Kids- are they worth it? PARENTS ONLY PLZ?

wcr412004

I'm 43 and the Dad to a 10 month old baby girl, my first. I avoided having children for years because I loved my freedom. I can now say it is the most wonderful thing I have ever experienced. But I also think a big part was that I waited until I was ready to have a child, because it is hard, time consuming and a responsibility beyond anything you ever had before. You just need to be sure that your freedom is something you are willing to give up.. not the freedom to go and do (take your child with you)... but the freedom of putting yourself first. Your child will need to be first for quite some time.

Lupita

Kids will extremely hold you back from doing what you truly want to do up until they go to school, and even after that you will never be able to just go someplace on a whimsical spree. Kids are worth it only if you want it truly in your heart. Don't have children just because you are getting older. It is okay to live a life without offspring.

Wild & Crazy Gal

Well I have a son who I love dearly and I waited 7 years to also have a child. I am now a single mom. Both partners have to be ready for the change and compromise. What does this mean hmmm you need a break he has something to do will he be willing to help out or will he make you do everything. Children are wonderful and I would never not have my son but both parties have to be willing to compromise. Good Luck Kids are worth it!!!!

Tabatha W

Kids drive you crazy... They will wreck all your nice things and take up all of your time, but there's no truer or greater love in the world than to love your child.

mypassions4life

Kids are a joy. You two have been married a while and have had the opportunity to enjoy each other and do some of the things that parents cant really do and enjoy. Now that you guys are more settled and can support a child it would be a good idea to have one before you get to old. You can still have freedom, but not as much. There are always grandparents (your parents), aunts, friends and babysitters to watch the kids while you guys go out for a night of fun.

butter_cream1981

well no one can answer whether or not they're worth it except you. if you want them then it's worth it. if you don't then it's not. i miss my freedom but i love my kids and wouldn't give em back for anything. they're a lot of work a lot of stress. a lot of sacrifice. you can't be selfish they have to be first they only ruin a marriage if you don't want them and you're arguing about them all the time. kids are the reason for bad marriages the marriage was already bad if that's the case.

Allan

Look around you. Many, many people have gone down the route that you are contemplating. Some are happy, some are not. But, I'm guessing the vast majority will tell you that they do NOT regret having children.

But, in the end, the decision is really yours -- and only yours -- to make. Only you know the strenght of your relationship and whether you are ready.

biancarivera1978

Well, as opposed to you, I had a child at 17. I think that bringing a child to this world is something very serious. I am 28 years old now, and honestly I'm scared of having another one.

Yes, it is difficult and yes, kiss your freedom good-bye. However, as there are negative things to everything, there are positive.

I say if there is love and respect in your relationship, you shouldn't worry. Marriage only fails when the relationship is not working in the beginning.

Motherhood is not easy girl, but in the long run is worth it.

mattysmommy2004

I'm 23, had a baby at age 20 (I was a month away from turning 21). The biggest stresser in our relationship is money and our son. Sounds horrible, but you don't know what it's like to raise a chid until you're actually doing it and far more complicated than you could ever guess.

I wouldn't suggest having a baby just because of your ages. If you enjoy your freedom, I would have a baby either. It's silly, but you don't even think about how little freedom you have once a baby is in your life... you can't even go to the store without packing up the baby, the diaper bag, hauling everything around, etc... My son is almost 3 and I can't even go to the bathroom without him following me inside! hehe.

But seriously, I know I'm younger and may have less life experience than you, but a baby brings some complications into your life/your relationship. The first few weeks with a newborn is glorious and wonderful, but when that baby starts screaming and your hubby heads for the door to go to a bar or something, you're gonna wish you had chosen the other path. It's VERY difficult; it's the hardest thing I've done in my life... but once thing is for sure, I'm glad I had a baby at age 20 because by the time I'm your husband's age, I will have that freedom and have the time to go out and have fun and go on vacations and stuff, you know?

