Its 10 minutes to midnight and my parents are up fighting and it gets me so stressed out!?

diane b

You've gotten so many answers you will maybe miss this one. Any way: Yes. Been there! My parents loved each other, but it appeared that the only way they showed it was by argueing! They weren't happy unless they argued. That is their thing, do your own. If they feel like expressing their "love" for each other, be glad that you can get away and go do something else! No one ever has the perfect home life/childhood, you're able to drive and just let'em have at it. If you think it's dangerous for either one then leave...but be sure to call police abt. danger. If you do that they'll probably both be really mad at you & maybe disown you// at best It will It grab their attention!!! They may go through a time when "you" do not exist. Sounds like they've already done that; however it might make them slow down enough to realize there's a broken heart of their own creation that needs loving, not yelling. I would'nt hold my breath. They are so involved in each other It would appear that you are not there: funny thing , if you complain their next arguement is going to be about you. Do yourself the biggest favor you can, find out the best things about yourself, LITERALLY write down the things you/others like about you! When you feel bad read the list of good things about you and don't feel like you're exagerating/ you care abt parent's you're a nice person . Keep true to the values you hold dear you'll come out on top! I think you're a very caring sensitive person. GOOD LUCK

ksfinney17

It sounds like you're in college so it's time to start making some moves. Find other outlets to make them notice that your uncomfortable. Next break, don't come home go with another friend or stay at school to work. If you walk in the house and they're arguing go right back outside and slam the door. Even if you just sit on the front porch, you wouldn't be inside. Give them the silent treatment, they ask you a question respond with as few words as possible. Eventually this will drive them crazy and when they ask you what's going on just let them know when you're there it's uneasy for you due to all the disagreements in the air, that way that can't tap out with the same lame responses that they've been giving you. To be seen and not heard is more effective than people know. Next holiday is Labor day, start making plans.

pimpinsmama

tape record the yelling and screaming play it back to them they might just get the hint sorry Hun us adults arnt always the mature ones bring it too their attention tell them there wont be money for college because it all get used to pay for a therapy session after everyone go their fights!!!!!!

Karla T

I wish my daughter never feels they way you do. But you might try to give your parents a break, besides being your parents they are also a woman and a man trying to have a relationship. Try to learn from their mistakes, but donâ€™t judge them too harshly if they are good to you. When they are not fighting, let them know how you feel, keep the conversation calm and mature, and also let them know that the situation upsets you and so you will start keeping some distanceâ€¦Keep loving them, but also love your self and keep your sanity.

physandchemteach

I feel so sorry for you! I grew up in a home just like that. My parents had no idea that their fighting was making me a basket case. I remember writing in my journal about it. It hurts you to the core, and you are powerless to do anything about it.

I was too scared to talk to my parents about it. I had grown up with that behavior and learned to hide when they were fighting like that. My older sister dealt with it by running away from home.

I suggest you write down your feelings as this is going on. When it is calmer tomorrow, ask them to both sit down and listen as you review the feelings with them. They have done this for so long they are not even aware how bad it is.

nvvlewis

let them know one more time that it really bothers you and if it doesnt work or they give you excuses give them an altimatume tell them you will not come home any longer and when u do you will be staying with your boyfriend instead of at home you are a grown adult going to school now you dont need that stress in your life you have better things to do with your time than listen to two adults act like children and good luck on those classes

joeblog

Just tell them plainly that you prefer to live in a home of harmony and tolerance and peace. You can't call a battlefield home!

Next time, secretly tape their squabbles and video their fights.

When they have cooled down, just play back to them. Or better still transfer them to tape and DVDs, put them in envelopes and mail to them. In them enclose your thoughts and feelings. But be sure not to criticise their actions. Just expresss how their fights affect you.

This could wake them up.

Hilllbilly_gal

Sorry hun, i know that must be hard for you. Really the only thing you can tell them is that if they dont stop fighting that you are going to leave. They should be mature enough to know not to do this when you are around so maybe u telling them that u will leave would be a wake up call! Tell them that u love them both and it really hurts you when they behave this way and that u have nothing left to do except to leave if things dont change. Good luck dear!

bigred

You should tell them that you came home to visit with them because you love & miss being with them! You didn't come home so that you would have to listen to their arguing & fighting! If they can't appreciate & respect you, after not seeing you for a long while then you should just leave!

little_angel63384

wow hun it seems like you have a lot to deal with...try staying with a friend and when they say why tell them because it hurts you too much to see them fighting all of the time

Tamarra

Been there and done a similar thing with my parents except I still live at home. One piece of advice don't do what I did .. If at all possible stay out of their arguements and most definetly do not choose sides .. if you do if will make your life hell. I did the same thing and ran in the direction of my boyfriend but it doesn't solve the issue at hand because at the end of the day your parents are still argueing. Could always go the angle I went and tell them they might as well get a divorce .. but that as well is not a good idea. All I can say is try and tolerate it because no one can live without their family and if its that bad tell them to go to marriage councelling or simply sit down and talk to them or write them a letter expressing your feelings.

just answering u

just be open and honest with your parents and maybe you can work out an agreement and if ya"ll can agree on a few things then you can maybe feel better and maybe you should spend some time with them more.maybe they want your warmth and love,maybe the four of you could do a few things together.talk,walk,love,have fun,enjoy one anothers company,your all one family,act like it.tell them u love them and it hurts to see them fight.

$&$&

How about writing them a letter? Stress out the fact that's it's affecting you so badly...Perhaps you can ask them to get family therapy and if they won't do it...Ask them if you can go...Atleast you'll know how to deal with your parents this way...

