Ladies: What are some things you would do to keep his temper under control?

sk8terchik9112

my mom divorced my dad for that reason :[

Brittany22507

You shouldnt have to be scared of your husband. If you ever EVER are, he doesnt respect you and you should leave. It could lead to abusive relationships.

Its normal for a husband to get angry, and even to lash out - but only with words. My husband would NEVER dream of hurting me in any way physically . He does get angry and yell, and say hurtful things but that is normal. He apologizes later.

But it is not normal for a woman to be afraid of her husband unless it is in a abusive relationship. Get out.

valicevorpal

You just leave him. You can't calm down an angry man. Men who lash out like that are more than likely going to harm you at some point. You need to leave as soon as you can.... violent men = bad.

YouWish25 is Ready 4 Christmas

Everyone loses their temper from time to time. People have arguments and fights. But, you should never be "scared" of your own spouse. If you feel this temper is physically or emotionally threatening....leave. It sounds like he's abusive and not just bad tempered.

DEBBY'S BABY

I have never and will never be involved with a man with a violent temper.

Casperia

Leave when he's not there to see you go. You may write a short note telling him that you are scared of him and you will not be back, and please move on without you. Do not leave a forwarding address. Do not contact him to see if he has changed. REALLY.

abc

Re-read the question.... What are some things YOU would do to keep HIS temper under control?

Hon, no matter how hard you try or how much you want to, YOU cannot make anyone do anything they don't want to do; nor can you CONTROL anyone's behavior except for your own...only HE can CONTROL HIS temper; if he has temper you need to say, " I love you more than anything; but, I am leaving until YOU get YOUR temper under control (takes anger management classes)"

pink dragon

if you really want to stay with a loser then i suggest marriage counseling or anger management classes. you can both go so he doesn't feel like it's just him, even though it is him.
but i think you should leave him, if you get a black eye tonight just remember i told you so.

Old Kid

You leave him. It's the ONLY way.

Run while you can still use your legs. It only get worse!

VillageGirl

Send him to therapy. It's not your responsibility to "keep his temper under control." That's HIS responsibility. I would recommend having him see a therapist--there are very affective ways out there that aid people in keeping from lashing out.

Tainted Heart

He wouldn't be my husband to begin with so I wouldn't have to worry about keeping him under control. I am not a dog trainer and don't want to be.

nicmit0688

LEAVE HIM!!!

maltese luva

Write to the Dr. Phil show. He is always helping people like you who are unsure of whether they are married to a mentally abusive, out of control person with issues that you can't resolve because it really is not about you it's about him. Your husband is selfish and a punk because real men DO NOT handle situations like this . Please do not have children with this man because he would kill a teenage daughter if she did not come home on time. On the other hand, if you are a constant ****** CUT IT OUT! That would piss anyone off... male or female. Good Luck.

Bear

I hope he hasn't hit you if he has leave him NOW!!

I had the same Issue of a violent, vocal temper. I got into SCA Medieval Combat. I am now my wife's Knight in Shining Armor.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQjh8EQ5h40

If a guy or girl needs someone to hit this is the place

sisternvirginia

I would move out while he was at work. I would never stay married to someone I was a afraid of.

Christine B

It has the potential to get a lot worse. If he will not seek help. please consider leaving. What scares me most is that you ask what you can do to keep him under control. The answer is- nothing. He has to control himself. You could easily start taking responsibility for what he does and this is a lie. Is he responsible if you throw a tantrum? He should not be calling you names. Start getting some help for yourself, support and objective people you trust to talk to. And please remember that no one has the right to treat you this way and you do not make anyone else behave a certain way.Read up on spousal abuse. I cannot say if your husband will ever hit you, but it often starts out the way you have described. There is also verbal abuse and intimidation, which you seem to be experiencing now. If he has ever physically restrained you or forced you to do something- this is also abusive. Please check with a qualified abuse counselor in your area.

rose_32008

I was in a marriage just like that for 30 years. I spent SO much of my life trying to keep things calm for HIM, keep the kids quiet so they didn't upset HIM, watch what HE wanted on TV, going to see the movies HE wanted to see, etc..etc...etc....just to keep HIS temper from flaring up.
After years of this crap, you lose yourself to it, you don't even know any more what YOU like to do, or what YOU might like to watch on TV, etc, and you realize how much of your time and your life you have wasted. I am still very angry about it all, but thank God I finally got out of it when I did.
You deserve better....and trust me..HE is not going to change. So if YOU want to live YOUR life trying to appease a big stuffed overgrown spoiled brat of a man, go for it. But, from someone who has been there, believe me, you don't want to !! You deserve better!

The pink panther

first of all I would talk him into going to anger management classes. If he didn't, I would let him know that I am not happy having to walk on eggs when he is around. I would surely think twice about having children with him. it's not up to the woman to keep his temper under control. It's up to the husband.

Here. And Now.

Well, I'd leave if the temper got to the point where I was physically or mentally harmed.

Once, my husband hit his hand on a display at a store and pushed it over. I was so embarrassed that I told him to grow the f up (very loudly), and walked away from him. He followed me through the store asking me why I did that... and I just ignored him. He has NEVER done anything like that again.

And if you EVER get to the point of being scared of your partner, you must leave. You can't endure that type of stress.

Geez a Drink.

I can't handle people with anger issues.
I'm a totally chilled person so i'd need someone the same.

I couldn't be with a violent tempered man at-all.

Sorry, can't give you advice on how to help him because i just wouldn't waste my time with him.

amiboo

I would make sure he understood that behavior is simply unacceptable around me. Either he gets counseling to get anger managment help and learns to control it or I leave.

His temper is not something you can control, he has to learn to control it himself. If he started getting out of control, I would leave immediately - no talking about it, no nothing - I'm gone.

candy

maybe when he's calm, tell him how you feel.

Precious Love

i had a cousin that was in a situation something like that. her man had an anger problem and would take it out on her and she got fed up with it. one day they was into it and when she had the chance she boiled some water and went behind his back and threw it on him (that got his attention). he then realized what he was doing was wrong but she moved on.

not saying thats what you should do but don't keep taking it. as long as you take it he's going to continue to do it.

lilly l

That is no way to communicate . Let him see this by example and if you get no results leave. This is something he needs to do as it is not your control issue . It is his . If he hits you arrest him ... If he grabs you , ask him with a nice tone ." Please do not touch me" . If you are scared of him, leave him b/c its no way to live . Some ppl just need to learn all over how to communicate properly and properly is getting yourself under control and discussing the issues .....not running away and never solving the problems. If you cannot discuss the issues why even stay?

Wiser1

If your husband has such a violent temper that you are ever (EVER) afraid of him, you are being abused. You should go somewhere safe and call him and tell him you'll come home only after HE has gone to ANGER MANAGEMENT classes for several months. Violent tempers get worse over time and he'll eventually hit you or worse.

mcaeru

If you are scared of your husband, if he lashes out at *you*? If he hurts you in any way? GET OUT.

Marriage should not be about fear. It should be about mutual love and respect.

If he's prepared to go to some sort of anger management counseling or similar, then ok. Give it another shot. But if he doesn't see the problem and is unlikely to do so, then I think you should consider getting away.

~*Paigerz*~

Well, it depends what you mean.If it's hitting you or if you have children hitting them, I suggest leaving him and move in with a relative or a friend.

shy2008

He needs to find what works to keep his anger under control. It's not his wife's job to tiptoe around so not to make him angry. A wife should never fear her husband! So in answer to your question...I wouldn't keep him under control, he needs to learn to do that himself. Hope this helps.......

Donna L

My husband is a great guy, but on extremely rare occasions he will absolutely lose it and throw a temper tantrum a two-year-old would be proud of! He's always ashamed when it's over, and apologizes all over the place, but by then, of course, the harm's done.

What we've done is talk about this at length, and have come up with a code phrase that I use when I see him about to go off. That's the signal for him to walk away from whatever the situation might be until he has control of his temper. So far, it's worked wonders.

As to being afraid of him, HA! Never. We just don't have that kind of relationship. Besides, I told him if he ever was stupid enough to hit me, he'd better make it count, because sooner or later I would regain consciousness and then he would sooooo be in for it!

Bai Maleiha

Hi there lovely sunset! Have a wonderful day.

Men easily cool down with the warm and comforting voice of their wives, delicious meal, extra hugging or being affectionate.

I am sure you know what could easily upset him so be cautious about that. Always find the right time, I repeat dear, THE RIGHT TIME, to talk to him about it. The right time means he is on a cool mood.

He has a problem with managing his anger. He needs to know that this upsets you and if he truly loves you, he would change.

However, if you gave all your efforts to make a statement about your fear of his violent temper and your sincere desire to help him manage his temper, BUT HE REMAINS THE SAME, then consult a marriage counselor. Being in a counseling session with a professional will aid in his speedy realization on the need for him to change for the best..

Good luck.

Garnet Glitter

EXCUUUUUUUSE ME?????

He better keep his own d@mn temper under control....or explain it to the judge after he's arrested & jailed THE FIRST TIME......with divorce papers waiting to be served on him when he gets out.

It's his problem and he had better get it under control...and if you enable him by letting him abuse you, then you're very, very foolish.

Been there

My ex did the same things to me...and then he started being physically abusive on top of the rest...it got worse and worse. I tried everything to keep him calm, but nothing worked. Being calm didn't , being submissive didn't , being rational didn't etc A counsellor told me that there was nothing at all that I could do, the only person who could stop him was himself. It is scary being yelled at and called names, it is even scarier when things are thrown, but it can be terrifying when it gets physical. From a surviving victim of spousal abuse please don't let it get worse. Get out and get safe now my dear.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: