Ladies, how did you adjust your living situation when your soldier deployed?

My husband is deploying for the first time in October. Our second baby is due at the end of September. I know-great timing. We have a 2 year old daughter together. Right now we are both very unhappy with the on base housing we live in. Our goal during deployment is to save as much money as possible. Obviously it would be much cheaper for me to find a small apartment (or even trailer) for me and the kids while he is gone. We could live in a much nicer place for half his BAH. We've been at this base for about 6 months and the only friend I've managed to make is leaving in a few months so I see no reason for me to stay here. I don't like the area.. ok, I'm being nice, I HATE IT HERE. If I moved back home, I'd have family, friends and support, which is something I know I'm going to want and need. I just have some reservations about it for some reason. What did you do when your soldier deployed? Any advice and tips truly appreciated. I'm scared to death here.
Additional Details
I like being an army wife. Don't get me wrong. I don't like this base, or the housing that looks like the projects. I'm not used to moving 3 times in a year, which is what we just did. We live near a tourist town so the prices of everything are jacked up.

adam g

Spent 12 yrs in military. Usually either in laws came down for extended stay or wife would go home.Tough being some where alone with no real friends, good luck

usmcwife722

It depends on where you're stationed, obviously, but I'd advise staying where you're going to be when your husband returns. You'll have a support system with military wives and most of them will understand what it is like to be alone (some will understand being alone with a newborn/infant). As far as staying on base vs. off base, would you feel safe off base? Honestly, would you feel safe and could you find a house/apartment to stay in that you would feel just as safe as on base? Depending on where you're at, living off base could still be cheaper and better than on base. You might have to look around and see what there is where you are. Also, would you live back home where there is a military hospital? I don't know how exactly TriCare or whatever you have works, but I believe it gets more complicated when you're further away from a military hospital and you'll have more appointments with the baby.

Also, I understand not having close friends on the military base; however, I've also noticed that wives tend to bond more when they have babies.

Just some thoughts!

sillerious

i moved to the US before my husband deployed and stayed here during our first and now second deployment. i really dont have any friends, even though i have been here almost 3 years, but i feel more home where i stay with my husband and i want him to have a home to come back to.

samoan_princezz_04

I am the wife of a Marine who just deployed in Jan '09. When we first learned that he was deploying I had the same questions in my head that you have. The outcome of it all...I moved my sister (who is a year younger than I am) in with me that same month he left..and my two nieces. It turned out to work just fine. I have part of my family here to help me and support me while I am helping her as well. And I have the two kids I love most in the world :)

soldierswife87

well i do not live on post or have kids.but i adjusted well.i was sad at first,but got over it cause that is his job and i knew what i married into.i support him all the way til he is home in june this year.we are newlyweds so it was hard on us,but we stayed positve so it would go by quicker.i live in a apt by myself now,thats what i had before we married.but we are moving to a new post when he is home and we will live off post cause i have heard its better and on post is horrible atthe one we are going to in GA.that bah works wonders off post though,cause if u find a cheap enough place,u can pocket the rest.but u have two kids and need your room.unless u get a 2 bed and have the kids share,u can get a cheaper place that way.but u know what u were getting into when he got into the military.so all i can do is keep a positive head and stay supportive til he gets home.show the kids and him u are strong.appreciate that u do a have place to live and money in this economy.u could be worse off.be grateful.it may not be what u want,but its something.but sounds to me for real that u do not like being a miltary wife from your complaints.maybe im not understanding u well.u can email me to talk or explain your thoughts more if u like.

post this same question on the military section and u will get way more and better responses!!thats the section i go to for advice military wise!

Deity of Peace

Well, I'm prior active duty Navy, and I've deployed a number of times over seas. I've befriend plenty of men who where leaving wives and children behind while we where 'underway'. What most of the Navy wives did was they had a family member come and stay with them while living on base. This way they had someone to keep them company, someone to talk to and spend time with.

You can also look into joining local support groups on base at either the family service center or community center. You're not the only military spouse going through this. There are plenty of other women in your shoes, but you have to be willing to get out of the house and met them.

Check the base news paper and see what events are taking place that will put in you a position to meet other wives who live on the installation. I know that at times women who stay in base housing are 'less than favorable' characters to be around; but do remember that they're not all that way. Your situation will only be what you make of it. And if you sit around all day thinking the worst of where you're at, and dreading your husbands separation, then you'll be miserable. But if you focus on a more positive out look, then things will get better. You married a soldier, and part of his duties require him to be separated from you. So you have to make due.

Edit: well I'm sorry to say it, but those are the answers you will receive (across the board). If you knew all these things prior to coming here, (i.e. this is what you signed up for) then why are you here asking us this question? We're only going to be able to answer you the best way we know how.

In other words, if you don't like the answers you're receiving, go and ask the other women who're in the same situation as yourself that live on base. And if you read the majority of the postings given you'll see what everyone who was in your situation did (i.e. they moved a family member in with them, or they made friends). Moving is just something you're going to have to get use too; plain and simply put if you plan on staying married to this man, and he plans on staying active duty Army.

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