It's appropriate for young people to live together before they get married?

~*â˜…â˜†Angelaâ˜†â˜…*~

My grandfather is a very old school dude and he told me its a sin but I d0n't give a crap. I'm 19 and my fiance is 28 but yeah Im not sure.

Anu

To me, it's not appropriate.

gramma

As a Christian, I disagree. The Bible - God's Word - says we need to be married first.

the stats show that it doesn't work. 80 some % do not work out and end up leaving each other.

Austin O

its dangerous cuz its like marriage but there is no commitment, no requirement to work future problems out. and i've heard that there is a higher divorce rate/break up rate among people that do this. Why not marry the person?

teenie

We had made all the arrangements for our wedding and we bought a house 6 months before we got married and we lived in it. So you can say we lived together before we were married.

*TiFfAnY*<3

i think they should live together for at least 6 months before they get married because its not until people live together that they really know that person ..its better to live together first and then if u still wanna get married after living with that person for at least 6 months then you know you really love them

Just wonderin'

It is not only in-appropriate, it is a statistical FACT that when couples live together without the responsibility of a marriage commitment prior to getting married, they are more likely to have a failed marriage

slappingdummyman

I agree but it doesn't always work. I'll explain I was dating this girl for 5 years she was living with me we got married it lasted 6 months. So I don't think it's always a good idea. Just get married and start fresh.

Christopher R

Better than getting married and finding out it isn't right. you gotta test the waters first. I approve as long as both parties are mature enough to handle everything.

pepper

I do agree.

I wish I'd lived with my (ex) husband before we got married. I may never have married him if we had - and that would have been one divorce prevented!

kitiyapron

Through much of its history marriage has been arranged between families more for material reasons than love . Now people choose their partner themselves and marry for love . This kind of marriage is much closer and more intimate than were arranged marriages . Living together isn't the same as being married , in that each , party can please themselves , come and go at will . When you have lived together with a person , you have a good idea as to whether you can get along with them on a day to day basis .
You know where you stand , when you make a commitment to marry and to a certain extent compromise your lives to please your husband or wife .

not a user

I am going to tell you I absolutely agree and the time frame that I give you or whoever you are talking about is six moths. I agree because I moved in with my boyfriend and we lived together for six months and you really learn alot about each other. I snore and I am a clean person I like things neat I like things a particular way and he is the absolute opposite and that is why we are not togethr right now because I learned his habits and they are really annoying so yea move in and learn his or her habits and then think "would I marry this for the rest of my life?"

some female

Statistically speaking, it used to be that couples who lived together first had a higher divorce rate, but if we look at current statistics from the last 10 to 20 years, we'll find that the divorce rate for couples who have lived together and those who have not is equal. Meaning that the chances of divorce do not increase nor decrease if a couple lives together before marriage.

Now, if we want to look at another issue. That is that often couples who live together get married to 'fix' problems. They think that marriage has some magical way of fixing problems and get married in order to make things better for themselves. This may lead to eventual divorce.

Other issues that occur happen when a couple decides to get married in order to have legitimate children. This couple who was fine before children, find that the stress of children decrease the quality of their relationship. This occurs with many couples who were married before living together too. The fact of the matter is that children, to no fault of their own, can destroy relationships.

Other times couples who live together think that marriage will somehow change their roles. Sometimes couples who live together do not pool their money and start to do so after marriage finding themselves in arguments over finances. Other times a man may think that his live-in girlfriend will start to do the majority of housework after aquiring the title wife. This will add to stress. Studies have shown that men in common law relationships do tend to do more housework than their married counterparts.

It is important for couples who live together first to talk about expectations of marriage and how they think their relationship will change or how they think it will stay the same. Personally, my partner and I live together and we believe that nothing will change. In all practical ways we are married. Psychologically and emotionally we are committed and nothing about our style of living is going to change anymore because we threw a party.

ArMy BrAt On ThE wAy!

I think it is. My husband and I, at the time just boyfriend & girlfriend, did right out of high school. We were together for 3 years then in 05 when I graud. we moved into an apartment together. If you are positive you wont break a lease or anything I would say go for it. It was the best time in my life to live with someone I loved! You really get to know someone better that way and find out if you want that person in your life forever.

KungFu Ninja

Who cares what people think? Do what makes you happy.

Michelle T

I totally agree! That's how you know whether you belong together or not.

baby g21

It is definitely better to live with someone before you get married that way you know what your getting your self in to gives you a chance to get use to the annoying habit s they have and learn to love them no matter what.

mummylove

Of course its okay you wouldn't buy a car without taking i for a test drive would you?

luvbug

yes i agree.
because then you will no before what it's really like to live with them. so then you should be able to deside if you really wanna get married to them.

chris b

i hope most people agree because everyone changes when you start to life with someone and its just not you around

flaca23

yes sometimes it is that is if you get along with your partner really well,but if you don't then i would wait.i lived with my daughters father when i was 15 so yes it's ok

xXxVxXxBoReDxXx

Of course. If you haven't lived together you might learn to hate each other!

blixa22

Appropriate to what?

There are pluses and minuses. I think living with housemates is plenty of "practice" at sharing space, and even unforeseen power struggles after moving in are far easier to cope with when married than before. The motivation is higher, the priorities are different; there isn't a fear of losing what's "mine" anymore once you're married. More often than not I think living together is a great way to destroy a relationship.

But that is based on my own experience -- living with 2 different fiances throughout my 20s. I know there are people who live together very well for a long time and end up marrying, who swear by the practice. I guess it depends on the turf & control issues each partner brings to the scene.

Stars and Sparkles

I have lived with my boyfriend for 5 years we can't afford to get married we are happy how we are.

...dreamer...

if youre over 18 do what you want. i think living with someone is a good experience and i personally approve. just make sure that if things dont work out that you have somewhere else to go. its fun to live with lovers or friends, because theyre there because they want to be with you.

nean

I am one of the dreaded "Baby Boomers" and I have mixed feelings. Sometimes a relationship lasts longer than most marriages do. (Goldie and Kurk, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins). Why I do not know, but find it a little sad when couples who have cohabitated for years decide to tie the knot and that knot unravels after a few years. LIving together gives you the chance to know that person and there is no pretense between you. So, I'm divided. Some couples last longer unmarried, yet many others find the stability of the piece of paper necessary.

Don't you just hate it when you have given a honest, heartfelt answer and some creep comes along and gives thumbs down to everyone. Doen't take a lot to do that, but it takes more to read and digest every word. Makes me very angry!

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