaired at the moment I definitely think his presence is not a good one. But whatever decision you and your wife decide to make I wish u the best. Best wishes and regards Missbriteyes )

Nick

I wouldn't be worried about the praying so much, but the possible emotional connection building there. If she simply viewed him as a coworker why lie to you about it? That would be a big red flag.

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