Shell

I loved children but I never wanted to have children until I got pregnant with my first child. I cried for 2 weeks thinking I messed up. Then as she started to grow and move I was excited about it. Then the day I had her was amazing!!! It was worth all 3 days of labor she and her brother are the best things in my life they truly are my heart and soul.I don't think that children ruin marriages I think for some people the change is just too much. My marriage got rocky when my first was born but it wasn't because of her it was because my husband still wanted to be a kid himself......he did grow out of that. Good luck in your choice!!

I was in total shock both times. The first time I found out 2 weeks after my wedding and the second time I found out my marriage was in a bad place but we are stronger now then we ever have been....

Itrolla

Eva C

I have a 10 year old son, and I have to tell you I'm honestly glad that I had him. In some ways, I think I'm selfish because he has no brothers or sisters and at this point it isn't even an option. I had him when I was 21, and I did that because I wanted to still have some life left in me after he grows up and leaves home. I wouldn't trade him for anything, but I'm looking forward to what life will be like in 8 years.

fungirl

they are but only if you really want them. to have them just because you're getting older is not a good reason to have them. you will start to resent them and then you will not be a good parent. you are still young. more and more people are having kids in their late 30s and early 40s. don't do this just because you are capable. everything will change. you will not have your freedom anymore. and everything you thought was important in life will no longer be. all of your priorities will change. is it worth it you ask? yes it is, but like i said only if this is something you really want to do. i hope you make the decision that is best for you. and if you decide not to have them, don't let others try to make you feel bad for not doing it. it's your life and you have to do what makes you happy.

K.W.

Children are a blessing from God, but they do take more time than anything I've ever found. Yes, they are worth it!! You'll question that when your holding a sick child at 3 in the morning after they have vomitted all over everthing, but then when they look at you and say "mommy I love you", it's ALL worth everything in the world. You'll worry about them till the day you die.

javeycat

There is nothing I can say to really explain what it feels like to be a parent. You know how you love your husband? You will love your child so much more than that.
If you value your freedom then don't become a parent because you won't have any for a long time. Mine are 17 and 13 and I am just starting to get time for myself. That was my choice, though, I am totally into being a parent.
It will change the relationship you have with your husband. You won't be each other's babies anymore. It can be good for your relationship and it can be really hard on it.
My advice is if the only reason you are thinking about it is because you are getting older then don't do it. If you really want to be a parent I think you would know that by now.

Aubrey

I think its great that you have a home and can financially support a child, but it takes much more than that!!! What you and your husband need to ask yourselves is are you capable of accepting a child into your life right now? Will you be willing and able to love and spend time with them? Will you be able to give up many of the things you are used to doing? 32 isnt that old and if you and your husband think that your marriage is ready for a child then do it! My husband and i joke that if it wasnt for our daughter we wouldnt be married...but as sad as it sounds its true. We love eachother, but we are too hard headed to stay together without a good reason. Children are the most amazing people in this world!

tewarienormy

Kids are like the candles in a home. Your life would change tremendously when you 2 have kids. Trust me!

happyblonde

If you have doubts then you shouldn't be a parent. Kids are the most amazing thing that has happened to me. If you don't have a secure relationship than it won't work. Remember... you were once a kid yourself.

Why do you ask?

Kids are great, but if you think that you aren't really ready for them then you might not enjoy them to the fullest. Having kids is the true test of how selfish you are. I learned that I am very selfish, but that isn't their fault. I am still learning to give myself to them, but also make time for myself and my husband.

Children don't hinder your life, they may pause things a little or change the paths, but they are no means the end of it.
Think also that if you really want children have them while you are young and when they are grown you are still young enough to travel and do things that you didn't get a chance to.

Nothing is better than a little pair of arms huggin' your neck and saying i love you momma or kiss it momma make it better. Knowing this unconditional love ... nothing beats it.

As far as ruining marriages, if you have a solid marriage right now, having a child should not effect it to that extreme. Sure, there will be some tired cranky moments, but if you each know how to appreciate each other and help each other out, it will only make your bond stronger.

