Joint custody. How does the time get divided?

Me and my wife recently seperated. We have a stepdaughter who is 7. A daughter who is 3. She is also currently bout 16 weeks pregnant. She moved out bout two weeks ago. I don't want to divorce but she does. She says you can't divorce while you r pregnant. The attorney I talked to said it depends on what judge you get. So anyways we can't agree on how to divide up our time with our daughter. I have been doing most of the caregiving for several months due to her depresion and me having more time. Unfortunatly my daughter can't stand to go with her mother. This is unfortunate becuause it breaks my heart to send her screaming for me every time her mom takes her. I am just wanting to know what is best for my daughter and still somewhat fair without hurting my wife but most importantly our daughter any worse than this has to be? Unfortuntly the only time I am getting to see my stepdaughter is when my wife doesn't have a better option ( in her viewpoint) this is heartbreaking

Confused

I am sorry to hear about your situation first of all. A child knows which parent wants her around more and who she wants to be with. BUt in the eys of the court, they are not old enough to voice their own wants and be heard until they are 13 in some states. But, for children under that age, I am not completely sure if they will do it for 3 yearolds, but do your research. Some one can be appointed to the child. I forget the name of it, but almost like a gaurdian. This person is someone who can speak with the child and spend time with the child at certain times, and she can speak on behalf of the child, so the childs voice can be heard. This is a very difficult situation because it is very hard to remove children from the mother. But the courts also look at the what is in the best interest of the child. Get a lawyer first and foremost. He will tell you everything you can do and try to do. Good luck with everything.

soyousay

Sounds like she may be in a irrational state. She may love you, but at the same time love to hate you. If this is case buckle up, because its going to be a roller coaster! So act the reverse of what you feel. If you want to have both of the girls. Act like it does not bother you not having them, and she may push them on you. Especially if you are usually there to help with them.

I don't many who like to pregnant in the summer, so that may be playing big part too.

alissamarlee

Honestly you need to fight for your family, i know you probably are but you mentioned to she has been dealing with depression. Is she on medication? If not she needs to be and if she is, its not working. I think she is probably just scared and nervous about a lot of things.Although you didnt say why you are getting a divorce. I think you should try marriage counsling. And if that still doesnt work speak with the counseler about what "would be BEST for the children". Best of luck to you and I hope it all works out for the sake of your family.

Victi

I think the less moving around for the three year old the better. She needs stability in her life. Decide who is better equipped to care for her daily needs properly. The other one can see her every weekend or every other weekend. If it is a steady schedule that is better, because she knows what to expect and when. Unfortunately, you are at her mercy when it comes to visitation with your step daughter. Take what you can get.

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