I know it's not easy sweety, but be strong...This will only make you a better woman...Just make sure you take the right path in life...

Good Luck!!

C M

Basically you need to tell them what you just wrote in here. The reality check may make them look at their behavior.

Gregory H

Everything is going to be alright. I have been there and my parents are divorced. So I know what you are going through. Just sit down with your mother and father and tell them how you fill, they should already be getting the idea that this is affecting you. Just tell them how you fell. They will listen to you.

LaToya L

You are grown now and you should be able to tell your parents what it is that is bothering you, if you can't then write them a letter to let them know how the arguing affects you, even though you are all grown up now. If they can't respect that and continue to argue then next year make different living arrangements. Let them know that your boyfriend has already opened the doors for you and if they don't like that idea hopefully they'll make a conscious effort to change.

misydoll

Tape there fights and play it back to them. That will wake them up. Stay a night at your boyfriends home and see if you get a reaction.

shy_gal2

I know that it's affecting you and there's no doubt in that, but you also have to come into reality. If you're parents have always fought and it hasn't changed since then it's not going to change. I know it's not fair. If you're not living with you're parents and you come to visit, they are proud to see you. Trust me that I know. I'm 23 years old. I'm married. Ever since I know my parents have always fought. Every time we get a weekend to visit there are still times that I hear them fighting. And how embarrasing is that for my husband to hear. So don't let your boyfriend be an escuse for staying with him. Turn on the radio or do something to get your mind off for a while. Maybe the next day you can talk to both of your parents, but seperately so you know they are listening. It worked out for my friends parents, maybe you'll luck with yours.

CoolUserName7

Just go in the room and tell them to "Shut the h*** up, that they are giving you a headache with this arguing". Remind them that they are adults and they should be able to disagree without screaming and yelling like two year olds and if they are having trouble communicating maybe they should go get some help with that, but "Shut the h*** up!" Make sure YOU are yelling this when you say it, because they are going actually wonder why it is you are yelling and they are going to look at you like you lost your mind, and when the shock wears off they will actually think about what you said. Oh, make sure you leave right after you say it.

dont go home anymore, find a friends house, take a summer job as a live in nanny, sav e & go on vacation. stop going home. you are a adult now. grow up & move on

xxkeeper_420xx

Tell them straight out how it affects you so you don't have to stay up this late at night and have to be tired for the next day you need to let them know whats going on with you and how this affects your life

Van

Ok, you need to sit both of your parents down, and just tell them everything that is bothing you, and why you feel un welcomed in their home. And let them know that they need to grow up and quit fighting, and tell them if they don't get a handle on it, that you would just prefer not to be home.

My parents, like yours, fight all the time. It gets on my nerves soo bad. But my cousin, and my brother, are usually all together, and we kind of just laugh it off. But if you are an only child, than it may be harder for you. I actuall approch my parents when they are fighting, and tell them to just shut up, and that I am trying to sleep. Or I pack a bag, and leave for a while, and tell them when they want to act mature, give me a call. It really works, they don't fight nearly as often as they used to. Im sure you can find a friend to go to, or maybe a relative until your parents cool it down. Maybe suggest marriage counseling to them. Good Luck, and I hope things soon get better for you!!

love to play spades

secretly record there fighting and get a lot of footage. Then sometimes when you thank the time is right. (when there not fighting) Tell them how you fill and if they say its no big thing. Slow them how they sound. But try to calm about it and just discuss the problem. And tell them you love them and just hate to see them fight.

lonly_male4u

the fist thing you have to do is find a way to make them hear you ask them to sit down and hear you out tell them you just need the m to sit there and listen to you not say a word but just listen once you have their attention lay it all on the line tell them everthing dont hold back on anything they may not like what you have to say but they need to hear you

ive been where you are its not easy to cope with and as parents they are prob blind to haw bad it really is its not your job to fix whats broken with them and you cant but you can let them know how much your being hurt bt their actions but no matter what you do now and always will love them both

hope it helps

marketingexpert

Check out ( http://www.reducingstress.net )
It is a really good stress site.
There are lots of articles on all stress related topics.
I think you will find help for this situation there.

Been there! When I was a child, I used to wake up in the middle of the night to my parents fighting. I got used to it and went back to sleep.

Is there anyone you can talk to about this?

~Niecee~ ÃƒÂ¢Ã‹ÂœÃ‚Â» ÃƒÂ¢Ã‹ÂœÃ‚Â» â™‚

i think i should b/c who wantes to come home to WW1?

gypsy5

Getting out is not a bad idea. But don't run straight to your boyfriend. That could create another kind of mess for you in the future. Is there a help center nearby or a group home. I lived in one and my life is what it is today because i was allowed to grow away from troubles. I am so sorry that they do now realise how much they are hurting you. And thank you for posting this question because you have made me think about how i act around my own children and I will be much better because of you. You deserve a good life,I just don't think running to a man for shelter and comfort would be best for you.You need your own time and space to grow and to figure out the future. There are many agencies out there able to help.

mimalmo

Cutie Pie, I am always amazed at how people will pour out their soul to complete strangers online but can't muster the courage to discuss stuff like this with the ones that we are supposed to be closest to.

Call a meeting, pour out your soul, leave nothing unsaid and don't let anyone leave until there's been some good discussion on how to overcome the situation and an agreed upon followup if there's still problems after that.

You may be thinking "I can't do that". You HAVE TO, you're a family. They obviously need a wake up call.

ramola

leave them alone. close your door & sleep well. don't worry. they will make up after the fight.

oneblondepilgrim

show them this question.

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