Good luck with your decisions. I never wanted children before I had them, but I thank God everyday for mine...... even when they are pushing me too the brink of insanity. LOL

MarkG

I have two girls ages 9 & 7 and love them to death. Im also 32 and what I can tell you is having a child will take alot of time but it is well worth every minute. A child will make you smile one second and upset you the next second. I would vote for the kid later in life you will be glad you did and you only live once.But if you really enjoy your freedom alot having a kid will only take away from that. Good luck at whatever you decide.

olderbutwiser

I would not trade all the "freedom", all the money, and all the stress-free lifestyle in the world for ONE of my kids....and I have 3!

RDark

Having children in the right setting is the best way to have them, I'm suprised you even asked.
I have three children and was married for almost 10 years, are children keep us bonded. And my children are the reason why I wake up every morning, and why I never give up on anything. When I die a piece of me will live on.

brownsugar

I have two children 2ys and 2 mths. I am 22 and I absolutely adore my babies! BUT I also get greatly frustarted some times. I am a stay at home mom I am with my babies 24 hrs a day and it stresses the crap out of me. But let me tell you this they are the best things I've ever accomplished my whole life. Its amazing to watch them grow and learn and know that i is me who teaching them everything they know. They look at me so loving and trusting a melts my heart. Having kids isn't for everybody. Especially since you waited so long and you've become accustom to the freedom. it WILL be hard for you to adjust especially the first three months!! Pleas make sure you really want to have children before you do. don't do it just because of you age. Speaking or you age you have a hire risk of pregnancy complications and you might want to consider adopting.I that not an option for you make sure you do everything you can to keep healthy for your baby! Good luck

Not your average mom

hell yes! I love my kids. I had my first at 18 years old and I thought my life was over, but I would never do it over. I have 2 of my own and 2 step kids and I want more.

sunbun

if u are only doing this because of your age---THEN DON'T

Children require lots of time and attention...sounds like u are more into yourselves than that of sharing.....skip the kiddos unless u truly want kids for them not because your clock is ticking

sweetbabykitty

I THINK THAT IF YOU TRULY WANT A CHILD, THEN YES, DO IT. BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE THE ONLY REASON YOU WANT ONE IS BECAUSE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO BECAUSE SOCIETY DICTATES IT. THAT'S NOT A REASON TO HAVE A CHILD.

NOBODY HAS ANY IDEA HOW MUCH A CHILD CHANGES YOUR LIFESTYLE UNTIL THEY ARRIVE AND THERE THEY ARE. EVERYTHING CHANGES AND I DO MEAN EVERYTHING! AND THERE IS NO GOING BACK. BUT IT IS A GOOD CHANGE. I HAVEN'T REGRETTED HAVING MY CHILD FOR AN INSTANT. HE HAS CHANGED MY LIFE IN WAYS I NEVER EVEN IMAGINED.

BUT.................I DON'T WANT ANOTHER ONE, EITHER. THEY ARE ALOT OF WORK. AND I ALSO FEEL LIKE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE A CHILD UNLESS YOU CAN PROVIDE MORE THAN ADEQUATE FOR THEM. I.E.: NO PROBLEMS DEALING WITH COLLEGE ISSUES IN THE FUTURE, BUYING THEM A CAR WHEN THEY TURN 16, ETC....

Kerry

Children will complete your relationship with your spouse. I can find little in life that is more fulfilling that raising childrne. A challenge, yes. Will there be difficult times, yes. However, the day a daughter graduates from high school and tells you thanks for all that you have done for her, nothing tops it.

arkiegirl81

I can't think of anything more rewarding in this life, than being a parent. :)

aime

Kids are diffinatly worth it, if your happy to give up certain things for a period of time.
Some people i know are very happy with there lifestyle and kids would throw a spanner in the works. eg .they like to travel go, out alot and are very social.

However you shouldnt see kids as a thing you have to do.
you should have kids because you want them or you can see your self being a parent.

My husband and i have 2 children and would never swap them for any other lifestyle because they are our whole life we'd move the moon for them so to speak. but some people dont see there kids quiet that way , rather as a regret for the life that they have lossed.
we were young parents so maybe our ideas on children are alot different, however they are only kids for so long so if your worried about lifestyle its only for a short period of time till you get it back.

Babysitters, grandparents, and friends always help out if you want time away or dinner out for you time with your husband so you can combine both but you have to willing for the challange!

good luck with what you decide!

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