Ladies how would you respond...?

J C

This really isn't about the sweater, so lets look at both things that are on your mind.

You're projecting your relationship onto clothing and are trying to over analyze a piece of cloth.

Did you ask him to get you a sweater? If not, he was thinking of you. Clearly he doesn't pay attention to the details. If you like the
general look or color of the sweater then go and get the right size. Your guy is clearly not giving up on the relationship.

If you did ask for him to get it for you and you like the sweater except for the size, then he should have paid attention to the size better by checking the inside tag. It's possible it was hanging on a hanger with a size on it, but the wrong size-lets face it, women knows this happens but men don't.

If you like the thing at all, then clearly he knows what you like just a little bit and there is hope.

I think you need to relax and remind yourself why you married him in the first place. What things are really special about him.

Get a marriage counselor and see what you can work out. There are kids involved and that always makes divorces sticky.

Calais

Its the thought that counts, males are hopeless with clothes, they just dont look properly, they look but they dont see.

buzz

Take a long hard lok in the mirror and ask yourself why you're upset by a trivial thing like that. Sometimes the solution to marriage problems comes from looking within.

*faith*

well its always the thought that counts he might have had a long day and wasnt up for just anything realy im sure he cares for and loves you just give him another chance.

Sadbuttrue

Yes. It's the thought that counts, however, there was not much thought. Tell him to take it back and get the right size.

Sorry, I'm not a woman. I just want to answer your question.

shortyy

i would walk up to him and be like "i really appreciate the sweater, but you should know by now that im not a large and if you just picked up something random it doesnt really show that you took time to think of me." talk to him about whats going on. seriously, it helps.

Elana

Be glad he recognized that you sometimes wear sweaters.

When people use the term "Whatever" with no explaination,
it is usually pretty dismissive - "Your opinion counts for
nothing, but I'm not going to argue with it. Yap if you
must, but don't expect anything more than to hear yourself
speak".

Lady Hewitt

I think that pesonally I would be happy for the thought. Like you said you are both going through alot right now. take the sweater back and get your size. Thank him for the thought. Have you guys been to a marriage counselor for help yet?

Charmayne C

no! I think that you should come down he just trying not think that you are to sensitive.

Laurie

Seems like you've been having a lot of problems like that and so it's the first reaction to get offended at something so small. I wouldn't worry about, doesn't sound like an issue to me.

jule1125

This is an easy one-take the damn LARGE sweater he bought for you exchange it for what you like, go home, put it on and tell him thanks and the next time he wants to buy you clothes tell him just to ask for your size. :)

espee65

Just look at the thought, exchange it for a smaller size later. He'll never know the difference. Life is hard enough, fix what you can.

firefly

it's the thought that counts, he's a man and most men don't want to be looking thru women's clothes.

nena

ha
that's funny but to be honest maybe his just trying to be funny and just follow his games. but yeah is also counts alot that he thinks about you. just tell hi "baby take the sweter back and get my nice" thats it easy like that

i think that it is the thought that counts but maybe he did that to affend u but i doubt it. i think that he really wants to make things work and u gotta try ur best to keep it together especially if u got kids which ya do. love it and love him

SAK

Please, do yourself a favor, look at the thought that counts. Men don't usually like to go shopping. At least not for stuff that is not for themselves. It is like a hunting trip, they go in, find, get, and get out as quick as they can. Unless it is something they want for themselves. Just thank him for the sweater, take it back, and get it in your size. Take care.

Brtny

I would be mad he should no if you to were married that you dont wear a large

Teacher's Pet

Well 1st of all, if you guys are on the verge of a divorce.. I would say that you guys should spent some time apart before you guys make any sudden decision!!! Only then will you guys know how it REALLY feels to be apart and if you guys miss each other and realize that being apart isn't the way you guys are suppose to be, then you guys should get back together and work things out. Have a serious talk with him and tell him what you feel. Him saying "whatever" to things is because he wants to escape the problems, it does not mean that he does not care about you.... and well follow your heart!!!

Good Luck Girlie!!!

Poppet

I know what you are feeling. What he did was half-a**ed. Not uncommon for people who are having marital difficulties. I've done it and it' been done to me. It's called I want to make a peace offering, but I don't want to appear like I'm begging.

He knows you like to wear the occasional sweater, and he got it in a color that would look good on you? In a moment of insecurity, he chose not to get a size that would fit you. It was a unconscious choice that would doom the gift to failure but still the effort was there to TRY and do something nice for the woman that he loves but is having trouble communicating with. He said "whatever" to avoid talking about his feelings because he was honestly trying to make a peace offering and it failed like he "knew" it would.

