Last name issue?

mimi

it seems like the only reason you have to keep his last name is that it will be a task for you to change it. if this is the only reason then i think you should just change it. i would rather spend my energy in a couple of days going from office to office filling out papers then to spend the rest of my life of having to explain to him that iam just lazy and don't want to change it.

by what you describe he seems so petty that he will probably give you hell for not changing it. do you really want to deal with that? realistically it wont take but a couple of days to fill out some papers and sit down in your sofa for a few hours (while you watch tv) and call your credit card companies and so on.

don't give him a reason to back lash on you. the last name is really not that important to you and you don't want to make it seem important to him.

i also don't think you need to pursue taking away his rights to the kids b/c he cant pay child support. there are many single moms that wish their child's father was in the picture to help out with the raising of the kids not the money. he can be an asset to this child's life emotionally. you also don't want your kids to grow up and learn that you took their father's rights away b/c of money. that looks selfish and petty. You should still pursue your rights and file for child support whether you think you will get it or not.

Coltsgal

legally it's your name. do what you feel you want to do. just because you're divorced, doesnt mean he's entitled to his "name" back.

kevindoran77

He cannot compell you to change your name unless he wants to pay his lawyer extra to push the issue. Tell him to stuff it.

Mira

Don't let HIM make your decisions. if he's unwilling to do anything for himself why should he have ANY say in your life? keep it if you want, it IS a lot easier!

And believe me, if anyone's unworthy, it sounds like it's HIM!

Kim B

If you want to keep it, keep it. My mother-in-law has her husbands last name because of work, documents, etc. And it is a pain to get it all changed, so screw him.

Patchouli

Think about it...do you really want to keep this losers last name?!
Pain in the butt or not, I wouldn't want his name tagged onto mine!!
AND if he's gonna make you change your name, tell him you are going to change the kids too!

bonski81

is say you change your name back on the principle that you dont need to be reminded of the ***. i just got a divorce, i know its a pain in the but to get it changed back but what satisfaction you'll feel when you do.

Sweet Lilies & Lavender

He has no right in saying that you can not keep your married last name. If I were you, I would keep it, and save yourself the greif of having to change everything.

legallyablondie

i honestly think you should keep it the way you want to. it's YOUR name now too. if you want to keep it, then you should fight for it. if you want to change it back. change it. he's a moron. it's just a stupid name. good luck.

satar032

Totally YOUR call!

lcayote

change you last name but leave it up the kids to do later if they want to.

you don't have to fight him when you got married the name legally became yours if you want it keep it its nothing he can do about it

jessica c

Many Many women keep their Ex-Husbands last name after a divorce.
It's up to you to do what you want, he has no say.
you can change your name to pumpkin head if that is what you want!! he can't dictate any of that!
and you are the mother of his children, if you aren't worthy of his name then what makes him think his children are ?
I'd do what makes your life easier, I just recently got divorced too, I elected to have my name changed to my maiden name just because I didn't want to have his name then I went ahead and hi-fend my children's names with there fathers and my maiden name.

CluelessOne

Tell your buffoon of husband to get over himself. Keep the name - at least you and your kids will have the same last name. Trust me it's a pain when they are different divorced and remarried here. Don't take his rights away - they are his kids - one never knows what time can do for or to a person. Just live your life the best you can for yourself and your children.

Best of luck to you. Ãœ

sonnyboy

Stay with the last name you want to.He can't force you to change your name back anyway.That way you and your children will have the same last names.I think that's important to children.
I agree.He sounds like a moron.Do what you feel is best for you and the children.
Good luck.

morgan

i think you should fight him that way you will atleast have the same last name as your children

pink-spider

Personally I would change my name back. If he's as much of a douche as you make him out to be I wouldn't want to have that kind of connection with him.

jade2311

He can not make you change your name. That is a decision left up to you. He can not force it. It is better to keep it until you get remarried anyway to save the trouble, cost, and embarrasment that happens when someone calls you Mrs. ? and you have to correct them...

T the D

That name is legally yours now, and he has no say whatsoever in your decision to change it, or not to change it.

It is a huge pain in the behind to change your last name. You have to change EVERYTHING. Licensens, credit cards, utilities, social security card, and on and on. If you want to keep that name for the convienence of it, then go ahead and keep it. I know I probably would. It'll make it easier on your kids too if you have the same last name as them.

billy g

You don't have to change your name if you don't want to.
My ex had it specifically put in the divorce decree that her maiden name be restored to her and has yet to change it. I don't really care because my children have my last name too and she's their mother.
I am remarried now and I thought it might bother my new wife but she understands
1. what a hassle it would be
2. that the kids have our last name too
3. she is Mrs. and the ex is just Ms.

Miles

You do what ever you want. He has no say in what you decide.

Drew's Mom

TELL HIM IT'S NONE OF HIS BUSINESS WHAT YOUR LAST NAME IS . . HE GAVE IT TO YOU AND IT'S UP TO YOU IF YOU WANT TO KEEP IT OR NOT. IT'S LIKE THE WEDDING RING HE GAVE YOU, IT'S YOURS NOW AND THERE'S NOTHING HE CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Monty R

Keep the last name. He don't have to right to make you change it anyway. And in some states, like here in TN, if you have a child you have to keep the last name anyway. It's your choice, so keep it.

Allison C

welp i dont know lol

leysarob

He can't make you change the name. It's yours. Legally. Tell him to stop crying like a baby and get over it.

Brit-Brat

I know exactly what you mean. When my parents divorced, my Mom always told herself she would change back to her maiden name, but because it had been her last name for so long(my parents were married 10 years also), she just was never able to do it. My opinion is that, if he's such a moron, then you should possibly change back to you maiden name, to show that you have completely excluded him from your life, and to show that you have no intentions of dealing with someone(as far as a relationship) of his nature. Now as far as him giving up rights, I feel that it will be unfair to the children, because although he can't help finacially, he can possibly help them emotionally, or in many other ways. If the kids really love their father, and he loves them just the same, then he still deserves to have rights as their father.

lt_sherman

file a restraining order that name became just as much yours as it is his when u married him

fear_no_evil143

CHange it back to your last name....
If he is such a MORON it's bad enough yoru kids have to carry it, might as well change it....

Change it!

Brn_Eye_Grl

My mom had this dilemma when she and my dad got divorced. Although she actually wanted to go back to her maiden name, she kept her married name because she thought it might be harder on us kids with our mom having a different name than us, and also so as not to have to deal with the hassle of changing her name back to her maiden name.

It was easier on us with her having the same name as us. Already divorce is stressful on all involved, especially kids if they are young (we were). By changing your name, that adds even more confusion. And especially if you want to keep it anyway, then I say keep it!

: )

I didn't know he could take back his name, but when i divorced my ex asked if i was going to change my name back, (just in conversation) and I told him no because of the kids and he's fine with that. But if you have to change back to your maiden, could you possibly change the kids names also? Sounds like he's just angry and bitter, good luck!

Grampa B

The only words in your paragraph that mean anything to the question are, Ive just filed, Use that same independence to do what you want and dont ask anyone except those who are there for you.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: