Just seprated from my wife, we have 3 children together Under 3yrs..?

Hi and thanks in advance for any useful information...

my wife and I have just separated due to ongoing conflicts and issues. I have been now living at my mother's for a month or so...my x wife has been anything but stable about visitation. She has threatened all sorts of false allegations about me in order to denote my character, which is quite transparently coming from a place of anger and bitterness over the break up.
Anyway basically I am desperate to see my kids as much as humanly possible, they are my heart and soul. I miss them immensely and am in an incredibly low condition from not seeing them.
My question is....what are my rights to custody as they're father???. I have always been a good dad and have had full time employment. She has stated that the children can not come to my mothers were I am staying as my Mum was diagnosed as having a mental illness some 20 odd yrs ago (she has since obtained a degree and earns 100k + annually etc).

I have had an ongoing gambling problem and also some other minor criminal infractions in the past......will this deny me access??

I just wanna be with my beautiful babies.

thanks
John

The Love Coach

John,

I am sorry to hear that your marriage is in trouble and that you are not allowed to meet your beautiful babies.

I would like you to look at the issue in terms of energy instead of laws. You want to find a legal solution to the problem, but you find the way out of this drama at the same place you got in - in the emotions. With more positive warm energy in the family you will win.

To be able to see your children you first need to fix the relationship with your wife. I don't mean you need to get back together again, but you have to talk to each other and find peace again. You need to exchange negative energy with positive.

Do you get it? Work on forgiveness, warm talks and to understand one another again. If you take legal actions you will loose. Be mature. Seek counselling if necessary. This is for the kids too, they don't want mum and dad to be sharp and angry!! It will affect them negatively for long term.

Think: "I forgive her, I feel sorrry for her, I want us to be friends". That's the key.

HOW you do it it's up to you as long as you move in the right direction.

You can do it!

Sign up for my newsletter if you want further inspiration and guidence.

/Carolin, The Love Coach

alialoggi

Dude, you have to get a lawyer, and you have to go to court. If you aren't hurting your kids, if she has never called the police stating that you hurt the kids, she can't keep them away from you. The longer you wait, the more she can say that you didn't try to see them. Be smart about this and call a lawyer today. Many functioning people have mental illness. Your kids can stay at your mother's house if its safe. Go see a lawyer today. She wont have a leg to stand on, unless you are unfit. I wouldn't worry about it.

Rooster 1972

Unless you have signed your rights away on legal document as a father you are entitled for visitation rights. You say you are a good father and they you say you have gambling problems and criminal infractions. This is why you are separated my friend. Who would want their child raised in an environment like this. You are going to have to do things to straighten your life out. You will need proof to show the courts that you have done things to correct things you have done in the past. Contact an attorney, tell him the whole story, I feel like he can at least get you visitation rights, but with your past history, and no court in the world is going to grant you custody unless you can prove that your ex wife is an unfit mother. Sounds like she is doing well and can provide for them as well, without having to put up with your gambling and criminal activity.

Aimes

Go to court and set up temporary visitation orders why the divorce is being processed.

I don't undersatnd why people think there are any of "easy" answers besides this.

Nice guy

I think this is a situation that ultimately only laywers and a court can resolve. Your anger is understandable but so is probably hers, and it seems the issues in the marriage came from both of you. The only way to make the best out of this is to leave the anger aside. In order to get the right to see your children, the best way is to show that you both are good parents. And for a court the best way to demonstrate this if you two came to an agreement before going to court and without too much involvement of laywers. So you two have to put your anger aside as quickly as possible and work something out together. It takes a good "team" to get out of a relationship in a good way and with as little damage to the children as possible. You certainly also have to show that you seriously want to work on your own problems (which probably caused the separation?).

cavegirlo

The father should have the same rights as the mother when it comes to the children. The courts will have to decide how custody will work. Do your best to stay on the up and up and show that you are deserving of time with your children and make sure you get a lawyer right away. Sometimes courts tend to steer towards the mother more when it comes to children which in these days especially doesn't seem right. There are some very disturbed mothers out there. But with the way your story goes. All you can do is set up visiting times with social service until the courts make the final decision.

apples0919

you'll have to go to court for this to get visitation orders. And yes it does sound like she is bitter about the breakup and that is ashame. It sounds like she may not have been givin the choice in all of this and if you miss your children this much isn't there some way that you could go to counseling and get some help between the two of you so you can be there every night to see your kids?

LesBes

You should get a lawyer and speak with him/her about what's going on. But to my knowledge if you aren't divorced yet, just separated, you still have all of your custody rights. She legally can't keep you from seeing your children or taking them to your mothers.

Janet W

Speak to a lawyer. Or ask this in the legal section of yahoo answers. Just curious how people with ongoing problems in their marriage would bring innocent children into this world in the first place.

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