Also, because you have been having so many problems you flew off in the "why don't you every pay attention to me, I'm a small not a large." direction.. therefore the gift failed and he has reaffirmed that you are a Harpy and nothing will ever please you. Take a hit for the team to fix this. (IE-swallow your pride) and apologize for not seeing the sweater as the true gift (thought/intention) it was suppose to be.

Example: During a quiet moment in the home SIT (less imposing than standing) down next to him and say, "I'm sorry for overreacting about the size of the sweater. It really is a nice sweater and I'm glad you thought of me to know I would like it. The color is something that I would pick out for myself too. I appreciate your efforts to make me happy. Thank you." Kiss him on the cheek or lips. "But since the size is wrong, why don't we go exchange it and then go for ice cream as a treat? We could share a banana split?" When he meets your gaze hold it with a small smile.

This effort shows that you too are TRYING to make an effort for the happiness of the marriage.

alexandria1_1999

Tell the lard to f off, a large, I would be insulted. He is obviously bargain shopping and doesnt really care about how you feel.

sweetgranny06

at least he bought you something my husband didn't ever

Just Me

pretty petty reason to get upset. Its the thought that counts. Wouldn't matter to me if he bought me the wrong size, he was thinking about you when he was out. My husband and I are going through a lot right now too and we've been through a lot, but when he's been away or out and has picked up things for me, even if I didn't like it or it didn't fit, it was nice to know I was on his mind that day.

WomanWhoReads

If he wasn't so bad to live with, you could smile & say "Thanks! Wrong size, you - but thanks for the present". If he's driving you crazy anyway, you could decide that it's up to you, he hasn't planned to insult you, and he & you could talk about the important things. Like that he wanted to buy you a gift, and didn't think about it, and not bother, but did it anyway? Like that he showed the kids that he likes you and is not embarrassed to buy you something even when you can't be with them? Not that I know anything about your situation, of course, but I think you both should talk, and not about sweater sizes. Of course he views things as - you want a husband or you'll settle for a personal shopper who gets it right because they are paid to do only that?

wildrose

I am married and my husband when purchasing clothes for me get the right size. I would say it was a nice thought but would it be ok for you to return for the right size. Just make sure he totally understands before you do it.

luscious0071

Some men don't know anything about sizes let alone want to stand at a rack and shift through everything on it. How many men do you know that really enjoy going shopping?

You really should look at it as it is the thought that counts. If a couple were together for 50 yrs and you asked the man what size his wife wore he more than likely is not going to know.

Don't sweat the small stuff sweetie your husband is trying to make things better between the two of you. I don't know the 2 of you and what it is that has you on the verge of divorce but you can't really knock him for making an attempt to make you smile.

Good Luck and I hope everything turns out good for you and yours!

McFLY_wannaB

He had to put some thought into it and that shows he cares. Do not take it offensivley, cos anyway if he brought u a large he must not think 'large' girls are ugly which means he loves you no matter what! Try your best to make it through the day, and i hope you the best in your divorce.

Angela D

Let him know how you feel about it, so he knows. I think that is the best solution I can give you.

Special K

I would agree that it's the thought that counts if there were some thought put into it. Women must stop accepting whatever men throw out. When a man thinks 'whatever', whatever is what shows.

Turtle

LMFAO I think your husband is related to MINE.

Example:

For Christmas, I bought him new jeans, shirts, new sneaks, socks, undies, Axe bath set, electric blanket, and PacMan video game.

He got me: clothes. He let his 12 yr old trampy kid help him pick styles (she's been to the stores with me, knew I would HATE most of what she picked out!) and about 2 sizes too large. This wasn't just one article of clothing, it was ALL of it. I'm a married 28 yr old woman with 5 kids, why would I want to dress like I belong in a trailer trash MTV video?

My husband got upset that the clothes didn't fit and I didn't LIKE them at all. (I promised not to lie to him!)

He gave me the elusive "WHATEVER" too, but my hubby says that when his feelings are getting hurt and he's trying to be macho man.

Say thanks for the sweater, he probably just didn't think "what size does she need?" and didn't want you to know he most likely FORGOT what size to get.

PS you could always say to the kids "did you guys help daddy pick this out? What a BEAUTIFUL gift!!" Then wear it with pride coz that's what us moms do!!!

Zabes

When you are on the verge of divorce I think everything your spouse does can be offensive. I know it was the wrong size but he did think of you.

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