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jasmine d
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because familiarity breeds contempt....that is he isnt as nice to you because he sees you everyday and takes you for granted....people are often nicer to strangers than they are thier own family...who they show themselves..."warts and all".... I would be annoyed too !! : ) |
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C. Jean
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Please, you aren't crazy :)!
I have seen many psychotic questions on here regarding boyfriends / husbands, this is not one of them.
The bottom line is your husband is trying to impress, make himself appear like an upstanding citizen & a perfect husband when he doesn't truthfully match up to that image. It is all about self preservation. Your husband probably wishes he could be there for you but sometimes isn't, for a variety of reasons. It might be something that he struggles with, to connect with you and try to make you feel good about yourself, and because he can't get the words out properly or is very intraverted with his emotions (my fiance is the same way!), it comes off that he doesn't care.
I think the best thing to do would be to subtly mention that you liked the advise he gave to those other women and wishes that he would follow through with it at home!
Good luck! |
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EDWARD♥CULLEN
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i know im only 15 and all,
but this always happens to my parents...
well my dad is a really good "outside person", which means he is extra nice to people he doesnt know well or see often.
so at home, he doesnt stand up right away to vacuum clean what my sis spilt or anything, but at some other public place he probably would..
since he is ur husband, he doesnt see u as an outsider, and he does not care as much about what people think abt him, cuz hes just with u |
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ForensicAccountant
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The answer you need is already in your question - communication! Sit with your husband and tell him how you feel. I know my own relationship is very open and honest and my wife would have no problem telling me these problems - In the end, I am happy that she does. |
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jazagod
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I wonder if he even realizes ? |
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Amy W
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I dont think its anything to be jealous about but I too would be annoyed and you should tell him so. Apparently he has it in him so ask him why he isnt that way with you. |
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pamela
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You are not even close to crazy or even being jealous..You are hurt. I would feel the same way and i would definitely say something you have just been slapped in the face and he needs to know that |
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Scatty
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Well if it were me I would feel the same. The fact that he chooses not to listen to yours and listens to others would annoy me too. And what doesnt help is that you are due on shortly and perhaps it wouldnt have upset you as much- if you werent pre-hormonal.. I dont know you as a person but I think he was a little insensitive there.
Talk to him about it, it might help in future or when you really need to confide in him how you are feeling. Men can forget the importance of being honest and open in a relationship so maybe he needs reminding of that.
We all have needs, especially when we have children. Hope you get things sorted |
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shane w
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tell him youll just get support from random men. Whats good for the goose and all that |
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Patricia C
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You are being paranoid. He was just showing off in front of the women. Men do that. |
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Fergy
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(seujiro is an idiot.) Anyway you are right to feel that way. Maybe your husband doesn't realize what he is doing or maybe not doing actually. I think you should tell him just what you told us here. He really needs to know your wants and needs to be a better husband. There is nothing wrong with telling him or asking him for support or to even just listen to you. You would want him to tell you right? So I say talk to him and see where it gets you. (smile) |
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Bill C
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I've noticed that about some guys too. It's like they know in their head what the 'right' answer is, but applying the theory in real time is elusive. It's always nice to provide those type of answers in that situation as it does put him in a spotlight of sorts. Those ladies are probably going around saying how lucky you are to have such a supportive husband.
Now if he can learn to apply those theories, he might just become that wonderful supportive guy they believe he is ;-) |
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Dani
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If you haven't said anything to him about it, how can he know it's bothering you.... why is it so hard to ask him "why aren't you like that with me?" if you've been with him for 8 years? you don't have to bring up that you're jealous or anything... |
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Ms. Dazzle
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Your husband took his attention away from you and gave it to these women. This would upset me as well cause these women don't know your husband to listen to his advice and think he's all educated. They may find him to be a bit off his rocker considering we don't know what he said to these women. Unless they find him charming so they listen to make him feel good and yet they may talk behind his back. I mean like saying he must have a wife who's off her rocker as well. It was not a good thing for him to do considering these women will look at you with facial expressions or begin gossip with other parents. Just ignore. Not much you can do. It's over and done with now unless it continues than its time to confess up to him and let him know. You have nothing to gain or lose. |
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man4u2know
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OMG tell the man how you feel!! i know you think men can read your mind but we cant. Tell him whats on your mind. Do this in a way that does not put him on the defence.
Good luck. |
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Emptiness
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He choses not to be supportive with you.
Start getting more support from him cause now you know he is capaible of doing it.
If he brushes you off like he don't know what to say then I would nicely remind him that he helps other women so he can help you. |
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John R
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Your entitled to the same from him, that he did with them other women. It is sort of strange that he can be that way towards women he barely knows; other than the interaction with your childs play group, but not with you. He may not realize he is doing that, let him know how you feel about what he did, at least he did let you know what happend when he was around them others, so your probably right that he is not going to have a affair, but watch for signs anyway, sometimes it starts just like that. |
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starrfish21
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Hmm, good question
I think it's a fair thing to bring up because it does seem to bother you, and you should be able to talk to your husband about these types of things without him getting weirded out after 8 years of marriage.
I suggest that you bring up the subject without making it about the other women he was talking to, and instead focus on your need for his support. That alone will make you sound less jealous if that's what you're worried about. Make him feel good at the same time by letting him know that his advice is welcomed and encouraged by you. Men love to feel useful. |
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janelove713
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My husband is the exact same. I cry to him about problems and he has the attitude to get on with it. He doesnt even support me when i am upset as he is not very emotional. I know how you feel and if he was talking and helping other woman more than me i would be pissed off too. You really need to get this out with him and talk to him!x |
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Onetoplay
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If he has the time and interest to mentor other women, he certainly should be taking the time and patience to mentor his wife. He's being unfair to you. Obviously he isn't up to no good or he wouldn't have shared with you that he talks to these women but he is silently kicking you in the a*s. You really do need to talk to him about this even if you do sound like a "crazy jealous woman". Just tell him how you feel about him listening to other womens problems and not yours. Don't drag it out, don't sound accusatory and certainly don't make him feel like he shouldn't be talking to anyone at all. |
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prettylittlething
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It's because we all tend to get lazy in our relationships and take each other for granted. We've all done it. You and he have to recognize this and go forward from here. You've been married for a while and this is very typical... you have children, work, bills, life etc.. and your marriage takes a back burner to everything. You need to sit down with him in a quiet and less stressful moment where you 2 can focus on each other and discuss this without finding fault or blame with him. Let him know that it bothers you and you miss that closeness you once had and want him to talk to you that way. I am sure he will listen to your words and take it all in and make an attempt to not be as lazy in the relationship. |
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Stacey-Marie J
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From reading all the details i think the least he could do is support you! Being there through his post traumatic stress must have been so hard and draining.
It's now time to tell him exactly whats on your mind - you need to, if he won't listen show him this question of yours and the answers.
Why should total strangers get his advice and you get "just get on with it". If i was in your shoes i would just have to blurt it out and tell him to sort it out or our marriage won't last much longer. I am lucky my husband isn't such a tw@t. |
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jen07
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When your on the outside looking in its always easier to give your point of view and to commiserate with people he doesent realise he is being selfish with you.... When your in a relanship its easy to take people for granted and thats what he is doing although he may not realise it....best to talk about it in a calm way or it will eat you up inside..good luck |
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Blues
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Most people are always alot kinder and nicer to strangers, its just human nature. Plus the women were probably trying to put him at ease if he was the only male there. Men also fail to realize that alot of the time we are just sort of "venting" when we discuss issues about the home and kids. Just talking about it without wanting someone to fix it for us or give advice. Somehow if we say it out loud it helps us resolve it on our own.
If it helps put yourself in a room of strange fathers and how the conversations would go, it would be small talk and probably about the kids since you do not know what else to talk to other parents about-kids is a safe conversation topic to fill the awkward silence.
Let it go for now. Next time go with him and observe(inconspicuously) if it really bothers you.
Good luck. |
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mskemp2B
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My hubby is the same way!!! (together 10 yrs) Back in the day I would blow up. Now I just accept the fact that he can relate to a stranger better than his own wife :). I think its easier for them to give advice to an outsider,they don't feel like there answer would be judged. You know dicest it, (how we would probably do) and remember its always easy to be on the outside looking in. Once you get over your p*ssed off mood, I would still mention it to him. As "nicely" as possible. BTW, no you're not crazy! Lil' bit jealous? yea, but I think thats a good thing. After 8 yrs if you still get a little jealous, then it shows you don't take your man for granted!!! Good Luck!!! |
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daniella. ♥ Ă—
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hmm i guess that is a bit strange.
do you ever think that maybe he doesn't wna give you really supportive advice incase it's all wrong, or unless he feels a fool or whatever.
i think maybe you should sit down and talk to him, tell him how you feel, then maybe see if things change from there on.
i dont think that your being a crazy jelous woman, and im sure other women dont either, because i and other women would proberly feel the same.
you know, tell him that you dont think that he's gna jump into bed with another woman, you trust him enough to know that he wouldn't do such thing. but just tell him that it made you feel pretty small, and down and see how things go.
i hope all goes well. x |
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odeueus
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i think the reason he told you this was because he wanted you to see what a good dad he was at the playgroup hun thats all x |
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higbluyflohug
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i think, having gone through similar problems with my ex, that maybe for some reason due to something in the past, maybe he has become uncomfortable with giving you advice like that. my ex was very controlling and and whenever she didnt like the answer that i would give her she would get angry so i subconsciously learned to avoid giving her my input on things. im not saying that he may feel the same way for the same exact reason but perhaps it's something similar?
its hard to work someone out of that habit though, if you talk to him about it he MAY be really uncomfortable giving you advice and thoroughly watch for any sign of anger or rejection which will only further support his decision to not provide advice. understand that if this is the case it's probably not something he does consciously so try not to get mad at him if you try talking to him about it. explain what i've said to you calmly and ask him if he thinks this may be the issue.
best wishes! |
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No BitchAssNess
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Maybe you are being a little jealous... I always find it easier to give someone I DONT know advice. I dont know why..
Maybe he feels like you guys are together all the time.. you know everything about eachother... what is there to give you advice on...
Just talk to him about it.. and tell him it bothered you. You didnt get by 8 years without talking about your feelings. |
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